


Beware Promises Of Always

by gatergirl79



Series: Its Not Our Time [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 05, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Dean, Kid Fic, M/M, No Beta, Off-screen Minor Character Death, POV Castiel, POV Dean Winchester, POV Sam Winchester, Same-Sex Marriage, Season/Series 05 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2017-12-16 10:48:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 80,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/861228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gatergirl79/pseuds/gatergirl79
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean Winchester was saved from Hell by an angel he'd never expected where it would lead him. He spent a year ignoring the strange connection he had with the creature until he almost lost him. Now he's going to make the most of his life, for as long as he has one. Which means finally admitting to his feelings and asking Castiel to fallen even further and marry him. Of course this is the life of Dean Winchester, so it was never going to be easy. Especially when Heaven is out for revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Can't Fight This Feeling Any Longer

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: my first Destiel story in an age. I’ve been meaning to write this one for a while. Its based on a set of video’s I made a year or so ago. It's Not My Time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAvoND8m-FY  
> I’m splitting the story into four, just like the video’s. This is the first part obviously. AU and while it contains a mish-mash of episodes, it doesn’t follow the canon time-line exactly. It picking up from the end of season four, but then takes its own turn. Slash obviously. 
> 
> Subtitle: Song by REO Speedwagon - Which you may remember appeared in the season two episode Simon Said.  
> [1 - Beware Promises of Always Cover](http://gatergirl79.deviantart.com/art/1-Beware-Promises-of-Always-Cover-381419124) by ~[Gatergirl79](http://gatergirl79.deviantart.com/) on [deviantART](http://www.deviantart.com)  
> Hope you enjoy it.

"Are you sure you want to do this Dean?" Sam asked as they stared into the jewellery shop window.

Dean glanced up at his brother. "I thought you were okay with it? You said you didn’t care."

"I don’t care. I just…this is big Dean and well…" the large hunter shrugged. "You don’t exactly have a great track record with commitment."

"Hey, I tried okay. It wasn’t my fault Cassie thought I was insane, and I wasn’t going to stay with Lisa when I only had a few months left. That wouldn’t have been fair."

Sam sighed. "I know. - But Dean….look it’s just…."

"Spit it out."

"It’s Cas, man. An angel…" he whispered. "this isn’t going to exactly be simple. He’s already on the powers-that-be’s hit list. And while I’m sure you…."

"I what?" Dean glared.

"Care about…."

"Care about? Wow, hold it there Sammy. Questioning my commitment issues is one thing, but don’t you dare question…."

Sam’s hands shot up in defence. "Wow, okay, sorry. I’m just worried that your rushing into this."

"Damn right I’m rushing into this." Dean snapped. "With the way our lives are, with everything that’s coming, I can’t afford to wait and see if we make it out of this. - And I’ve already lost him once. Twice if you count that near miss in Pontiac. If you think I’m going to waste any more time, your sourly mistaken Sammy."

Sam sighed, glancing back into the window. "But you’ve never been with a guy before. - _Have_ you?" his head snapped back with a questioning look in his eyes.

Dean swung back to the display, his eyes locked on the silver bands. "No. - But what’s the big deal?"

"Seriously?" Sam gaped. "You know what the big deal is, Dean."

"Look aren’t you supposed to be the one with the ‘out and proud’ banner? Aren’t you supposed to be telling _me_ that it doesn’t matter? What gives?"

Sam shrugged. He really didn’t know why he was having such a hard time with this. Probably because it had come so out of the blue. Sure he’d known Dean and Castiel were close, closer than he’s seen Dean with anyone ever. And he had to admit he’d been a little jealous about it. Might have even been part of the reason he’d rushed head first into the mess with Ruby. But that didn’t mean that Dean was feeling what he thought he was feeling. Thinking he’d lost Cas three months ago had shaken Dean, and Sam wasn’t sure if he was mistaking the relief he felt for something more.

"Sam! Sammy!" Dean snapped, shaking his shoulder.

"Dean, I just don’t want you to do something you’ll regret, or something that might screw Cas up, he’s new to all this. _Humanity_. Does…." he flushed, hating himself for what he was about to voice. "Does he even feel that way about you?"

Dean stalled for a moment. Obviously he hadn’t thought about that part. "Well…He hasn’t said anything but…."

"But?"

Dean shrugged, staring sadly at the rings before turning and walking away. Sam wanted to kick himself. Dean had been like a different person the last few days, calm and at ease with the world in a way he hadn’t been before and now thanks to Sam’s big mouth he was back to square one. _Good going Sam Winchester._ He scolded himself.

"Dean! Dean wait up. I’m sorry okay. I shouldn’t have…."

"It’s fine." Dean snapped, that old familiar dismissive tone back. "Lets just get back to work."

Sam climbed back into his seat and sighed. Why did he have to be the sensible one? Why couldn’t he have just let Dean live his own life? Because he was the sensible one, and he wasn’t about to stand by and watch his brother mess out the only solid relationship he’d ever had. All he wanted was for Dean to be sure. Sure of himself and Cas.

"Dean?"

"Hmm."

"Maybe you could, you know - just ask him?"

"Ask who what? Is this about the case? Are you in need of assistance?"

The car swerved slightly across the road.

"jeez Cas, how many times have I told you, no surprise visits while I’m driving." Dean panted, shifting in his seat.

"Are you alright Dean? You look flushed."

Dean shot Sam a look before answering. "Of course I’m flushed, you just sacred the crap out of me and almost made me crash my baby."

"Apologises Dean. - How is the hunt going?"

"Good. Is there a reason you dropped in? How’s the God search going?" Dean snapped, his tone harder than usual.

Sam looked from his brother to Cas, who looked confused and hurt. _Way to go Sam._

"The search is progressing….slowly."

"Yeah. Figured." Dean scoffed and Sam had the strong desire to punch him. Sure he was pissed but there was no reason to be a dick to the guy not ten minutes ago he was contemplating marrying.

"Ignore him Cas. He got out of the wrong side of the bed."

Castiel brows furrowed as he watched Dean with concern. And like that Sam really wanted to throw himself under a bus, and take his huge feet with him.

"I see." Castiel murmured after a few minutes. "I will return when you are in a better mood."

"Wait….Shit." Dean swore as Castiel vanished from the backseat of the car, slamming his hand into the steering wheel. "You see what you did!" he snapped. "You and your big mouth."

"I was just trying to help okay. If the roles were reversed you would have done the same."

"Yeah, only _you_ wouldn’t have listened." Dean snapped, the jib filled with unspoken meaning that made them both wince.

"I guess it make you the smarter brother then, huh." Sam murmured, slouching down in the passenger seat and turning his attention to the window.

 

**~Beware Promises Of Always~**

 

"Dean?"

"What?" the hunter grumbled from his place at the table where his head was buried in the computer.

"Huh, listen about what I said earlier….." Sam watched as Dean’s back stiffened. "….maybe you shouldn’t listen to me…."

Dean sent him a side ways glance. "Then or now?"

"Then."

Dean didn’t reply, turning back to his work.

"I mean, what do I know?" Sam rushed on, needing to ease the weight that had been crippling him all afternoon. "I mean….you know Cas better than I do right? - And you know what you feel…."

"Sam, we’re working." Dean snapped.

"Yeah, right." Sam murmured, dropping his gaze back to his books for only a few seconds. "But if you really want to do this Dean, I’m behind you one hundred percent. - I owe you that at least."

Dean slammed the lid down on his computer and shoved the chair back. "I need some air."

Sam watched warily as Dean marched furiously out of the room.

 

**~Beware Promises Of Always~**

 

Dean sat at the bar cradling a cold bottle just staring at the faded, damp label. He’d been rolling over what Sam had said all day and he hadn’t to admit that his brother might be right. Maybe he was only think about settling down with Cas out of some kind of insane fear of losing him. He knew he wasn’t gay, Sam was right about that too. But….he just couldn’t shake the feeling that his and Cas were right. He wished he could look Sam in the eyes and tell him that he’d always felt an attraction to guys, if only to get his kid brother off his back. But he couldn’t, because he hadn’t. But he’d always felt an attraction to Cas. From the very first day, from the moment he’d looked at the angel he’d felt it, and it had freaked him out. It was so intense, so strong.

He’d come back from hell changed in so many ways. Dean shook his head trying to dispel the memories but he couldn’t, he had to face them sometime. He’d done a lot of evil shit in hell, stuff that was never going to wash off. Cas knew it, all of it. Cas knew stuff he hadn’t even told Sam about. Not just stuff that he’d done, but the things done to him. Things he despised himself for, because part of him had like it. Had wanted the pain and humiliation as just punishment for all the sins he’d committed over the years, for letting his brother and father down. But Cas never looked at him with disgust, or like he was a monster. He never pressed for explanations or punished him, because he knew Dean punished himself enough already. Cas never watched him like he was going to lose it. Not like Sam did. He’d caught that look in Sam’s eyes more than once. The disgust, the hate, the disbelief. He’d even see fear on occasion, but Cas never looked at him like that.

And isn’t that all he’d ever wanted? Someone to understand him and his life and except it because it was who he was. He was a hunter, through and through, that was never going to change. But he wanted a life outside of hunting, he wanted to have a family to escape into and forget what was going on out there.

Before he’d thought he could have that with Lisa and her son, but he wasn’t fool enough to think that that was going to work. Lisa might know what his life was, but he knew she would want to be pulled into it. - And he didn’t feel anything close to what he felt for Cas, for Lisa. And surely that was the most important thing, right? The bond he and Cas had would see them through whatever the future held for them.

"Hey?"

Dean’s head spun around to meet the bright green eyes of a pretty blonde, her lips pulled into a smile Dean had seen all his life. It said she was interested. That she wanted him. And for the first time, he didn’t like seeing it.

"Hello Dean."

Dean’s heart leapt into his chest as his head snapped around to face the angel behind him. He wonderful for only a second what the girl was thinking about Cas’s sudden appearance, but then decided he didn’t care, because Cas was there. "Hey Cas." he tried not to smile, but he knew the corner of his mouth had curved upwards. "What do you want?"

Cas looked behind him at the blonde, his features utterly motionless. Dean swallowed and turned to the woman behind him. "Oh, this is…."

"Jodie." she smiled, looking between them.

"I will leave you to your…."

"No." Dean snapped, his arm shooting out to grip the trench coat tightly. "We were just chatting. Stay." He even surprised himself in the intensity of the request.

"Oh." Jodie gasped behind him, Dean’s head snapping around to meet her green gaze.

"Huh?"

She looked between them, looked Dean from top to boot and then straightened. "Sorry, I….you just didn’t seem the type."

"Type?" Cas frowned, looking at her with his characteristic head tilt.

Dean smiled apologetically. "Yeah, sorry." he shrugged lightly. "It was nice meeting you though."

"Yeah. You two have a nice night." Jodie smiled warmly and strolled away.

"What were you talking about?" Cas frowned.

Dean watched her go for a few more seconds before turning back to Cas. "Nothing. What a drink?"

"I don’t need to drink."

"That’s not what I asked." Dean tapped the stool next to him. "Sit. Two beers. - Thanks."

The bottle were placed in front of them and Dean pushed one to Cas. He watched as the angel eyed the bottle uncertainly before finally raising it to his lips. He watched at those plump chapped lips opened and curved around the head of the bottle and Dean once again surprised himself when a spark of intense arousal shot through him. He sucked in a breath, his heart racing hard against his chest. His gaze shifted to Cas’s throat, watching as his Adam’s apple bobbed at he gulped down the whole beer without taking a breath and Dean’s mind exploded with visions of Cas on his knees, those lips wrapped around solid warm flesh rather than cold glass. Dean shifted on his stool, quickly lifting his own cool beer to wash away the heat that had blanketed his body. _Eat that Sam_. He heard himself think.

"So…." Dean said once he’d found his voice again. "…what are you doing here?"

"I will leave if you…."

"jeez, man. I just asking a question."

Cas looked at the bar top. "If you are still feeling annoyed Dean, I would rather leave than have to…."

"I’m not annoyed Cas. I’m just tired okay. We’ve been working no stop for weeks, we’ve got Lucifer and the apocalypse breathing down our next. I just wish…." he sighed warily.

"What Dean?"

Dean turned to meet the angel’s blue eyes, allowing himself to be drawn deep into their core, feeling the peace come over him as it always did. "I just wish I had a place to relax sometimes. Someone to help me forget the chaos that is our lives." he murmured, never breaking eye contact.

Cas sat silently, staring at Dean for a long moment, his brows drawn tight together. "Maybe when this is over Dean." he said in a soft voice. "You could find that. - If we survive."

Dean stared at his friend. "Actually I was thinking of finding it….now." he murmured a little nervously.

Cas didn’t react, he just remained motionless on the bar stool, his eyes fixed to the top. "Would it really be fair to….the woman to drag her into this when there’s no guarantee that your going to survive it?" he asked matter-of-factly. "Unless you were considering finding a fellow hunter? - Maybe you’re acquaintance Jo?"

"Jo?" Dean frowned. "You know about Jo?"

"Of course Dean. I know about all of your friends. It’s my job to know." he looked at him like Dean had lost all the sense God gifted him with.

"Right. - But no. Jo’s….great, and I love her, but…." he shook his head, fixing his gaze on the bottle in front of him. "…I kinda see her more as a sister, you know. I think we could have had something once, back when we first met, but now." he shook his head. "Nuh. She’s not what I want." he added, glancing at Cas out of the corner of his eye.

"I see."

Dean wanted to tell him that he was what he wanted. That he could be that person to help him escape, but something caught in his throat. Sam’s voice haunting his thoughts. What if Cas didn’t feel the same? What if this was all in his head, that Cas only saw him as a responsibility. "What about you Cas?"

"Me?"

"Ever thought about….well cutting the apron strings?"

Cas looked at him confused and Dean kicked himself, he really had to remember to talk in plan English.

"I mean, quitting, stop being an angel?"

"I will always be an angel Dean."

"Yeah." Dean sighed. "But you’ve cut all ties with Heaven now, what if….do you really want to go back?"

Cas dropped his hands into his lap. "I hadn’t actually thought about it Dean. I’m an Angel, my place is in heaven."

"Your place is wherever you want it to be." Dean grumbled.

"And if I did fall….?"

Dean saw the shiver pass through his friend and his gut clenched tight. Cas couldn’t even contemplate leaving Heaven.

"….what would I do? Where would I go?"

"You could join with me and Sam. We could….all hunt together. One big family."

Cas looked up at him. "I would not wish to come between you and Sam, Dean." he shook his head.

"You wouldn’t be coming between us, Cas. Sam’s my brother. He’ll always be my brother, no matter how much he messes up…."

"I don’t think it is fair to blame him for what happened with Ruby, Dean. - I was as responsible as her. I could have told you what was happening."

Dean’s hand snapped out to grip his friends shoulder. His palm landing higher that he consciously intended, causing his fingers to brush against the collar of the angel’s shirt. It lay there, Dean unwilling to withdraw it, while his heart thundered. He had to fight the desire to slip his fingers up till he touched the flesh of Cas’s neck. Cas turned to meet his gaze and once again Dean was lost.

"Dean?" Cas whispered.

"You….did right in the end Cas. You stood by me in the end." his voice got low, husky.

"Dean!"

The pair’s heads snapped around as Sam came rushing over, an apologetic look on the hunters face as he looked between his brother and the angel, his eyes settling on Dean’s hand, which he quickly pulled back.

"What do you want?"

"I think I’ve figured out what’s going on."

Dean sighed as his private moment with Cas vanished in a puff of demon smoke. "Okay, out with it."

"I think it’s a sharp-shifter."

"Huh?" Dean frowned. "You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Fine. I guess we’re hitting the sewers. You coming Cas?"

The angel shook his head. "I should get back to my search Dean. Sam." he nodded.

"At least leave with us, okay. Don’t want to scare the patrons."

Cas nodded and got up from his seat, strolling calmly out of the bar at Dean’s side. They paused beside the Impala, and Dean nodded over to Cas from the driver’s side door.

"Let me know how things go with the god hunt, huh."

"I will Dean. - Be careful with the shape-shifter."

Dean nodded.

Sam shifted awkwardly on his feet for a few seconds before leaping into his seat, leaving Dean and Cas staring silently at each other. He buried his eyes in the city map until he heard the other door open and close. He finally looked up to see Dean looked frustrated and Cas gone.

"Sorry."

"For what?" Dean asked as he started the engine.

"Interrupting your date."

Dean shot his a hard stare but there was a smile behind it. "It was……it’s fine. Occupational hazard."

"Did you talk about….you know?" Sam pressed as the Impala moved away from it’s parking space.

"Kinda. I guess. - I…told him I wanted to settle down."

"With him?" Sam watched his brother intently.

"Not exactly?"

"Meaning not at all."

"He doesn’t want to give up being an angel." Dean announced matter-of-factly.

"Oh. - But….maybe he…." Sam frowned down at his map. "So you’re not going to ask him."

"Is there any point?" Dean huffed.

"There’s a point if he says yes, and you won’t know unless you ask. So… _ask_."

"What happened to I’m only doing this because of my fucked up emotional responses?"

"Like I said, I might have been wrong."

They drove on in silence for a good ten minutes before Dean spoke again. "And what if he says no? We’ll be an angel down on the brink of a war."

"You know Cas wouldn’t abandon us. Not now. This fight is as important to him as it is to us."

"And after?" Dean murmured.

"After? - Well…." Sam shrugged.

"Exactly. It’ll be over. Finished. Caput. He’ll go fluttering off back to heaven."

"He could do that whether you ask him or not. - At least give him the option."

Dean huffed and stared out at the night. He reached for the radio, twisting the knob till the vehicle was filled with music.

I can’t fight this feeling any longer.

"See, even your baby’s trying to tell you something." Sam laughed at the song continued.

"Bitch."

"Jerk."


	2. Right Kind of Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title taken from Leanne Rimes song Right Kind of Wrong.

Sam was wiping off the blood from his face when he heard the familiar flutter of air moving in the next room. It had been a hard night and day tracking that shape-shifter, and they’d ended up covered in blood and glop by the time they trailed into the motel. They still hadn’t figured out just what the shape-shifter was doing, the murders made little sense to either of them, but when has a shape-shifter ever made sense? They were just both glad that the case was over. It always made them feel good to close a case, especially when they didn’t have any hope of winning the big grudge match that was waiting around the next corner.

Sam strolled out of the bathroom to see Cas sat on the end of Dean’s bed, Dean pacing awkwardly back and forth. They’d made a stop before coming back to the motel, one that had gotten them a heap of weird looks and comments. He still smirked at the flustered way Dean had dealt with the sales assistant who’d assumed the ring was for Sam. "No, I’m his brother. Just here for moral support." he quickly corrected. Causing the assistant to blush.

Dean had walked out of that store with a velvet box and a wide smile, but there had been a heavy weight on his brother shoulders that he wasn’t going to be rid of until this whole thing was faced.

Sam watched Dean ramble on about the case with Cas, while he avoided eye contact and paced around the room. If Cas noticed Dean weird behaviour then he wasn’t showing it. He just sat there silently listening. His gaze flickering between his hands, Dean and Sam.

"I wish we knew why he was killing people?" Dean grumbled.

"Dean. Weren’t you the one to say that it didn’t matter why, as long as the monster was dead." Sam reminded him from the bathroom doorway, where he was still drying off with a fluffy yellow towel.

"Yeah, well….I’ve changed my mind. It just doesn’t feel…..finished."

"I’m sure that’s just the adrenaline that is still flooding you body Dean."

Dean looked over at Cas, and Sam saw his eyes soften.

"Yeah. Probably." he smiled a little.

"Dean."

"Yeah." Dean turned to meet his brothers gaze.

Sam nodded his head at Cas, mouthing _‘do it. Ask.’_. Dean shook his head, Sam nodded again, adding a bitch face to the argument. "Cas there’s something Dean wants to talk to you about."

Cas frowned up at the two brothers. "What is it Dean?"

"Uh….Thanks Sam." he snapped, turning to look at Cas. "Uh…well…" he swallowed. "You remember we were talking last night."

"Yes."

"About me wanting something…wanting to have a person to…." he stammered over his words till he finally took a deep breath. He turned and marched determinedly over to his leather jacket, reaching into the pocket for the velvet box. Opening it, he stared down at the plan silver rings. Taking a sharp breath he tugged on the smaller one. He’d had to guess blindly at a size. He hoped it wasn’t too small. Turning around slowly he held it between his thumb and two fingers. "I was….Okay, so look…" just state the facts to him. "…when I…Sam could you give us a minute."

Sam nodded and slipped back into the bathroom, softly closing the door behind him.

"Look Cas. I know this is all sudden and probably weird and well, considering you’re an angel, probably totally against the rules, but when I thought those junkless archangel’s had killed you it almost _killed_ me and I’ve been thinking over the past few weeks….I really don’t want to risk losing you again. Not without you knowing that….well…." he moved a little closer to the angel, his friend. The ring still pressed firmly between his fingers. "We’ve got something, right? I mean you feel it too, right?"

"Dean?"

"Like, a bond. A connection. - Cas, your not an idiot, you know what this is." Dean waved the ring at him. "I’m no good at this, never thought I’d have to do it. - But when I said I wanted to settle down, I meant it. But not with Jo or Lisa, or some random woman I met in a bar. I meant you Cas. And I know this is insane, believe me I know. Sam’s told me enough. But he also thinks that I should just….ask. So, here I am, asking."

Cas looked from the silver ring to Dean and back again. "Your asking me to…." he shook his head. "Dean I’m an angel."

Dean’s face crumbled as the hope vanished. "Right. Yeah. No gay marriage. Big no no. Got it. Stupid me. Just…."

"Dean, I’m utterly indifferent to sexual orientation, This is not about that. I’m an angel, I’m committed to heaven. Other’s have been banished for what you’re asking of me."

"You’re already banished Cas." Dean pressed, taking a step forward. "For helping me save Sam."

Cas closed his eyes, sighing. "That’s not the same Dean. When this is over I could still go home. If I do this. - That’ll be it. I will truly be a fallen angel."

Dean huffed, turning away from his friend. "Fine. That’s fine. You go back to those jerks that would tear the world apart out of boredom. That’s just fine. See ya around."

"Don’t be a child Dean. - They’re my family. You would not turn your back on your family, yet your expect that from me?"

"I would if they were dicks. - For _you_." Dean snapped.

Cas shook his head. "No Dean, you would not. Family is everything to you."

"Yeah, well maybe. But my family happen to care about me and what I want. - As well as the rest of the god-damn world. Yours….your just another soldier in their war Cas. They may call you brother, but they don’t give a shit about you. And you know it!"

Cas glared furiously at Dean. "Don’t presume to understand heaven Dean." he said in a hard harsh tone that sent a shiver down the hunters spine.

"I understand better than you seem to. God’s gone, he split and now heaven’s throwing a party. To hell with us poor…what was it Uriel called us? Mud monkeys. Heaven doesn’t give a shit about us Cas."

"That’s not…."

"What? True." Dean clenched his jaw tight. "Open your goddamn eyes. They’ll burn this place to the ground, and they’ll rip me and Sam to pieces in the process and when they’re done, you think they’ll be welcoming you back with open arms? Don’t fool yourself." he scoffed, his fingers curling tight around the silver band. "We’re not winning this war Cas, we all know that. I just want to have something in the meantime."

"Dean."

The fight slipped out of him with that one word. "It’s fine. I was stupid to even…." he shook his head, strolling back to his jacket, ripping it off the back of the chair. "Sam was probably right anyway. It’s probably nothing, I just don’t want to lose anyone else." he headed for the door only to feel a firm grip on his sleeve, halting him.

"Dean, please just understand." Cas pleaded, his blue eyes gleaming in the motel lights.

Dean released a wary sigh. "I understand Cas. Family comes first." he nodded and continued to the door.

Cas was still staring at it when Sam finally returned from the bathroom. He turned to met the hunters sympathetic hazel eyes.

"I can’t turn my back on heaven Sam."

Sam nodded silently.

"They’re my family. Isn’t Dean the first to say that family is everything?"

"Cas, I…" Sam swallowed before taking a seat on the couch. "…I don’t want to intervene in whatever it is between you guys, really I don’t. And I get where your coming from and I admit I had my doubts but…" he stared uncomfortably at his feet. "I think I was wrong. In fact I’m sure I was. - Wasn’t I?" he looked at Cas, who met his gaze unflinchingly before giving the smallest nod. Sam couldn’t help but smile. "And as for your family. Dean’s right, they really don’t care about you or anything but themselves, Cas. You know that. - And if there’s one thing me and Dean have learnt over the years, it’s that sometimes we build our own families. - Like Bobby says, family don’t end with blood. Or grace in your case."

"I…I just don’t think I have the strength to fall that far Sam." Cas sighed, reclaiming his seat on the end of the bed.

"You’ve already took a big leap when you sided with us. - _With Dean_. You know Dean’s right, they’re going to punish you for helping us whether your with Dean or not. Just for taking his side in the first place. At least spend that time together. Make it worth something."

Cas sat silently running over Sam’s words. As much as he wanted to believe he still had a place in heaven, that they would understand and welcome him back, he could feel his grace slipping away day by day. The brothers were right, whether they succeeded in defeating Lucifer or not, he was never going to be welcome back in heaven. And the search for his father, has so far proved fruitless. His father didn’t seem to want to stop this, didn’t care enough to stop this. And if he didn’t care about protecting earth and ruling heaven, if he was allowing Michael and Lucifer to destroy his creation, then would he really care if Cas took this one thing. He’d already betrayed heaven in questioning orders, in siding with Dean. - In _loving_ Dean. What did it really matter if he choice to be bound to the hunter for eternity. Weren’t they already? From the moment Cas had touched Dean, fought to bring him back, they’d been connected. He hadn’t meant for it to happen. And while he’d gotten used to his feelings for Dean, he hadn’t known the man had shared them. Knowing that now filled him with a strange sensation. A sense of hope, a faith he hadn’t realised he’d lost.

But he was scared. He hated to admit it, but it was true. He’d heard the stories about the others, the angel that had rebelled against Heaven and fallen in love with mortals. He had shivered in disgust and fear, never understanding how an angel could turn away from the beauty of heaven. He hadn’t understood why Anna had wanted this so badly. - Until now. Until Dean.

Cas got to his feet gracefully. "I must go."

"Cas, what about Dean?" Sam asked quickly.

The angel was gone without an answer, the air shifting as he vanished from Sam’s sight. The hunter slouched in his seat, rubbing at his eyes. Already envisioning the tension that was going to come from Cas’s refusal. Of the mood Dean was going to be in when he finally return.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean sat in the driver’s seat of the Impala, his head resting against the wheel, his eyes closed to the world as he scolded himself a fool. He should have listened to Sam. His brother understood this stuff better than him. He’d had the long term relationship. What did Dean know about any of it? He’d only been in love once before, and things with Cassie hadn’t worked out any better. Maybe he was just meant to be alone? Maybe it was just another level of punishment for all he did in hell. And what a punishment it was. Falling in love, and he was pretty sure that’s what it was, with his guardian angel slash best friend, only friend really, only for said angel not to feel the same.

Dean was tempted to drive back to the bar they’d been in the previous night and find that good looking blonde that had hit on him, but just the thought of it turned his stomach. He’d really lost the desire for casual sex. He wanted more, especially with the end almost upon them. Was it too much to ask for a little normality for whatever time they had left?

Dean took a deep breath and lifted his head from the wheel, rubbing his hand down his face warily. He couldn’t hold it against Cas for wanting his family back. If the situation was reversed he’d probably feel the same. It just hurt was all. He’d convinced himself that Cas would be happy with the idea, that he’d jump at the chance to be with him. He’d figured that Cas’s blind loyalty to heaven had vanished when he chosen to help him. "Guess I was wrong." He sighed, slumping low in his seat and staring at the motel in front of him. The stress of everything he’d gone through the last few days weighed down on him and before he even realised it, he was drifting off to sleep.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

It took Cas a lot longer than he expected to find the man perfect for the task. He’d over looked a hundred priest and vicars and pastors, looked into their hearts, saw where they’re loyalties laid. It had taken him a long while to find the man he now stood before.

"Pastor David Gideon?"

"Yes. And who are you?"

"I’m an angel of the lord." Cas announced.

"Yeah, sure you are." Gideon sighed, turning back to the path he was taking.

Cas didn’t have time for this. He knew Dean, if he didn’t fix this now he’d never ask again, and the trust and friendship they’d forged would be shattered. He didn’t want that. Dean was all he had left, he wouldn’t lose him over something he truthfully really did want. So Cas reached out his hand, gripping the man shoulder.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean leapt out of his skin at the sudden pounding on his car window, his head snapping up to stare out at the darkness and his brother’s face staring back at him. He moaned as he righted himself, leaning forward to lower the window.

"You coming inside or you planning to sleep out here for the rest of the night?"

Dean rubbed at his eyes. "How long have I been out?"

"Only about an hour. I thought you’d gone to the bar down the street."

"I was tempted." Dean sighed, winding up the window before opening the door. "Has he gone?"

Sam just nodded, but Dean could see the sympathy in his puppy dog look.

"Good. Lets get some sleep and get the hell out of here." Dean murmured marching back to their room.

Despite announcing that he wanted to sleep and split down, Dean wound up sat on the couch with a bottle of beer warming in his hand, staring down at a book for no other reason than needing something to do.

"Dean are you….?"

"Don’t Sammy. I don’t want to talk about it."

Sam nodded again and settled on the other end of the couch, his laptop on his lap, his fingers moving over the keys.

Dean lifted his beer to his lips, cringing at the warmth as it slipped over his tongue. Lowering the bottle to the table he got out of his seat and headed for the fridge to fetch a fresh one, when the familiar sound of air moving drew his attention. His head snapped around as Cas appeared. With him a priest. Dean sent Sam a questioning look, but the younger hunter just shrugged.

"What the hell was that?" the strange gasped, looking around with panicked eyes.

"This is pastor David Gideon." Cas informed them.

"Okay." Dean frowned. "And he’s here because?"

"We’ll need him."

"For?"

Cas’s brows furrowed at Dean with that ‘your being an idiot’ look he liked to throw around on bad days. "To perform the marriage rites."

Dean’s mouth fell open with surprises, as did the pastors.

"I…what?"

"You’re a devote man, but you have the good sense to question. - And you hold no prejudice against homosexual couples." Cas informed the man matter-of-factly. "The perfect man to over see our marriage."

"Uh, Cas." Dean interrupted. "What happened to you being excommunicated and shit?"

"You and Sam were right. Heaven’s never going to take me back." Cas met Dean’s gaze, locking firmly. "Their not my family Dean. - You are."

The corner of Dean’s lip quirked. "Nice to see you’ve come to your sense." he said lightly. "So I’ll take this…." he gestured to the pastor. "…is you accepting my proposal?"

Cas nodded. "Yes Dean. If you still….?"

"He very much wants to still." Sam jumped in, a wide goofy grin on his face.

"I can speak for myself, thanks Sammy."

"Does someone what to tell me what I’m doing here. - And what…."

"He’s an angel, I’m not, and you’re here to perform a marriage ceremony." Dean said, looking over at the man.

"That’s….I can’t…." he looked at the three men. "That’s impossible. An angel can’t marry a mortal. He’ll be…."

"We know, padre. Fallen angel, kicked out of the country club, we’re all aware."

Gideon looked at Dean with wide eyes. "But your….both…." he turned to Cas.

"You do not have a problem with our sexuality Pastor Gideon, I know you don’t. I searched your heart. You believe that we are all equal. So I can only assume that my gender is not the issue."

"You’re an angel."

"A poor example of one." Cas murmured, dropping his gaze guiltily.

Dean stepped forward, his hand resting on the man’s shoulder. "Buddy, having met the others, I disagree and so would everyone else." he glanced over at Sam who nodded in agreement. "You’ve done more for humanity in the last year, than heaven has done in a thousand. Stop selling yourself short."

Cas looked up through his lashes, a small smile pulling at his eyes. "You are bias Dean."

"How so?" Dean asked with a raised brow.

"You intend to marry me. There by your feeling cloud your judgement."

Dean smirked. "So what’s his excuse?" he nodded behind him at Sam.

"He is your brother. He’d agree with you because he wants you to be happy."

"He has a point. - But I swear Cas, I’m not taking his side because I want you to take him off my hands. He’s honestly right about this."

"Excuse me….can we get back to me performing this ceremony."

The three turned to stare at him.

"Okay Sir, listen. I know this is a little….unorthodox." Sam said, rushing forward.

" _Unorthodox_?" he scoffed. "Understatement."

"Okay but just don’t look at this as marrying a mortal and an angel, just see that they care deeply for each other. And believe me considering my brother, it’s a miracle that he even admit to loving anyone at all, let alone it being for another guy. Trust me, I never saw that one coming in a million years. So that just proves that it’s real right? So just do this for them, okay. Cause frankly….." he looked at his brother and Cas, seeing the embarrassment and surprise in their faces. "…this could very well be their only chance. They could both be dead in a month, so please."

"Dead?"

"Yeah, we all could be." Dean clarified.

"I don’t know. It would being going against heaven." Gideon looked at the pair nervously.

"Trust me padre, they really don’t give a damn."

"Pardon?"

Dean stepped forward. "They want this whole planet to burn, they don’t give a damn about what we measly human’s want, so why should we give a damn what they want."

"What are you talking about?" Gideon looked confusingly between the three strangers.

"Dean, maybe we shouldn’t." Sam shook his head.

"If he’s going to marry us, he deserves to know the truth." Dean said firmly, before turning back to the pastor. "I’m talking about the apocalypse. It’s here. Surely you’ve notice all the strange activity in the news. Freak weather, mysterious unexplained deaths. And you know why? Because Heaven doesn’t give a damn. - Except for Cas." he smiled over at his friend. "Cas, me and Sam are trying to stop this. Trying to save the world one day at a time, just like we’ve been doing for years, without a word of thanks. But you know what, this time I want something. I want a prize."

"That’s…insane."

"Maybe, but it’s also true." Sam sighed.

"I need to sit down." Gideon murmured, staggering to the nearest chair.

"Perhaps you should not have told him Dean."

Dena just shrugged; watching the man sit and stare at the table top blindly.

"You okay Pastor? Do you want a drink?" Sam fussed.

"No." the man shook his head. "So this is it? The end?"

"Not if we’ve got anything to say about it." Dean murmured, strolling over to retake his seat, nodding for Cas to join him.

"And you think you can stop it?" Gideon frowned.

"We’re going to do our best, or die trying."

"But you want to marry each other….anyway. Knowing that it might not last? That you could both go to hell for this?"

"Father believe me, we’re pretty sure we’re all heading there anyway, for one reason or another."

The man sat forward, pressing his head into his palms. Dean, Cas and Sam watching him nervously. When he finally looked up, his face told them his decision before his lips did. "Alright." he nodded and smiled at them.

Dean smiled back, before turning to look at Cas.

 


	3. I Would Fall From Grace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Lyric from Heat of the Moment by Asia.

The ceremony wasn’t that long or intense. It was just a exchanging of words and rings. Sam stood fighting a goofy grin, recording the whole thing on his phone to send to Bobby, Ellen and Jo later. When Cas slid the ring onto Dean’s finger, the hunter inhaled sharply, as if it burnt him. And when Dean place the ring on Cas’s hand, his own shook. Sam was right, none of them ever expected this to be happening in a million years. Dean felt another weight lift from him.

Gideon had pronounced them married, adding "You may kiss the….each other."

The pair stared at one another nervously.

"Do we….now?"

Gideon frowned. "It is part of the ceremony. Have you two not…."

Before the pastor could finish the question, Cas leant in and pressed his lips to Dean’s. The hunters eyes widened with surprise before falling closed.

Dean wasn’t going to deny that it was probably the weirdest sensation he’d ever experience, kissing another guy. Especially one who’s designer stubble was worst than his own. The chafing alone was going to be a bit of a problem. But it felt good, calming. He’d expected himself to cringe, to pull away when the time came, because as Sam was so keen on reminding him there was a large difference between fantasy and reality. So it was more than a surprise to find that he was actually enjoying it. His hand moving to rest firmly on the back of Cas’s neck. It wasn’t a deep open mouthed kiss, but there was time for that later, this was just them getting used to each other, while confirming their commitment.

A cough drew them apart, and Dean’s gaze instantly shifted to Sam who was holding out his mobile, capturing every second of their first kiss. Dean narrowed his stare. "Shut that thing off, Sam." he demanded.

"But Dean, Everyone’s going to want to see this."

"Off."

Grumbling Sam lowered his phone, slipping it into his pocket. Dean turned his attention back to Cas to find the man talking to Gideon.

"Thank you very much Pastor."

"Yeah, thanks." Dean added, holding out his hand to the man.

"It was my pleasure." the man nodded.

"I will return you home." Cas announced, stepping forward. "I shell not be long Dean."

"Okay. Oh, wait…." Dean walked over to his jacket, pulling a card out of his wallet. "Here, if you need us for anything, you know….unexplained, just call."

Gideon took the card with a nod. "I will. - Good luck with saving the world."

Dean and Sam nodded as the air shifted and the pair were gone.

"He think’s we’re crazy, you know. He probably just performed the ceremony out of fear we were going to kill him if he didn’t." Sam said, staring at the empty space.

"Who cares, we got what we wanted. - And he’ll call when he realises we weren’t making it up and the bad shit is banging at his door." Dean murmured, strolling over to the couch and dropping down heavily. His fingers playing absently with the ring.

"So Mr Angel of the Lord, I suppose you want me to split for the night?" Sam smirked.

Dean looked up at him with wide eyes and a flush to his cheeks. "Yeah, if either of us is changing his name, it’s Cas." he smirked, rolling the name around in his head, before it slid off his tongue. "Castiel Winchester. - definitely has a ring to it."

"Listen Dean, you don’t have to jump into anything tonight you know."

Dean frowned up at his brother. "Huh, what now?"

"Dean, you know what I’m saying. It’s not like Cas is going to care."

Dean turned away from his brother, heat surging through his face.

"Care about what?" Cas’s deep rough voice filled the room and Dean felt the heat from his face spread south.

"Uh…" Sam gapped. Looking between his brother and new brother-in-law. Yeah, that was definitely going to take some getting used to. "…I…I was just leaving, give you two some space." he grinned. "Dean, remember what I said, okay. No rush." with that he grabbed his jacket, the keys to the Impala and rushed out of the room.

Cas stared after him with a confused frown, but then human’s confused him constantly. Even Dean on occasion. He turned back to stare at Dean, his….what was he….partner? Husband? Human’s were so picky about such things. Cas was still contemplating the question when Dean turned.

"Hey, what’s wrong? - You’re not having second thoughts are you?"

Cas looked up. "No. I was just wondering what I’m to call you?"

Dean smirked. "Call me?"

Cas inclined his head. "Yes."

Dean thought back to what he’d been saying to Sam. "Well, if you think I’m changing my name to Angel of the Lord, not happening."

The crease in Cas’s brows deepened. "Why would I expect that? You are not an angel."

"That’s for sure." Dean chuckled, a flirtaous smile.

"I was considering the chose of term concerning our new relationship." Cas said, seemingly ignoring Dean smirk.

"English Cas. Plan simple English."

"What am I to call you? Husband or partner?"

Dean’s chest tightened at the question, his heart beginning to race as he leant back against the edge of the table, arms folded over his chest. "Well, we are married, and guys, so I guess the term is husband."

Cas nodded.

The room fell into an strangely awkward silence. They’d never been awkward around each other before. Not like this. It had been a little strange back when they’d first met, when Cas was still the all and power Oz threatening to throw him back in the pit, when the feeling Dean carried didn’t make sense and made his uncomfortable. But over time that awkwardness had faded. Now it was back and Dean didn’t like it. He hated it in fact.

"So….I guess we should…." he chewed his lips. "…it’s customary to…." he’d never been a bumbling idiot in his life, why the hell was he starting now?

"Consummate the union." Cas said matter-of-factly, cool and calm.

Dean’s gaze snapped up to lock with his friends. Cause that’s what he was, first and foremost. In Dean’s head Cas was his friend, husband, angel.

"So how do we….?"

Dean’s eyes widened. "You don’t know?"

Cas dropped his gaze, his hand nervously reaching up to rub the back of his neck in an uncharacteristic show of insecurity.

Dean couldn’t help but smirk, just a little. "You’re telling me you never been up there doing a little cloud seeding?"

"Look, I’ve never had occasion okay." Cas murmured, his gaze locked on the wall behind Dean’s head.

Dean took a step forward, his lips pressed into a thin line as he fought not to grin. "Well I never thought I’d marry a virgin." he chuckled.

Cas turned to glare at him. "Well at least you’re experienced."

There was something in Cas’s tone that made Dean’s stomach clench. He’d been on the receiving end of that tone before, mostly in high school. He’d never cared for jealousy, especially from girls he’d never made any promises to. - But Cas was different. He had a claim, and Dean knew it. Even as he slept around after returning from hell, he’d known something felt wrong. He’d first felt it with Jamie, but he’d shrugged it off as awkwardness after so many months out of the saddle. But it hadn’t faded and when he’d slept with Anna, it had made him feel….sick, truth be told. Especially when he had to face Cas only hours later. He could still see the look in the angel’s eyes when Anna kissed him that final time. After that he’d stopped trying to hook-up. He told himself they had too much to deal with, that he had to keep focused on saving the world and Sam. But he knew that had just been a lie, he just didn’t want to see that look in Cas’s eyes again. He didn’t want the sense of betrayal that followed him into a strangers arms.

Dean closed the space between them, looking down at his angel. "Cas?" he sighed when the angel didn’t meet his gaze. He reached out on instinct, his hand cupping Cas’s jaw just below his ear. He took a slow, deep breath before closing the gap further. The first kiss had already been taken out of his hand, this time he was in control. His heart hammered furiously against his ribs, he swallowed his nervousness, before lowing his mouth to Cas’s. He pulled back just a few inches. "Cas, relax." he whispered huskily. He waited for the angel’s posture to slacken before lowering his mouth once more.

Usually Dean would have ploughed on into a deep passionate make-out session but he was in no hurry to move this forward, he wanted to take his time, partly out of nervousness, partly to savour each second. When Cas mirrored him, his palm pressing against the skin beneath his ear, Dean lost his patients. The heat of the hand swamping his whole body. He draw his lips back enough to nip at Cas’s lower lip, feeling a shiver pass through him as the angel moaned. He drove forward once more, sucking on the lip, his tongue sweeping the seam till instincts he wouldn’t have expected his angel to have had him opening up to him.

Their tongues battle, the space between them vanishing as Dean pulled him close. Their kiss becoming surprisingly desperate. Dean had never expected to feel this intense need or desire, or the heat that flooded him at Cas’s touch. All doubts disappeared. His hands tugged at Cas’s trench coat, and suit jacket, forcing them off his shoulder to pool on the floor at their feet. Dean moved to Cas’s tie, when he felt the pull on his own shirt. He dropped his hands, allowing Cas’s to drag the dark blue fabric off his shoulders, before the man’s fingers dropped to the hem of his black t-shirt, curling into the thin fabric and dragging it up to reveal the tanned flesh beneath. Dean help get rid of the clothing before turning his attention to Cas’s tie and shirt.

With Cas stood shirtless before him, he had to take a moment. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected, he’d kinda figured that Cas was all skin and bones under the layers, but he wasn’t. He muscles were subtle but defined beneath pale skin. Experimentally he brushed his fingertip over the flesh, from collar to naval and heard his heart skip, his groin twitching with interest. He crashed his mouth to the angel’s once more, hungrily devouring it. His hands dropping to Cas’s hips, dragging them flush against his and groaning at the hardened arousal that met his own. Dean snapped his hips forward, determined to get a moan of pleasure from the angel and grinned arrogantly when he got it.

Cas seemed so unsure of himself and the situation that he simply mirrored everything Dean was doing. His hands settling on the waistband of the hunters jeans, his hips shifting forward to meet Dean’s thrusts.

"Aahhh Go…." Dean moaned breathlessly before slammed his lips closed over the word. Suddenly all to conscious of who he was grinding up against. He swore he felt a rumble in Cas’s chest and pulled back to look at the man. "Are you laughing?"

"No." Cas replied breathlessly, his head shaking.

Dean narrowed his eyes.

Cas’s lips curved just a little, a small smile that was barely there. One Dean always loved to see because it was like a secret between them. "I understand Dean."

Dean’s brows furrowed. "Huh?"

"The blasphemy. I understand."

Dean’s lips pulled in a thin line, his gaze narrowing once again as he leant into Cas’s face.

"It could be seen as a prayer." Cas added huskily, which considering how deep his voice already was did nothing for Dean’s control. "Thanking my father for the unique gift he’s given you?" his gaze dropping to the firm curve of Dean’s lips.

"A gift? Sex or you?"

"It’s not the sex Dean, it the pure beauty that comes from it. The connecting of two soul."

"I love it when you talk all philosophically." Dean chuckled, pulling Cas back into a slow heated kiss.

Dean pulled away after a few more moments, his gaze shifting over Cas’s shoulder where he noticed the motel room curtains still open. Slipping past Cas he strolled over to them, lifting his arms to tug them shut, this wasn’t a five dollar peep show. As he moved to close them he caught sight of the Impala, Sam sat in the front seat. Dean frowned for a moment, wondering why his brother was still out there. When Sam met his gaze with a concerned questioning look, he knew. He was there in case Dean chicken out. It made Dean laugh, because it so easily could have gone that way, if not for the fact that he was so completely into this. A bright smug grin spread across his lips and he quickly gave Sam an excited double thumbs up and a wink before yanking the curtains closed, knowing Sam probably wanted to barf.

He turned back to find Cas watching him, shirtless and flushed. His hair was even more in disarray that usual, and his lips more swollen. The sight sent a hot wave of lust through Dean. It took him a moment to adjust to these new feelings. After all until now he’d always thought himself one hundred percent straight. One hundred percent not attracted to guys. _What a difference a day makes._ He thought to himself as he took a slow walk back to his angel. He stopped in front of the man and grazed his thumb over his swollen lower lip. He knew they should talk about how this was going to go. Things had to be decided. _Things had to be decided? What things?_

"Dean?"

Cas’s voice drew him back to the moment. Dean shook his head and smiled at the angel. An electrifying tension settling between them.

"We don’t have to do this Dean." Cas murmured uncertainly.

Dean stared at him for a long silent moment before cupping his jaw and taking his mouth again, their bodies pressed tight together from chest to pelvis. He stumbled them towards the bed, his lips never leaving Cas. His hands sliding down to fumble with the angel’s belt and pants, which slid off as they moved, leaving a trail behind them. When Cas’s legs hit the back of the bed, Dean lowered them both onto the mattress before straightening to remove his jeans. His heart pounded manically in his chest, blood rushing through his ears. He kicked the denims away leaving him just in his black boxers. He stared down at Cas and couldn’t stop the laugh that burst from his chest at the sight of his tighty-whities.

"I think we’re going to have to do something about these." Dean murmured, slipping a finger into the waist band.

Cas frowned looking down at the underwear. "Is there something wrong with them?"

Dean pressed one knee into the bed besides Cas’s thigh, leaning back down into the angel’s personal space. "Just that there not very attractive."

"They’re underwear Dean, they server a function, why must they be attractive?" he asked seriously.

Dean rolled his eyes as he leaned in closer, his lips hovering. He moved to slip his whole hand beneath the waist band but found himself froze, his hand trembling slightly. He looked at Cas, who stared back at him, his brows furrowed with confusion. A feeling Dean shared. He wanted this, he knew he wanted this, but there was still that part of him yelling that he wasn’t gay, despite everything he was feeling.

He didn’t know why Cas did it and to say it was a surprise was an understatement, but before Dean knew what was happening Cas had closed the gap between their mouths, the kiss was brutal and filled with a heat and intensity he hadn’t known could exist. Suddenly he was on his back, Cas above him. Dean blindly guided his angel to straddle his hips, causing their groins to press together. Dean groaned deep in his throat, his fingers biting deep into the other man’s waist, pulling him down as he thrust up. The angel’s palms were laying against Dean’s chest, where he’d used them to roll the hunter onto his back. While they kiss and ground against each other, Cas’s hands shifted over the heated flesh, one slipping to cup Dean’s neck, while the other was drawn to his shoulder and the brand that had been there since his resurrection. The moment Cas’s palm fitted against the scared tissue Dean gasp. Warmth flooding his whole being. The hunter abandoned Cas’s hips to tangle his fingers in the thick mass of hair, tugging at it as the warmth blazed to life.

Their movements became erratic and messy, both hearts pounding insanely against each other. From there, there was no hesitation, not doubt. Dean was solely focused on that he wanted. "Cas…we…need….Cas…I…have….to…." Dean panted between kisses before surrendering all attempts to talk and simply used his weight to roll them over, trapping Cas beneath his body for a few moment before forcing himself off of the angel to rush to his duffle. He yanked it angrily from beneath the bed and riffled through the small amount of clothing and personal items till he found what he’d been looking for. Straightening he met Cas’s gaze.

"What…."

Dean looked at the tube in his hand. "It’s for…."

"I know what it is Dean. I just wanted to know why….."

Dean stared at his angel, his heart skipping as Cas turned away from him to stare up at the ceiling. "Huh…" he looked at his hand once more. "…I haven’t…I mean I haven’t been with…anyone in….months." he said quickly but quietly, slightly embarrassed for some reason. He rushed back to the bed and looked down at the angel who wouldn’t meet his gaze.

"It is fine Dean. You had no obligation to remain celibate. Your debauchery does not affect your role as the righteous man."

"Debauchery?" Dean snapped, glaring at the half naked angel. "My debauchery? Well, Mr I’m-as-pure-as-the-driven-snow, you’re looking pretty debauched right now."

Cas dropped his gaze to meet Dean’s, pushing himself up to sit on the edge of the bed. A shameful flush coating his cheeks. He didn’t say anything, his just sat there with his hands folded in his lap. Dean bit his lips guiltily. How had they gone from making out and dry humping to arguing? Because that’s just how they were. Best of friends on minutes, mortal enemies the next. - Okay maybe that was an exaggeration.

Dean lowered himself onto the edge of Sam’s bed with a wary sigh. "Some wedding night this is turning out to be."

"I think perhaps I should leave." Cas said standing to gather his clothes.

"No! Don’t you dare Cas. I mean it." Dean snapped, shooting up to block the angel’s path.

"Dean, we are clearly not ready for…." he was cut short by Dean’s mouth on his again.

The kiss was slow. Dean trying to communicate just what he was feeling. All nervous energy, doubt and emotions he wasn’t even sure he could name they were so new to him. Dean blindly threw the tube in the direction of the bed before pressing his hands into Cas’s hips. His fingers slipping beneath the waistband of the white underwear, easing them down over the man’s hips and buttocks, till gravity took over and the item dropped to the carpet. The hunter inhaled sharply as Cas mirrored his actions once again and his own underwear lay at his feet. There was another sharp breath as their erections brushed briefly. The heat it sent through Dean had his mind spinning. He walked Cas back the few inches to the bed where he lowered him back onto the mattress, hissing at the contacts of the aroused bodies. He felt Cas tremble under his hands and pulled back to looked down at him reassuringly.

"Relax Cas. We’ll take this slow. It’s new to both of us." he breathed.

"Not exactly Dean." Cas swallowed his pounding heart.

Dean frowned. "Huh?"

"You are not inexperienced."

"I’ve never done this with a guy Cas."

"But you _have_ done this." Cas insisted meaningfully.

Dean looked at him. Sure he’d done it with a girl once or twice, when they’d asked but…that wasn’t the same.

"I have no experience at all, except for what I have observed during my long existence."

Dean stared down at him. He was right, kinda. They weren’t on the same level here. He worried his lips as he watched the angel. His mind spinning in a thousand directions.

"It is not important Dean." Cas said, his hand cupping the hunters neck.

"It is Cas." Dean whispered, his whole body beginning to shake as his mind reeled down a path he never expected himself to go.

Taking a slow deep breath Dean lowered himself down next to Cas on the bed. "Okay Cas. We’re going through this together." he heard himself say. "First time for both of us."

"Dean?" Cas frowned.

"Your doing this."

"I don’t understand?"

Dean shifted on the bed, moving himself high while reaching for a pillow, then the tube. He settled the pillow beneath his head, and handed the tube to Cas. The angel looked from Dean to the tube and back again.

"Dean, this is not what yo…"

"It is."

"Dean…."

Dean lunged forward, crushing his lips hard against Cas’s. He pulled back after a second and stared in the bright blue eyes. "Do you want to do this?" he asked quietly.

"Dean I…." he swallowed.

"Do. You. Want. To. Do. This?"

Cas took a shaky breath and nodded slightly.

"Then trust me when I say I want this too." Dean whispered, moving back in to kiss Cas gently. "Do you know what to do?"

Cas pulled back, shifting his body so he’s kneeling between Dean’s spread thighs. He can hear Dean’s heart racing, and feel his own galloping at the same pace. "I think so." he nodded and flipped the top of the tube, squeezing a small amount onto his finger.

"More than that Cas"

Cas followed Dean’s directions, glancing up as he coated his fingers till Dean nodded it was enough. Dean lifted his legs so as to brace his feet against the bed, spreading them apart. He took a calming breath and waited, his fingers curled into the pillow beneath his head, his eyes closed.

When there was no movement from Cas he looked down at the man, who just stood there looked at him. "Come on Cas. I said I’m alright." he snapped a little out of frustration. The wait was making it worse.

"Dean."

"Cas for go…goodness sake, I said it…"

"Dean, I believe this might be….more beneficial if you turn over."

"Huh?" Dean’s head shot up from the pillow.

"I believe you should turn over Dean."

Dean just gaped at him for a moment, before shaking his head to clear away the shock. "Right, huh, yeah." he shifted over onto his stomach, raising up onto his knees and presenting his ass to Cas. He’d never felt so awkward in his life. Not even when he lost his virginity. Which he guessed he was about to do all over again. Kinda.

"Dean are you sure you wish to processed. I would be perfectly…."

Dean shot the angel a look over his shoulder. "Cas, can we please stop debating this and just consummate this damn wedding night."

Cas glared at him. "If you are going to…."

"Cas. Stop talking and start fucking for god sake, or I swear I’m filing for divorce."

He didn’t know if it was anger or frustration but Cas jumped in swiftly with both feet. Or fingers as the case may be. Dean gasped but was surprised to find that it wasn’t as painfully as he’d expected. He bit his lips at the discomfort and shifted on his knees as he felt the two digits moving within him. He could feel Cas’s other hand on his lower back, a warmth seeping through his whole body. It took him too long to realise what the angel was doing. Easing the pain. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all. Then he felt more pressure on his internal muscles as Cas inserted another fingers and he question that moment of reassurance.

"Dean?"

"It’s fine. It’s good." he wasn’t sure if he was lying or not. He couldn’t say he felt completely at ease with the situation, and if he was honest he questioned how anyone could find this a turn on. He knew how good it could feel from the other side, but this was really not all it was cracked up to be.

Then a white spark of pleasure shot through his entire body, his mind exploding. "Ahhh fuck!" he yelled, his body jolting forward. "What the hell!" he looked over his shoulder to Cas with wide surprised eyes.

Cas looked silently smug. "I know human anatomy Dean." he stated matter-of-factly. "I know what parts of the body will result in pleasure."

Dean panted, his eyes narrowed as he met Cas’s blue eyes. Cas’s fingers continued to work at the muscles, while sporadically hitting whatever it was that set Dean’s flesh on fire and his body shaking.

Dean dropped his head onto the pillow, glancing briefly down at himself. His breathe hitched at seeing just how hard he’d become in the past few minutes. He’s been semi turned on just from kissing and rutting with Cas, but it had started to wane when they’d switched positions. Now it felt like a lead weight between his legs. Shifting once more on his knees. - which were beginning to ache. - he moved his arms so he could grip himself. He was just taking hold of his throbbing length when he let out a moan of protest as Cas’s fingers vanished. Once more his head snapped around to stare at his friend slash husband, to find Cas working the glistening lube over himself. Dean couldn’t tear his eyes away. His hand froze against his dick. "Fuck." he heard himself whisper and then Cas was looking at him as he continued to stoke. Dean almost lost, his breath hitching further and his heart beat quickened. "Cas." he groaned; his voice filled with lust.

The angel didn’t need to be told what Dean wanted, he could feel it humming through the man’s being. Cas moved back to position himself behind Dean, once again placing the flat palm of his left hand on the small of the man’s back, before easing himself forward. Both their breathing faltering at the invasion of the man’s body. His free hand dropped to grip Dean’s hip as he carefully thrust deeper, listening to the hunter’s moans that he recognised as pleasure. Though they were more intense than the sounds he’d heard from the man before. He Hadn’t spied on Dean while he was with women, not because he wasn’t curious, but because it had hurt to see it. But he’d heard him, sometimes.

When he was fully sheathed, he paused, probably longer than he should have if Dean’s irritated, breathless groan of his name was an indicator. When he finally began to move it was slow and easy. He savoured each moment, reviling in the sensations wracking his body as Dean’s clapped down around his erection. Moans drawn from his throat second by second. Dean’s voice ringing blissfully in his ear. Cas could feel the pressure building within him, new and so unexpected. It was one thing to know the anatomy of the body he now called his own, it was another to actually feel every sensation.

Dean grunted out half formed words as Cas’s knowledge was put to expert use. His body rocking forward with each thrust of the angel’s hips. He curled his fingers into the pillow, having already tried to stroke himself towards orgasm. But his brain and body weren’t in sync and he couldn’t get the rhythm. So now he just closed his eyes and drowned in the moment, his heart thundering in his chest and his blood racing through his veins, making his flesh burn.

"Swe-et lord….Cas…." he paused, sucking in much needed air. "….faster."

Cas quickened his pace. His hands, now both gripping Dean’s hips firmly, pulling him back into each forward motion.

"Fuck!" Dean grunted, his forehead pressed into the pillow. "More. - faster. - Haaaa-rder."

The angel didn’t even pause, he did as Dean pleaded, snapping his pelvis, burying himself deeper and deeper, hitting that small bundle of nerves that had Dean yelling.

"Ooooh Goood, yes. Yes. J-just t-t-there."

Cas remained silent but for a few quiet groans and the heaviness of his breathing, until Dean internal muscles closed up around him as the hunter came untouched, then a deep rumbling cry was ripped from Cas’s throat as the angel followed him over the edge. His body trembling through his first orgasm.

 

　


	4. Hit Me With Your Best Shot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from the song of the same name by Pat Benatar

Dean collapsed onto his stomach, breathless and drenched in sweat. He took it all back; he could totally see why people like it. He felt amazing. Sure he ached all over, but he didn’t remember having sex that good in his life. And he’d had enough for a comparison. He turned his head to see Cas sat on the edge of the bed silently. "Hey."

Cas turned to meet his gaze, his usually hurricane-blown hair sticking to his forehead.

"You okay?"

Cas nodded. "I’m well."

Dean clenched his jaw as he turned onto his back, lifting his upper body onto his elbows. "Cas? - Didn’t you…enjoy it?" he frowned, his heartbeat galloping.

"It was very pleasurable Dean. Thank you."

Dean’s brows shot to his hair line. "Thank you? Dude, you don’t thank someone for sex. Well you do, I guess but not…." he shook his head. "Look if you didn’t like it just say so. There’s no rule saying you have to."

Cas frowned. "I’ve said I liked it."

"Then what’s with the…." he waved his hand at Cas’s general demeanour. "….ice angel routine?"

"I don’t understand what you mean."

Dean huffed and moved to sit up, cringing a little at the discomfort in his back and ass. "You’re acting like it didn’t mean anything." he said coldly.

"It meant a great deal Dean."

Dean scoffed. "Yeah, sure." he got to his feet and went in search of his underwear, stepping into them without looking at the angel.

"Dean, why are you upset? I said I enjoyed copulating."

" _Copulating_?" Dean snapped. "That wasn’t….shit Cas, I know you didn’t exactly get a how to be human handbook but jeez. - That was sex okay. Hell it may have even been…." he shook his head, unable to voice the words. "…more than sex! - I‘m going to go wash up."

Cas watched Dean vanish into the bathroom with a confused frown. He didn’t know exactly what he’d done to upset the hunter, and as usually Dean refused to talk. Cas felt his own anger take a grip. If Dean was going to be angry at him, he wanted to know why. Pushing himself to his feet he marched determinedly towards the bathroom. Dean was already in the shower.

"Dean."

"Cas I’ll be out in a…."

Cas didn’t wait for him to finish, stepping into the shower behind Dean. "Why are you angry?"

Dean spun around to stare at the angel. "Cas, we’ll talk about this when…."

" _No_ , we will talk _now_!" The angel demanded firmly, his featured schooled, his arms hanging at his side as the warm water of the shower pooled at his feet.

"Look, I just….I’m used to….." Dean ran his hand through his damp hair. "…different okay."

"I am aware that you are unfamiliar with homo…."

"No. Not that. I mean yeah that was new, and fucking…..I meant after."

Cas‘s dark brows drew together.

Dean sighed, turning his back on the angel to bury his face in the water. "It doesn’t matter."

"Dean." Cas scolded. "It clearly does matter."

There was a long drawn out silence as Dean stared at the wall tiles, water covering his face. "Girls usually want to….I’m usually having to…." he wasn’t doing this right.

"Dean just tell me."

"They usually want to snuggle, okay. I’m used to snuggling." he spun to face his angel, his cheek blazing red. "I’m used to actual physical contact after sex. I’m not used to the other person pulling away and sitting silently like the whole thing had been a chore. Or thanking me like it had been some kind of service!" God he hated how much he sounded like a whiny little bitch. Seriously did one match as a receiver suck all of the masculine out of him or what?

"I don’t know what I’m doing Dean." Cas frowned, dropping his gaze to watch the water swirl over his toes. "This is _all_ new to me."

Dean groaned and rolled his eyes, guilt taking a large bite out of his innards. He lifted his hand to cradle Cas’s jaw, lifting his head to meet his gaze. "I’m sorry Cas. I didn’t…sometimes I forget how completely clueless you are."

Cas glared. "I’m not clueless." he snapped firmly.

"Not completely." Dean smirked pulling Cas closer and lowering his lips to the angel’s.

They stood kissing and touching each other for a while before Dean forced his attention back to cleaning himself and Cas. When they were both scrubbed of all evidence, and smelling like Dean’s shower gel, they climbed out, wrapped towels around their hips and left the bathroom. Cas leading the way. Dean watched the man bend to retrieve his clothes and felt his chest tighten. Cas was his now, just his. He could do whatever he wanted to him. Within reason. His gaze racked the curve of the man’s back as he bent, the pale skin his mouth hadn’t yet touched, but surprisingly desperately wanted to. Down to the swell of his ass hidden beneath a tatty towel. His feet were moving before he even made the decision, his own pile of abandoned clothing forgotten as he paused behind Cas, his hands reaching down to cover the non-existent curves. He smiled at the angel’s sharply inhaled breath as he straightened. Dean closed the space between their bodies, pressing his bare chest to Cas’s back, his hands slipping around to his abdomen. His palm flat. Dean dropped his lips to Cas’s shoulder, pressing his open mouth to the collar bone and nipping at the skin there. The angel let out a gentle moan, his head rolling back onto Dean’s shoulder. The hunter could feel the man’s racing heart and couldn’t help but grin.

As Dean continued to bite and suck a dark bruise he knew wouldn’t stay long onto Cas’s neck, his hand made a slow decent towards the towel. His fingers slipping beneath. The sudden intrusion easily caused the thing to lose its grip, and slid to the floor at Cas’s feet. Dean let out a hungry groan of his own. He lifted the hand from Cas’s hip and tugged at his own towel, leaving them both naked with Dean hardening erection pressing against the swell of ass. They both moaned in unison, both savouring the touch of naked arousal against heated flesh. The hand Dean had pressed against Cas’s lower abdomen shifted further down until he was able to wrap his rough callused fingers around the velvety-steel of Cas’s dick. His own twitching as he began stroke.

"Uh….Cas. - I can’t believe I’m doing….this." he moaned huskily into the angel’s ear.

"I…I don’t love you Dean."

Dean’s hand faltered and stopped, his eyes flying open to stare blindly at whatever was directly was in front of him. His stomach dropping to his toes. Cas frowned as he turned his head to see Dean’s slightly paled face. It took the angel longer than it should to realise how his words had sounded.

"I mean I’m not made to love you." he said quietly, his slightly dimmed blue eyes watching Dean closely. "I mean, I don’t love you because I have to."

Dean turned his head, meeting those blue eyes, his brows still furrowed.

"Angel’s are expected to love Dean. Love humanity."

"Huh, yeah, I can totally see that." Dean scoffed, his hand moving to pull away, only to be stopped by Cas’s fingers wrapping around his wrist, keeping it from abandoning him.

"Dean, I don’t love you like that. I….I wish I could explain it." Cas sighed. "There’s something different about you. About what I feel for you. It’s been there since the moment I laid a hand on you in hell. A profound bond. I don’t love you Dean. - It’s beyond that."

Dean’s breath caught in his throat, his gaze locked with the angel’s. "I…I wasn’t sure. I thought it was just me."

Cas shook his head. "It’s why heaven tried to separate us. It’s why I was dragged back."

Dean jaw tightened remembering those few days without Cas. Thinking he was never going to see him again but still having to look at his face. He wouldn’t go through that again. Unable to form words to express just how well he understood what his angel was saying to him, Dean went for the more practical demonstration, surging forward to capture the man’s lips. It was deep and hungry and did exactly what Dean needed it to. Telling Cas exactly how he felt. His hips pressed forward as he returned his hand to deliver firm strokes.

With his mouth still locked with Cas’s, and his hand working the man into a frenzy, Dean walked them back towards the bed. The action causing him to slip between Cas’s cheeks, sending a wave of pleasure through them both. Filling the room with hungry moans. As Cas’s feet stopped moving Dean opened his eyes briefly to see where they were before turning his lips to the angel’s ear.

"Cas." he whispered breathlessly, his heart pounding against the angel’s back.

"Yes…Dean…." the angel gasped, his back arching to press his hips back against the hunter.

"Aah, Cas….I…I want….."

"Yes." Cas panted, his hand rising to card through Dean’s hair. "I want you too."

A deep moan escaped Dean thought as he dove into another passionate kiss before pulling back to press open mouthed kisses along Cas’s shoulder and down his back. Groaning pathetically as Cas bends, bracing his weight on the end of the bed. - Sam’s bed, but right now, neither of them much cares. Dean lets out a whimper as he forces himself to pull away, rushing around the bed to collect the abandoned tube from the floor at the end of his bed. Returning to Cas, who hadn’t moved so much as an inch.

Dean’s probably a little over ambitious with the lube, but he’s excited, desperate and painfully aroused. And that’s likely why he doesn’t spend nearly as much time as he probably should. But he need to be inside Cas, buried deep. Showing the angel what a good chose he’d made in marrying him. When he curls his fingers, Cas’s almost leaps of the bed as he gasps and groans at the same moment. Dean can’t help but laugh. "Fucking awesome, right?"

Cas’s reply comes in the form of another gravely moan and his hips rolling back, chasing after Dean’s escaping fingers, unwilling to let them go. But he’s pulls out and drops the still slippery fingers to Cas’s hip, his nails biting possessively into the flesh, wishing not for the first time that he could mark the angel, like Cas had already marked him.

As his mind turns that thought over his body does what he knows how to do. Shifting forward and pressing caution, yet desperately into the tight ring of muscle. His heart leaping at the sounds being ripped from the angel’s throat. When Dean’s buried ball deep he waits. Let’s Cas adjust. Let’s himself adjust. This thumbs drawing circles on the angel’s hip as he tried to calm himself enough to concentrate, he wants this to be good. - For both of them. He wants to be able to remember every second.

Cas’s guttural moan of his name bring Dean back to the moment. With a firm hold on his angel, his lover, his husband, he pulls out slowly, groaning at the pressure clamping down around him. When he’s almost completely free of Cas, he slams back inside, causing Cas to rock forward, letting out a cry of surprise and ecstasy. Dean mirroring it.

Dean doesn’t hold back, he give Cas everything he’s got. It’s fast and hungry, and filled with everything heaven would consider sinful. Dean bites into Cas’s shoulder now and again, as he relentlessly bombards his body with thrust after thrust. Cas’s fingers are turning white as he grips onto the bed clothes. Almost inhuman noises tumbling out of the angel’s mouth. Dean slips a hand around from Cas’s hip to take hold of his steel hardened dick, it seems to burn Dean’s palm with its heat. He only has to give it a few firm tug before he feels it hard further, pulsing beneath his fingers.

"Come for me Cas. Come in my hand." he whispers huskily into Cas’s ear and then his fingers are wet again. Cas’s whole body shaking. The angel’s internal muscles clamping down in a vice-like grip on Dean till he doesn’t think he’ll be able to pull out ever again. Like they be stuck like this eternity. Surprisingly Dean doesn’t much care.

As Cas’s orgasm recedes Dean is able to move again, but he doesn’t need much more. One. Two. Three thrusts and he coming hard and fast. His heart is pounding so fast he thinks he may actually have a heart attack. Again, he really doesn’t care. There are worse ways to go. When he’s finally spent he gently pulls himself free of Cas’s overworked, no-longer-virginal ass and collapses on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as he tries to catch his breath. He drops his gaze to see Cas staring at the bedcovers. Turning his head Dean takes in the sight of the soiled sheets and laughs.

"Man, Sam’s going to kill me. I just broke rule number one." he looked back at Cas who was frowning at him. "No sex on each others bed." he pushed himself up off the blankets and gave them a tug, ripping them off to pool on the floor at Cas’s feet, before he crumbled back on the untouched sheets.

"Should we not clean this up before Sam get back?" Cas asked, frowning down at the dirty bedclothes.

Dean grinned and shook his head. "No point, he won’t be back tonight, he crash in the car, and we’re leaving town tomorrow." he sighed, making himself comfortable. "You okay?" he asked as he saw Cas shifting uncomfortably on his feet. "Was I too rough?"

Cas locked eyes with him. "No."

Dean pushed himself up on his elbows. "What then?"

"I’m….just a little." he wiggled his hips and Dean couldn’t help but laugh, rolling off the bed. "Where are you going?"

Dean vanished into the bathroom for a few seconds before returning with a damp washcloth. Marching over to Cas he pressed a kiss to his lips before dropping to his knees behind the angel. Slowly dragging the wet fabric up the insides of his thighs, between his cheeks, and over his abdomen. Wiping away all evidence of their seed. When he was satisfied it was all gone, he got to his feet and headed back into the bathroom, pausing a few more minutes to clean himself off.

He strolled back out with a relax and happy smirk on his face to see Cas sat awkwardly on the end of Sam’s bed. Dean didn’t say anything while he dropped down onto the mattress and stretched out. When he was settled he spoke. "If you’re uncomfortable you should lie down. Take the pressure off."

Cas turned to acknowledge before standing and primly walking around the bed to take the place next to Dean. He rested his back against the pillow, and folded his hands over his stomach. Dean glances over out of the corner of his eye and smirks to himself.

The nights activities - hell the days activities - have taken it out of him and before he knows it his eyelids are falling shut. Before sleep fully takes hold he mumbles. "Cas."

"Yes Dean."

"Don’t leave, okay."

"Yes Dean."

With that he give into the exhaustion.

Cas does as Dean asked, doesn’t leave, and doesn’t move from the place on the bed. He shuffles down till he’s lying beside Dean on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He feels strangely at peace, and settled from the first time since heaven sent him to hell to retrieve a soul. If someone had told him then that that soul would drag him away from heaven, would teach him what it really meant to love and belong. Show him the true meaning of loyalty and what it was to be human, he probably would have laughed. He’s been so blind for so long.

As he lay there contemplating what his existence had become, he felt the bed shift. Then there was a long heavy and tanned arm over his stomach. Dean’s body moving closer to his, pressing tight beside him. Cas released a slow breath and small smile pulling at the corners of his lips. This was his life now. Him and Dean together. Bond for eternity. Turning his head he watched Dean sleep for a few moments before remembering that Dean didn’t like that. Leaning forward he pressed his lips to Dean’s, who murmured something he didn’t understand, before turning onto his side away from the hunter, his husband. Dean’s arm tightening around Cas’s waist, pulling him flush against the man.

Cas didn’t need to sleep, didn’t feel exhaustion like human’s. Yet he felt his eyelids grow heavy and drift closed, pulling him into a dark, dreamless abyss.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean came around feeling groggy and disorientated. The only thing he was fully aware of was the warm body pressed to his front and his fingers knotted with someone else’s. He hadn’t slept so peacefully since his return from Hell, in fact he wasn’t sure he’d slept so well before that, with one thing or another weighing on his mind. He shifted closer into the warmth, his arm tightening around the solid form before him. He didn’t want to wake up fully, the in-between world was perfect, that sense of peace still gripping him tight. He turned his head into the hot skin and inhaled deeply the scent of fresh air and sweat. Such an odd combination. Tilting his head a fraction he pressed a kiss to the flesh of his lover’s shoulder. His morning wood pressing insistently between them. Dean ground his hips forward in search of friction. Shifting his body weight so he could press his mouth between the curve between shoulder and neck, where he began to suck a bruise.

The deep gravely moan from in front of him made his heart skip and his eyes flew open to see the back of a dark head of hair. It hadn’t been a dream. None of it. With his heart racing in his chest he increased the movement of his hips, his dick pressing between Cas’s ass-cheek. His hand left arm was still locked around the angel’s waist but Dean had a desire to touch something other than fingers. He tugged on his hand, pulling both his and Cas’s hands into view where the dull morning light highlighting the pale silver bands around their ring fingers. Once again Dean’s heart skidded and a warm satisfied smile spread across his lips as he turned them into Cas’s ear. "You with me Cas?" he whispered hoarsely.

The only reply Dean received was another deep moan as Cas disentangled their fingers to drop his hand to the curve of Dean’s ass. Squeezing lightly at the orb, pulling Dean closer still. Dean moaned into the angel, his husband’s, ear and dropped his head onto the man’s shoulder, his hand slipping back around Cas’s waist to wrap his fingers around the man’s own aroused member. Dean’s right arm, which had been anchored in place most of the night by Cas’s head, began to tinge with awareness. He shifted so as to move it a little, shaking off numbness, praying it wouldn’t become pins and needles. Whether Cas had read his mind or just realised out of common sense that Dean’s arm was causing him trouble, the hunter couldn’t say, but suddenly Cas was rolling over to face him, lifting his head so Dean could retrieve his arm.

Dean murmured a protest but once the feeling began to return to his arm he sighed. With his left hand now unoccupied, he settled it against Cas’s ass and pulled them flush together. Bring both their erection into contact and releasing gasped pleasured moans from both his and Cas’s throat. He looked into Cas’s wide awake blue eyes and smile, before leaning up to capture his full lips. With his arm securely around Cas’s waist and his fingers curling into the mass of wayward dark hair, Dean rolled them both so that Cas was laying stretched out on top of him. The heavy weight of the other man surprisingly arousing.

Their kiss grew deeper and more intense, while they rutted against one another manically. Dean’s fingers clutching at his angel’s skin, nails biting deep in places. His legs shifting to part either side of his lover’s frame. Planting his feet flat against the mattress he used the leverage to quicken the thrusts as a ball of pressure built.

"Dean." Cas moaned into his mouth before dragging his lips away and to the hunter’s ear. "Dean…" he panted. "…can I…Dean I want to…."

Dean turned his head so as to capture the angel’s heavy lust filled gaze. "What?" he pressed breathlessly.

"I want….can…." the angel swallowed nervously, his body seeming to hesitate along with the words.

"Cas, show…don‘t tell.?"

Cas looked deep into Dean’s hazel green eyes. "But if you do not…."

"If I want you to stop Cas." Dean struggled to breath. "You’ll know before I do." he said, giving the angel a meaningful look.

Cas inclined his head slightly, before dropping down to give Dean a hungry kiss. After a few moments, he dragged his mouth away and shifted down the bed. Dean’s head shot up to follow his progress with wide eyes. "Cas…are you going…" he couldn’t breathe, or think. His heart was racing out of control. "Do you even know what your doing?" he asked breathlessly.

"I have observed a lot of acts over the centuries Dean." Cas replied seriously. "I believe I understand the dynamics."

Dean just laid there, his eyes focused slowly on Cas’s face as he moved closer to its destination, a look of utter concentration of his features. When he paused, hovering over Dean’s straining erection, Dean held his breath and waiting, his fingers curling in the sheet beneath him. When Cas opened his mouth and engulfed him in a single motion, Dean practically yelled the motel down. Clearly disturbing the room next door if the bang on the wall was any indication. Dean slammed his mouth shut and bit hard at his lips to stop from crying out again. Cas moved to release him with a concerned frown, but Dean flew out to stop him, carding through the thick hair to keep him from letting go.

"I…good God…don’t stop."

Cas nodded slightly and went back to his task, Dean falling back onto the bed, his eyes rolling back into his head from the way Cas was tending his member. His tongue swirling around and over every inch as he sucked harder than Dean thought was humanly possible. _Well he ain’t human genius_.

It was embarrassing how quickly the pressure began to build. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. He could only blame Cas and his black hole of a mouth. The guy seemed to have no gag reflex at all, which only hastened Dean’s climax. Talk about making him feel like a teenager.

It was when the white light began to dance behind his eyes and he knew he was going to explode that it all went to shit. He gripped tighter to Cas’s hair, his own head rolling back on the bed and his body arching up into Cas. Then the door seemed to fly open, though it was probably opened with a normal amount of caution from Sam, and the room was flooded with morning sunlight. Dean’s head snapped forward to meet his brother’s horrified gaze as the man stood frozen and brilliant red to the spot. If Cas was aware of Sam’s presence he didn’t show it, he just continued to work Dean towards his orgasm, which picked that exactly moment to barrel into him like an 18-wheeler, knocking him onto his back, his hips flying off the bed and a primal yell ripping from his throat as he blew his load down Cas’s waiting throat. He was vaguely aware of a yelp of horror and then the door slamming before he all by blacked out. He came round a few moments later, breathless and dazed. Cracking his eyes open he glanced down to see Cas still knelt in front of him, watching him closely. Wiggling his finger he indicated for Cas to join him. He felt the bed shift at the angel crawled back up the bed towards him. With his eyes closed he waited felt the heat of Cas’s body above him and grinned, reaching out blindly to pull the man down into a slow probing kiss.

 


	5. I'm Not A Perfect Person

Dean tugged down his fresh t-shirt as Cas strolled out of the bathroom with his suit on and his tie hanging loosely around his neck. Dean looked up and smiled warmly and took the few steps to close the distance between them, his hands reaching out for the man’s tie.

"I am able to do this myself Dean." Cas protested as Dean began to tug on the ends.

"I know." he murmured. "I just wanna do it."

Cas watched him closely as the hunter concentrated on the strip of material. "Is this one of those human things?"

Dean smirked, not looking up from his task. "Yes."

"Oh."

"There." Dean said after a few moments, patting at the tie. "All done. - I did this a couple of times for Sam. When he decided to go on dates or head to a school dance."

"You never went to school dances?" Cas said quietly, almost like he already knew the answer.

"No. Weren’t really my thing." Dean huffed, turning to grab his shirt just as his phone went off. He picked it up from the table and pulled up the text from his brother. "Sam’s at a dinner down the street. Bobby’s here with some info on the big bad."

Cas nodded and headed for the chair his coat was hanging off of, while Dean shrugged into his own. They headed for the door side by side but as Cas pulled it open, Dean’s hand dropped heavily on his arm, stopping him.

"Dean?"

"Your….cool with this, right? I mean, no regrets? You don’t want to change your mind?"

Cas frowned at him with confusion and Dean’s hand slid down the Cas’s hand and the silver ring. Cas sighed meeting the hunters hazel gaze. "No Dean. I don’t regret anything."

A small smile spread across Dean’s face slowly and as he let his hand drop away he lent forward and pressed a kiss to Cas’s lips. "Good to know." he whispered, pulling away. "Lets go face Sam and Bobby."

Cas pulled the door open and stepped out. "You are aware Dean that Sam witness our…..me blowing you."

Dean choked on thin air. "Cas, where did you learn…." Cas’s raised brow told him. "Right. - He’ll be fine. He’s been walking in on me having sex since he was fourteen. He’ll deal."

Cas didn’t look overly convinced.

"I swear, he’ll be cool. It’s not like he can do anything anyway. He missed his chance to object." Dean chuckled, pulling the door closed and heading for the Impala, Cas beside him.

They pulled up outside the dinner Sam had text from and strolled calmly inside, shoulder to shoulder. Sam and Bobby where sat at a table at the far end of the room, heads bent and talking. Dean lead the way, walking confidently up to the table and dropping down next to Bobby completely naturally. Cas stood for a few minutes before he took the free space beside Sam. The younger Winchester turned to acknowledge the arrival of the pair only to quickly snap his gaze away from Cas before their eyes even met. A horrific red flush creeping its way up the hunters neck and face. Sam shifted in his seat uncomfortable, dropping his gaze to lock solely on his breakfast. Cas looked at Dean with something that he thought resembled an _‘I told you so’_ , but Dean didn’t seem to care.

"So what we got?"

"What can I get for you?" the waitress interrupted, looking between Dean and Cas.

Dean sent her one of his charming, flirtatious smiles. "I’ll have the special, side order of bacon." he replied without even looking at the menu. "Cas, you hungry? We did have a rather eventful night." he grinned.

Beside Cas Sam choked on his eggs and reached desperately for his coffee.

"I’m fine." Cas said with a hidden scowl.

Dean grinned. "Yes you are." his lips turning up wolfishly, his eyes fixing hungrily on the angel.

The waitress coughed uncomfortable. "I….I‘ll be back with your order." she said in a rush to get away.

"Stop making everyone uncomfortable." Bobby snapped from beside the younger hunter. "We’re all very aware that you’ve got your man. Stop acting like an idijit."

Dean smirked from Bobby to Cas. "What can I say, I’m in a good mood. - A very good mood."

Bobby elbowed him in the ribs. "Quit it. We’ve got work to do, or don’t you care about the end of the world now your all shacked up?"

Dean sobered instantly. "What we got?"

"I’ve heard rumour that the Colt is around somewhere?" Cas said matter-of-factly.

"You talking about the Colt? As in thee Colt?"

"I am." Cas nodded, his eyes scanning the room aimlessly.

Dean frowned over at Sam and Bobby. "Well that don’t make any sense. Why would the demons keep a gun around that kills demons?"

Sam shrugged. "Surely they would have melted it down by now."

"I hear differently. - And if it’s true, and your all set on the insane task of killing the devil, this is how we do it." Cas replied firmly, his gaze locking with Dean’s.

"Okay, where do we start?"

"I have no idea." Cas replied coolly.

Dean rolled his eyes as the waitress return and lowered the plate in front of him. "Thanks." he smiled up warmly once more.

The young woman looked between him and Cas, flushed, nodded and rushed away.

Dean stared at Cas who returned the gaze with innocence, but Dean wasn’t fooled.

"So." Sam coughed breaking their epic staring contest, slightly irritated that the shift in their relationship hadn't put an end to it. "The Colt?"

Dean’s gaze lingered on Cas a few more seconds before turning to his brother. "I guess so?"

"So how the hell do we find the damn thing?" Bobby grumbled.

"Who had it last?" Cas asked quietly.

Dean and Sam shared a look. "It got stolen." Dean replied.

"Who stole it?"

"She’s dead. - She said she’d sold it off to someone." Dean grumbled into this food. He still hadn’t forgiven Bela.

Cas sighed. "And you have no idea at all where it could be?"

Dean glared up at him. "Can’t you just locate it using your mojo?"

"No." the angel replied sharply.

Dean scoffed and went back to his food.

"It’s not even twenty four hours and your already acting like you’ve been married for fifty years." Bobby smirked, shaking his head.

Dean opened his mouth to argue, only to be cut off by the sound of his phone. Shifting his wait he pulled the thing out of his jean pocket and stared down at the caller ID. His brows drawing tight together as he saw the name, before lifting to meet Cas’s with a shade of discomfort and guilt.

"Are you going to answer that?" Cas asked evenly.

Swallowing hard he flipped it open. "Hello? Jamie, hey. What can I….Huh? What? I….Are you sure? Right. Well…." he looked up at Cas once more. "…I can be there soon. Alright. Bye." he hung up and stared down at the phone, like it held all the answers.

"Was that Jamie from Pennsylvania? Shapeshifer case?" Sam asked, sending Cas an awkward sideways glance.

Dean looked up through his lashes. "Yeah."

"What’s she want?"

Dean shifted uncomfortable, pushing away his unfinished meal. "She kinda had some news."

"What kinda news? She got a case for us?"

Dean shook his head. "I…I’ve got to go. I’ll call you. Bobby can help you out with whatever."

Sam’s eyes widened as Dean leapt out of his seat and rushed to the door, Cas on his heels. "I don’t like the sound of that." he murmured, glancing back at an equally concerned and confused Bobby.

The moment Dean hit the street, he sucked in a deep breath, his head spinning. The universe was screwing with him. It had to be because why else would he get a call from a one night stand the morning after he’d gotten married? He supposed it was his own fault. He should have been more careful. - Or better yet he shouldn’t have slept with Jamie to start with. But maybe she was mistaken. Maybe it was just a coincidence like with Lisa and Ben.

"Dean?"

He spun around to face Cas. The man, the angel, he’d married only twelve or so hours ago. Who he’d spent the night with.  Kissing. Touching. Who he’d given himself over completely to. Who he loved. "Cas." he said reluctantly. "I….I’ve got…"

"She has had the baby." Cas stated casually.

Dean stared wide eyed. "Are you reading my mind again?"

"I never read your mind Dean, merely place myself within it."

"Then how…?" he frowned, looking intensely at Cas.

Cas held his gaze unflinchingly.

Dean took a step closer. "You knew." he snapped, trapped part way between shock and anger.

"Yes."

"And you didn’t tell me?"

"No."

"Why _the hell_ didn‘t you tell me?" he asked finally settling on furious.

"To what purpose Dean?"

"Because I had a right to know. And I’m your….because we’re…."

"Married." Cas finished with a deep frown.

"Yes. Which means you don’t keep secrets from me." Dean snapped.

Cas stared at him, his eyes narrowed and his head hilted just a little to the side. "Was it not down to her to tell you?"

Clearing his throat, Dean scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah. But…well, I only knew her for two days."

"I am aware."

Dean’s gaze snapped up to Cas’s. "Don’t use that tone, we weren’t together and I was just out of hell. How was I meant to know this would happen?" he waved between them. "Before this, I didn’t do guys."

Cas stared at him coolly. "You knew how you felt Dean. You felt it, as I did the first night we met."

"I….look I slept with a girl because that’s what I do!" He snapped, angrily at them both in that second. "I was just out of hell, still dealing with…everything. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to relax and pretend nothing had changed! - I don’t know why the hell I’m explaining myself to you!" he snapped, turning to leave.

"I don’t care that you have intercourse with women Dean!" Cas called after him, causing Dean to turn and glare.

"Cas, shut up." he hushed him, rushing back to grap his arm and drag him back to the Impala. "You don’t talk about this stuff in the middle of the street." he said, climbing behind the wheel. Cas settling himself into the passenger seat.

They sat in an uncomfortable silence. Neither one looking at the other. Finally Dean broke it, his hands gripping hard to the wheel. "I’ve got to go see her."

Cas didn’t reply straight away, sitting silently staring out the front window at the busy street. "Yes. You do."

"Are you…."

The pair were startled when the back door opened and Sam climbed in.

"What do you want?" Dean glared.

"To know what’s going on."

"Dean has fathered a child with the Jamie woman from Pennsylvania."

"What?"

Dean sighed and hung his head.

"Didn’t you use something?"

Dean shrugged. "Clearly not."

"You sure this isn’t like with Ben?" Sam asked with a concerned frown.

"Well Cas knew so I guess not."

"What?" Sam gapped, staring at the angel.

"Shouldn’t you be finding a job to work with Bobby, maybe trying to figure out where the Colt is."

"Bobby’s the one that said I should come out here and see what’s happening."

"Well now you know you can go back and tell him." Dean snapped, starting the car. "I’ll call you from Pennsylvania."

"I’ll come with you." Sam insisted.

"No. We can do this…."

Sam looked between them. "So this is going to be how it is now huh? You two going to off on your own leaving me with Bobby?" he asked, only half kidding.

"Stop whining princess. We’ll meet up with you in a couple of days."

Sam sent the pair a nodded before throwing open the door and climbing out. Bending back in he smiled reassuringly at his brother. "It’ll be fine. At least she can’t demand you marry her."

"Bitch."

"Jerk." Sam countered, slamming the door.

"You wish for me to come with you?" Cas said as if it wasn’t a given.

Dean didn’t bother answering the question he simply pulled away from curb and headed for the highway.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Four hours later Dean pulled the Impala into a familiar small town. They located the hospital quickly, Dean having been here before. As they were getting out Cas paused. "Maybe it would be best if you go by yourself Dean."

"Why?" he frowned over the roof of the Impala.

"She does not know me. I think an explanation that would undoubtly need to be given would make you uncomfortable."

Dean swallowed. _Did he think he was ashamed?_   "Cas..."

"It is alright Dean."

"No it’s not. I’m not ashamed of you or us. Your coming." he demanded harshly. "If Jamie’s got a problem, then…tough."

There were no more argument, Dean marched off toward the large white building, Cas rushing to his side. They strolled calmly through the hospital to the reception, the nurse raising her gaze to meet his. Neither of the men missed the spark of interest in them, this time aimed at Cas.

"Hey." she smiled warmly. "How can I help you?" her eyes never leaving the angel.

Dean ground his teeth at the sight, he wasn’t one for getting jealous, well he’d never really had any reason to. He’d never had anyone to be jealous over. _So this is what it feels like. Huh_. He thought. "Yeah, we’re looking for Jamie…." _shit what was her last name?_ Had he ever asked.

"Kendal." Cas murmured.

Dean’s head snapped around to look at him with a frown. How the hell had he known that? _Cause he’s an angel, genius. He probably knows the name of everyone on earth._ The nurse smiled again before reluctantly dropping her gaze to type into the computer. Dean watched her closely, and knew something was wrong the moment her face dropped.

"I…huh. Would you like to take a seat and I’ll have a doctor with you." she nodded towards the plastic chairs while reaching for the phone.

Five minutes later a young man in a white coat strolled through large white doors and straight towards Dean. "Hello, I’m Doctor Kahn. You’re here about Ms Kendal?"

Dean jumped to his feet. "Yes."

"Can I ask who you are?"

"I’m…" Dean swallowed the sense of foreboding that was clawing at his cut. "I’m her baby’s father. Is there something wrong?"

The doctors face said everything. Something was most defiantly wrong. "Please come with me." he glanced over at Cas for a second.

Dean seeing him turned to make introductions. "This is my partner." he said, husband just sounded too weird in his head.

The doctor nodded understandingly and lead the way.

"There were some complications." Dr Kahn said as they walked. "The birth went perfectly normally and we had no idea there was anything wrong until a hour ago when Ms Kendal…" he paused to pull open a door, leading them along another corridor. "…slipped into a coma."

"What?" Dean gasped. "She’s in a coma?"

Dr Kahn stopped and turned to look at Dean sadly. "Not any more." he shook his head gently. "I’m afraid she passed away forty minutes ago."

Dean stared dumbfounded. _Forty minutes_.

"It seemed there was a blood clot that travelled to her heart. It’s rare but it does happen. I’m sorry."

Dean glanced over at Cas, who reached out to touch his shoulder supportively. It wasn’t like Dean had any real feelings for the woman, hell he hadn’t even known her last name, but it was always a shock when someone he knew died. People would probably expect him to be used to it by now, having lost some many and living with death on a daily basis, but he never got used to it. He didn’t think he ever would. He turned back to the doctor as a sudden thought entered his mind. "The baby?"

"She’s fine." Dr Kahn smiled reassuringly. "Would you like to see her?"

Dean was nodding before he even realised what he was doing, then they were being led off again.

Dean stared down at the crumbled red face, her small body swaddled in a pink blanket. His heart leapt at the sight of her, his breathe catching in his throat. He tried to swallow past it, but he couldn’t. When he’d thought Ben was his he’d been terrified, then excited only to be disappointed when Lisa had told him the boy wasn’t his. Now he actually knew he was a father because Cas had confirmed it.

"Do you want to hold her?"

Dean looked nervously at the doctor, uncertain.

"It’s fine." Dr Kahn smiled softly, reaching in to the crib to lift the little body out and hand her to Dean.

He cradled the small package as gently as he could, scared he’d break or drop her. He couldn’t see any resemblance to him or anyone, she was still all squished up.

"There are some forms you’ll need to sign. I’ll give you a few moments." Dr Kahn nodded before turning an leaving.

Dean stood awkwardly staring dumbfounded, unconsciously rocking back and forth, amazed at the sight. He’d begun to believe that he’d never have this, but here he was, with a child and a ring on his finger. His life was never going to be easy, he knew that. It was never going to be safe. But at least he finally had what he’d always wanted, a family of his own. He looked up to see Cas staring at him blankly. "You alright?" he asked quietly, not wanting to disturb his daughter.

"I…I was just wondering what you intend to do? About her?" he nodded to the baby.

Dean frowned. "Huh?"

"Will you be keeping her?"

Dean stared at the angel, unsure how to take the question. His voice was utterly blank, giving away nothing. Did Cas not want him to keep his daughter? The one he’d had with a one night stand.

As always Cas seemed to read his mind. "I am just concerned Dean. We are in rather a dangerous situation at present."

Dean dropped his gaze to the little girl. Did she have a name, had Jamie given her one. He glanced around the crib for any sign of it, but found nothing, her hospital bracelet simply starting Baby Kendal. He sighed. "You think I should hand her over to Jamie’s family?"

"Jamie had no family. At least none she was in contact with. Her mother died when she was five and her father was abusive. She ran away from home when she was fifteen."

Dean’s gaze snapped up to stare at the angel. "What? How do you know that?"

Cas stared at him blankly. "I know many things Dean."

The hunter huffed. "Yeah. - So there’s no one? So siblings, aunts or uncles?"

"Very distant. In Minnesota."

Dean shook his head. "Well, clearly if Jamie didn’t got to them before they weren’t close, so…." he looked down again as his little girl moved in his arms. "…I won’t let her go into care Cas. She’s mine. She’s a Winchester."

"What about…."

"Me and Sam grew up on the road, and despite what Sam would have everyone believe it wasn’t all bad."

"Dean you know you can’t lie to me." Cas whispered.

"Fine. It wasn’t perfect, but I’m not allowing her to be taken away Cas. I know what happens to people in care, it doesn’t end well."

"We could find a good family to take her." Cas said matter-of-factly.

"No." Dean snapped. "I know you don’t get it Cas, being well…what you are, but family is family. She’s my responsibility."

"I am aware of your loyalty to family Dean. I’m merely concerned for her saf…."

"Is everything alright?" Dr Kahn said, suddenly reappearing beside them.

"Yes." Dean nodded, turning to meet the man.

The doctor clearly knew he’d interrupted a private and heated conversation. "Well…uh, I’m not sure if your aware but Miss Kendal named you as her next of kin."

Dean stared wide eyed. "Huh?"

"So I have a few forms that need to be completed before you are able to take the little one home."

Dean stared at the doctor, unsure what he was meant to do. Glancing from the baby to Cas, he turned a little and handed her over. The angel looked at him like a deer in headlights. Dean nodded insistently. Cas reluctantly cradled his arms as he’d seen Dean just do, allowing Dean to lay the little human in them.

Cas stared down at the small person. He’d never held a infant before and it was a strange sensation, like hold a delicate piece of glass. He looked at her intensely, seeing the gentle glow of her soul beneath her human flesh. He felt a unusual tightness in his chest when her small blue eyes opened and met his.

Dean watched Cas for a few moments, he saw the pure amazement cross his face and felt his heart skip. Finally he turned back to the doctor, who lead him a few feet away to a small table for him to lean on. The man informed him that Jamie hadn’t named the girl before her death, having been to worn out at first and then slipping into a coma. He asked what he intended to call her and Dean glanced once again over to Cas and the baby. The angel was rocking gently, like he’d seen Dean do, while whispering quietly. A smile pulled at Dean’s lips as he wondered what he was saying.

"I…I’m not sure really." Dean murmured. "This is all a bit…."

Dr Kahn nodded understandingly.

The sudden sound of crying brought both men’s heads around. Dean shot to his feet to race over to Cas, only to find the man completely calm and talking to her in a gentle voice. Cas looked up as Dean approached. "She is hungry." he stated firmly.

Dean stared at him with wide eyes.

"Here." Said a smiling mild aged nurse, holding a pre-made bottle out to them.

"Thanks." Dean said taking it and moving over to Cas, the angel holding the baby out to him.

Dean glanced around for a seat, before dropping down, lifting the bottle to her lips. "There you go. That’s right, you like that?" he whispered softly. He glanced up momentarily to see Cas watching him with a strange expression on his face. Dean nodded to the wooden chair beside him and the angel lowered himself down, never taking his eyes of the pair.

"I have rounds. When you’ve completed the form just hand them in at the front desk." Dr Kahn nodded, "And if you need anything the nurses will help."

"Thanks Doc." Dean nodded. "Oh, so when I’ve done the forms, I can take her home?"

Dr Kahn nodded. "Yes. Gentleman."

"Thanks again Doc." Dean turned his full attention back to his daughter. "So, you need a name huh?" he whispered. "Any suggestions?"

Cas frowned. "Dean, she will be unable to answer you for at least a year."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that’s Daddy Cas. He kinda doesn’t understand a lot of stuff." he chuckled, glancing up through his lashes. "But it’s his best feature. You’ll get used to it, and love him as much as I do. Just you wait and see."

Cas met his gaze with surprise.

"And there’s also your uncle Sammy." Dean continued, dragging his gaze from Cas. "And uncle Bobby…though he’s more like a grandpa than an uncle. Oh he’ll love you. Yeah, I think we’ll call him grandpa Bobby." Dean nodded as the little girl continued to suck on the bottle hungrily.

"She still needs a name Dean. - Isn’t it a custom to name a child after family member?"

"I’m not naming her after any of your family." Dean looked up seriously, but the twitch at the corner of his mouth said he was kidding.

"Perhaps your mother?" Cas clarified, as if Dean hadn’t spoken.

Dean looked down at her. "What about her mom? - What you say kiddo? Jamie or Mary?"

"Could you not call her both? Many people have more than a single name, Dean."

"See, he may not know what a De'lorian is, but he’s not stupid. So, now we just have to choose between Mary Jamie Winchester or Jamie Mary Winchester? - I think this is a moment for a coin toss."

The coin toss had to wait until she’d finished feeding. Dean had shifted her from his arms to his shoulder, where he began to rub her back in firm circles, as the nurse had instructed. When she’d finally give a little burp, accompanied by the smallest amount of baby sick - not that he much cared. After all, his jacket had seen worse. - Dean handed her back to Cas so he could pull out a coin and flip it. "Head’s Mary, tales Jamie," he said as it spun in the air.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your wonderful support.


	6. I Need Your Touch Too Damn Much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I love the Impala, it's giving me a headache, so you'll have to dispell belief for this chapter, cause I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be all that easy to put seatbelts in her, if not completely impossible but Dean can't exactly drive around without a carseat for his daughter. Unless American traffic police are a lot more leanant when it comes to child safety?

Dean called Sam on the way back to the car, Cas marching beside him with Jamie, holding onto the carseat like it was his angel blade, lose it and die. His knuckles were almost white with the intensity of it. Dean wasn’t sure he was ever going to get used to see the way Cas was with Jamie. It was so….different. He’d expected the angel to be uncomfortable around the infant, uncertain. Instead it was like Cas naturally knew what to do without even thinking about it. It made his chest all gooey and warm in that embarrassing, never-telling-a-single-living-soul, way.

He shifted Jamie's, mommy Jamie, bag on his shoulder. He had to say he was glad she’d been prepared, at least partly for all of this. When Dr Kahn had handing it over along with mommy Jamie’s personal effects, Dean had felt weird taking them. But his daughter had needed her diaper changed, and some clothes to leave in, so he’d been forced to ruffle through it. He found a change of clothes in the form of a pink onesie and a small white jacket. Jamie had also brought the carrier with her to take their little girl home in. Dean swallowed hard at the thought that she would never get to do that. That his daughter wouldn’t ever get to know her mom. He probably should have been angry, he was angry, but he knew there was no point voicing it, Cas wouldn’t be able to change it, and he’d learnt the hard way that heaven didn’t care.

"Dean?"

Sam’s voice filled his ear, bringing him back to the moment. _"Is everything alright?"_

Dean glanced over at Cas and Jamie Junior with a warm smile as they finally reached the Impala. "I’m fine, but it might be another few days before I can make it back. Got some stuff to take care of." namely organizing for Jamie’s burial.

"Oh? Anything I can do?"

"It’s fine Sam, I’ll be back in a couple of days."

"Okay. Later."

"See ya soon."

"Why didn’t you tell him about Jamie?" Cas frowned.

"Because that’s not a talk I want to have over the phone." Dean sighed, slipping the phone into his pocket and throwing the bag into the back seat, before turning back to Cas. "Your going to have to hold her on your lap. - I forgot there’s not seatbelts back here. - I’ll sort it as soon as we get back to Bobby’s."

Cas nodded and slid into the passenger seat, the carrier on his lap. Dean slammed the back door and headed for the drivers seat.

Pulling away from the hospital Dean headed straight for the local Wal-Mart. He’d been given a list of items he’ll be needing by the nurse. Once they’d gotten everything they needed, plus some other stuff, Dean made a couple of other stops before heading for the nearest motel.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

While Dean navigates changing his second diaper of the evening, Cas stood in the small kitchenette preparing a fresh bottle, following the instructions Dean had given him earlier meticulously. As he worked, Dean hummed Metalica, smiling down at his daughter. It was still strange thinking of himself as a father, a real one this time. He knew Sam was going to freak, start bring up how bad it had been growing up on the road. How it had been tough and how they hadn’t had a childhood. He could already hear his brother’s argument. _"Dean, do you really want her growing up like we did.?_ and no matter what Dean said Sam would never admit that their lives hadn’t been that bad. Sure it hadn’t been smooth riding, and Dean had come to realise that their lives hadn’t been perfect, that his dad had messed up more than he’d ever admit to Sam. But things hadn’t been all that bad, not really. They’d had a childhood, well at least he had, thanks to Bobby. At least until his dad had pissed him off too and they’d stopped being left with him. Pastor Jim had done his best too, him and Sam had gotten along better than he had with Dean. And while he didn’t want to force Jamie into this life the way his father had forced him and Sam into it. He wasn’t just going to let her go. Family was all he had and all he ever really wanted. And he wasn’t going to lose this little bit of paradise. He’d fight tooth and nail to keep Jamie and Cas, or die trying. Which was a real possibility.

"Dean." Cas whispered from above him, causing him to start.

"Cas. Don’t do that." he hissed, breathing a little hard.

"Sorry. - I have finished Jamie’s bottle, it is the perfect temperature."

Dean smiled, returning his attention to finish the diaper and straighten the little girls clothes before getting to his feet, his knees popping as liftied her from the bed. Turning he held her out for Cas. "Your turn."

Cas looked uncertain. "I…"

"I’ve fed her twice today already. Beside, I have to try and assemble that travel crib so…" he nodded insistently for Cas to take the little girl.

Cas reluctantly held out his arms for Dean to lay her in, looking from Jamie to Dean.

"Sit down." Dean smirked, guiding him gently to the end of the bed. "And put the thing in her mouth." When Cas lifted the bottle to her lips, Dean grinned and turned away, heading over to the bag of parts that made up the crib he’d brought earlier on his way to the motel.

Cas divided his attention between watching Dean work and watching Jamie drink. He had to admit that he was already attached to the new soul, shining so brightly, yet unscarred by the world it had been born into. But he feared what her future was going to be. They were in the middle of a war. A war they may not win. They could all be dead soon, leaving Jamie with no one. He understood that Dean wanted a family, he’d always wanted that. Family was everything to Dean. But putting his daughter at risk seemed selfish, and Cas couldn’t understand how a man who was putting his life on the line for the sake of humanity, to keep them safe and alive, could be selfish.

"Done!" Dean announced proudly, leaping to his feet. "What you think?" he asked from the side of the crib.

Cas looked at him with his usual stoney face, nodding. He dropped his gaze back to Jamie as she finished the last of her bottle.

"What is it?" Dean frowned, able to read Cas as well as he could read Sam.

"Nothing."

"Don’t give me that, you're thinking about something. I can tell remember."

"I’m just concerned for Jamie’s safety."

Dean sighed. He should have expected this from Cas, as well as Sam. The angel was always the sensible one. It was infuriating really. Sometimes Dean wondered why he put up with it.

"I just don’t understand how you can do it Dean. - After the way you grew up?"

"There was nothing wrong with the way I grew up." Dean snapped defensively.

"You can’t lie to me either Dean." Cas replied firmly, removing the bottle from between Jamie’s pouty lips.

"Look, would I have liked a normal life? Yeah. I would have liked my mom to not have been burned alive and for us all to be a family. But you taught me long ago Cas that that was never going to happen. Mom was a hunter, we were always going to end up on that road."

"But Jamie doesn’t have to." Cas insisted, rubbing at the infants back as he’d seen Dean do earlier.

"And what would you have me do with her?" Dean frowned angrily. "Do you know what happens to kids in the system? Trust me, this life is probably safer for her."

Cas sighed. "Not all children turn out bad when looked after by your _‘system’_ Dean."

"No. But she’s already got a bad start, she’s a god-damn Winchester! She’s already cursed."

Cas shook his head. "Your family is not cursed Dean."

"Isn’t it?" Dean snapped, taking a few steps forward to tower over his partner. "Have you been paying attention Cas? My grandparents. My mom. My dad. Sammy. Me. - We’ve all died, we’re all screwed up. We lose loved one more than any one should. And all we can do is hold on to what we’ve got left and keep fighting. So you know what, maybe it is selfish of me to want to drag Jamie into this world, but I think after everything I’m allowed to be. - I want my family Cas. I need this one thing to keep me fighting. I need Sam and Bobby. And I need you and Jamie."

Cas looked up into Dean’s hazel green eyes and found himself unable to breath from the intensity of his gaze. They continued to stare at each other, trying to communicate everything that couldn’t be put into words before finally Cas nodded and took a breath and shifted Jamie from his shoulder. "She will sleep now." Cas announced warmly.

Dean’s shoulders relaxed and he reached out for the little girl, carrying her to her crib, pressing a kiss to her head before he laid her down, covering her with a pale lemon blanket. When he turned back Cas was watching him. Retracing his steps he stopped in front of his angel, silently meeting his gaze once more, before closing the space and taking his mouth in a slow kiss that asked for support and forgiveness. Two things Cas would never deny him.

As they shared tentative kisses, Dean’s hands slipped between them, tugging gently at Cas’s belt.

"Dean." Cas breathed, pulling back ever so slightly. "Jamie?"

"We’ll be quiet." Dean reassured. "We won’t wake her if we’re quiet."

Cas pulled away a little further to look at the hunter with a speculative frown.

"Cas…" Dean sighed, his hands pausing for a moment. "This is still our honeymoon."

The angel’s frown deepened.

"Honeymoon, Cas. It’s what comes after a wedding." he smirked, dragging his open mouth and tongue up Cas’s rough jaw. "When the bride and groom, or in our case the grooms, have an extraordinary amount of sex, till they can barely walk straight."

Cas’s breath hitched. "I just would not wish…."

"Jamie’s fine. Kids have shared their parents room for thousands of year while they got busy, you should know that better than anyone. - now…" he slid his hand beneath the waistband of Cas’s slacks. "….you want to get busy?" he growled in Cas’s ear, adding a suggestive glare.

A deep primal noise rumbled out of the back of Cas’s throat as he lifted his hand to grip the back of Dean’s neck and pulled him back into a much more vigorous kiss. Dean's hand vanishing from the angel’s pants and reappearing in Cas's dark hair, as they stumbled back the short distance to the end of the bed.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean collapsed breathlessly onto his back, staring up flushed at the ceiling, his arm lulling over his eyes. Cas lay beside him, his own breathing recovering quicker than Dean’s. He flipped over onto his side, his eyes locked on the side of the hunter’s face until Dean was forced to peek out from beneath his arm and smile over at his husband. "Hey."

Cas smiled back, a small barely there one, but it was still an actual smile this time and Dean felt his heart skip at the sight. Cas shifted close to Dean’s side, reaching over him to press his palm to the hunter’s shoulder, seeking the proof of their connection. Dean’s gaze followed the dark haired arm to the branded hand print and heaved a heavy sigh of contentment at the touch. A warmth blanketing his soul. When Cas’s grip loosened, Dean let out a small reluctant groan of loss, turning his hazel eyes to meet Cas’s blue ones. The angel’s own gaze fixed still on the expanse of Dean’s chest and shoulder as his fingers trailed aimlessly over the raised flesh. Dean dropped his hand to lightly stroke his own calloused fingers along Cas’s arm stretched across his chest, brushing over the thin layer of dark hair. The pair comfortably silent. Dean’s eyelids slowly fluttering closed in the peaceful bubble that was Cas’s embrace.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

It was 4:15AM when the coolness beside him finally seeped through the wall of sleep. Dean grunted as he flung his arm out only to find the space beside him empty. He cracked open an eyes and huffed at the dented pillow, lifting his head to crane his neck in search of his angelic husband. The room was filled with a soft glow of light seeping in from the window, and the bathroom. Cas paced the motel room with Jamie cradled to his chest - his naked chest. - a bottle to her lips, murmuring softly to her. Dean shifted up onto his elbow and continued to watch the angel and his - _their_ daughter.

The soft light lit up every harsh angle of Cas’s form, as well as the smooth dips and curves. Dean’s lips curled at the sight and once again his heart leapt. He didn’t think he’d ever get tired of watching Cas. Of appreciating the toned form of his body. Dean had forced himself never to think of the man who had once belonged to that body. Jimmy Novak. But seeing Cas with Jamie now brought it to the forefront of his mind and a pain filled his chest. Jimmy had a daughter too and a wife. - A shiver rushed though Dean at the though of Jimmy being trapped inside his own body, having to watch helplessly as Dean touched and forced his way inside. What if Jimmy was homophobic? What if his and Cas’s relationship was sickening to him? While part of Dean wanted to think of it as a punishment for being so small minded, he couldn’t. It was Jimmy’s body, and Dean was pretty sure he hadn’t agreed to being rear-ended on a nightly basis.

"Dean?"

The hunter shook off the thoughts and looked up to see a naked Cas standing over him, Jamie still cradled in his arms.

"Are you alright?"

Dean swallowed. "Fine."

Cas raised a brow in disbelief.

Dean knew when he was beat, _dammit_. "Cas….?"

The angel settled down next to him on the bed, his gaze serious as it met Dean’s. "Yes Dean."

The hunter took a deep breath, dropping his eyes to the bed sheets. "Cas….Jimmy?" is all he could voice, only hoping that Cas’s ability to read his mind worked because he didn’t think he could find the words to explain what he wanted to know. 

Cas stared at Dean for a few long moments, looking for what the hunter couldn’t say and sighing when he found it. He looked down sadly at Jamie. "You want to know if Jimmy is still in here?" he asked quietly.

"I…yeah." Dean nodded.

The angel looked at him once more. "When Raphael…." Cas swallowed. "When I was….killed by Raphael, I died Dean. This body was destroyed. - When that happened, Jimmy’s soul returned home, like any human. - When my father restored me, he returned me to this form." Cas met Dean’s gaze. "Alone."

Dean stared at him intensely. "So Jimmy’s not….in there with you?"

Cas shook his head and Dean finally released a relieved sigh.

"Dean? - Would it have made a difference if he was?"

Dean watched his lover for a long moment. "Not to how I feel, no. - But….I know what it’s like for someone not to be in control of themselves. I don’t know if I could have lived with knowing that I was forcing Jimmy to endure what we….our relationship."

"You know a vessel is unaware of what is happening once we take control?" Cas frowned. "He would have no knowledge of…."

"That doesn’t matter Cas. Jimmy would have still been a prisoner in his own body, and while I can ignore that usually, I don’t think I would have been able to forget completely. - Especially when we’re….together."

Cas nodded but Dean wasn’t sure if the angel really understood how difficult it would have been for him.

"Then I am glad your mind has been put at ease Dean." Cas replied, getting back to his feet, strolling towards the kitchen, where he placed the bottle before shifting Jamie to his shoulder.

Dean continued to watch him as he paced the room, Cas’s hand rubbing circled against Jamie’s back. The lead weight he’d allowed to settle in his stomach gone with Cas’s reassurances. Dean smiled as Cas laid the little girl back in her crib before hesitantly returning to the bed. The hunter shifting back to his own, now cold side of the bed to make room.

"You alright?" Dean whispered, settling back against his pillow.

"Yes." Cas nodded, mirroring Dean’s posture.

Dean watched him closely. "I…" he sighed, reaching out to grip Cas’s stubbled jaw gentle, turning the angel to meet his gaze. "Cas?"

"I said I’m alright Dean. - I just…."

"Don’t want to think about what happened with Raphael." Dean finished with a small nod.

Cas dropped his gaze, remaining silent.

"Hey. - I get it. I shouldn’t have brought it up."

"You had a genuine concern Dean. I’m….glad you spoke to me about it. I know you don’t like to talk about things that worry you."

Dean narrowed his eyes at him, but there was a smile pulling at the corners of his lips. "Shame Sam can’t seem to remember that." he shook his head. "I promise not to bring it up again."

Cas nodded silently.

Dean used his hold on the angel’s face to bring their mouths together, kissing him softly before shifting back down beneath the covers. "Lets get back to sleep. She’ll have us up again in a few hours." he smiled, dragging Cas down beside him, his arm anchoring the angel to his side.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Jamie did in fact have them up again four hours later, though the early rise didn’t really bother Dean, not after years of barely any sleep at all. It did put a bit of a dampener of the morning sex but Dean made up for that by dragging Cas into the shower after feeding Jamie and settling her back into the crib. Cas of course had protested, but only half-heartedly and they evaporated altogether once he had Dean’s mouth on his neck and his dick in his ass.

After introducing Cas to the joys of shower sex, the pair dressed - Dean dressing Jamie in a pale pink dress. - then headed out. Cas once again forced to hold Jamie in his lap. "I’ve really got to do something about this." he sighed, looking from Cas to the carrier in his lap. "As soon as we’re finished at the funeral home I’ll deal with it." Dean nodded, starting the engine and pulling away from the motel.

The meeting at the funeral home surprisingly didn’t take long. Dean filled in some paper work, arranged for Jamie’s body to be collected from the hospital. Dean deciding to have her cremated, as was the hunter way. After that the pair headed down main street, Dean pushing the stroller. They passed a few shops, received a few questionable looks from passers by, till they reached a nearby garage. Dean left Cas in charge of the stroller while he popped inside to enquire about seatbelts for his baby. Hoping she’d forgive him for messing with her perfect interior.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Cas watched Dean from the window of the motel room as he worked on the Impala in the parking lot out front. Unsure of the feelings racing through him at the sight. He couldn’t say he was totally at ease with the turn in his relationship with Dean. He still had doubts about the whole thing. But they were short lived when Dean touched and kissed him. The bond they’d had since Hell was growing increasingly stronger, and Cas found himself fearing the loss of it. He turned to glance over at the sleeping little girl. Dean’s daughter. A new soul. Dean had insisted that she belonged to Cas as much as to him. That as a couple, Cas was her father too. The whole idea filled the angel with a strange sense of warmth he’d never experience before. There was a love in him that hadn’t been there previously.

Cas had always thought that there was only one kind of love. The pure love heaven and his father carried, but since meeting Dean he’d discovered that it wasn’t that simple. The love Dean showed for Sam was different to that he had for Bobby, and so different to that he show Cas. And the love the angel felt for Dean was so much more intense than what he’d felt in heaven, and so completely unlike what he felt for Jamie. Love Cas decided wasn’t simple, but it was pure in a whole new way.

Turning back to the window he continued to watch Dean work, seeing the sun highlight the layer of sweat clinging to the hunters flesh. Dean had stripped out of his jacket and shirt and was now working in his black t-shirt, which was clinging to his sweat soaked skin. He dropped his gaze as his body reacted to the heat that began racing through his body.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps and smiled at Cas. "Hey." his smile becoming more heated and mischievous at the hungry lustful look in the angel’s dark eyes.

"Dean. I want to have sex." Cas announced matter-of-factly, louder than was appropriate.

Dean couldn’t help the blush that surged up his cheeks at the blatant invitation. "I’m a little bus…." he was cut off by Cas’s mouth slamming into his, pressing him uncomfortably into the side of the Impala. Dean kissed back for a few minutes before his meagre sense of propriety seeped in, forcing him to push Cas away. "Cas, not exactly the place for this." he stated in a rough lust-heavy voice.

Cas frowned taking a step back. "You do not wish to have sex?"

"No. - I mean yes. God yes, but not in the middle of the motel parking lot. Jeez, Cas. I may be open to a lot of new experiences; public sex in broad daylight is not one of them." Cas still looked unsure and confused, and maybe even a little hurt at Dean’s rejection, and didn’t that just feel like a punch in the hunter’s gut. "Listen, just let me finish here, okay and then I’ll be in and we can have as much sex as you want." he smirked.

Cas straightened his back and gave a stiff nod, before turning to leave, only to be halted by Dean’s hand on his arm, pulling him back for another brief kiss.

"Argh. Ten minutes. No less than that. I’ll be there in five." he said in a low hungry tone.

Cas met Dean’s gaze and nodded, this time with a smile in his lustful blue eyes.

 _He’s going to be the death of me._ Dean thought as he watched Cas vanish back into the motel room. Swallowing hard he rushed to finish the last buckle on the right passenger side seat before quickly putting his rented tools away and locking up the car. He practically ran back to the motel room, bursting through the door to find Cas sat on the end of the bed, waiting patiently. The angel glanced up as Dean marched determinedly towards him, dropping his jacket and shirt on the floor by the door. His t-shirt still clinging to his flesh. Dean didn’t say a word, didn’t pause, he just swooped down to take Cas’s mouth, his fingers curling tight in the man’s thick dark hair. Using his weight and height to force the angel onto his back. Not that Cas put up any kind of fight.

Cas arched up into him causing Dean to grin into the kiss at the feel of the angel’s erection insistent against his thigh. The hunter’s hands quickly dropping to tug Cas’s shirt out of his slacks, fiddling with the buttons until he was able to yank the thing up over Cas’s head and fling it across the room.

"We’re really going to have to see about getting you more suitable clothes." Dean growled seconds before recapturing Cas’s full lips. His hands trailing all over the angel’s body.

The more they were intimate the more confidence Cas seemed to gain. The better he was able to understand his needs and follow his instincts. He grappled with Dean’s sweat soaked tee, dragging it up the hunter’s body and over his head, dropping it aimlessly beside the bed before running his hands over the damp skin. Enjoying the feel of Dean’s toned abs beneath his palm. His hips snapping forward insistently.

Dean ripped his mouth from his lovers to suck a deep bruise into the curve of Cas’s neck, while the angel’s fingers bit onto his flanks. The pair moaned at the friction their rutting to causing, till Dean couldn’t take it anymore and pulled away to reach for Cas’s pants. Striping them and his underwear off quickly. He dropped his hands to deal with his own, only to find himself on his back in a flash, Cas above him, wrestling with the denim and cotton. Free of his clothing, Dean raised his leg without realising and hooked it over Cas’s hip as the angel swooped down to reclaim the hunter’s mouth. The touch of hot flesh against hot flesh stealing both their breathes. Dean’s rough calloused fingers pressing into the smooth skin of Castiel’s waist as they moved against one another.

"Ugr…Dean I…" Cas groaned heavily.

Dean replied in kind, before shifting to reach for the nightstand, only for Cas to move and stretch further, reaching the drawer first, yanking it open with more strength than he needed, causing it to crash to the floor. The pair froze; both taking a moment to look in the direction of the crib and the sleeping baby. Once assured she was unaffected by the sudden noise, they looked at each other, Dean giving Cas a wide relieved grin. After a brief kiss Cas scrambled over the side of the bed while Dean allowed his hands and eyes to roam. Arching up to press open mouth kisses and nips to the angel’s ribs.

As Cas moved back to kneel between Dean’s thighs, the hunter shifted up the bed a little, yanking the pillows down to settle beneath his head. He watched Cas intently, and drew in a sharp breath as the man’s less calloused fingers wrapped firmly around his dick, stroking it tenderly while his other hand worked the lid of the bottle of lubricant. A gleeful smile spread across Dean’s lips at the image of Cas riding him Cowgirl style filled his mind.

That thought was quickly ripped from his mind though when two slicked and cold fingers were forced past the ring of tight muscle. Dean's head flew back against the pillow with a grunt, his body jerking off the bed and his arm flying out to grip at the headboard above him. His eyes snapped shut and his teeth sunk into his lower lip to stop himself from yelling out and waking Jamie. Because there was no way he could deal with a crying baby now. Now he only had one thing on his mind and it was forcing his internal muscles to relax and spasm all at once. When a third finger joined the party Dean couldn’t keep his mouth shut any more. "Shit. Fuck." he gasped, rolling his hips desperately back against the digits. "Sons of a bitch." he snapped as Cas curled his fingers and Dean’s body jerked once more. "Stop…"

Cas froze. His eyes lifting to stare at Dean with concern. "Dean? Are you not…."

"Shut up. I wasn’t finished." he grunted, panting out the words. "Stop teasing and get the fuck on with it." he finished roughly, his eyes burning into Cas.

The angel gave a nod of assent and shifted forward, bracing himself on his arms, hovering over Dean. The hunter sucked in a breath, lifting his legs to brace his feet on the mattress and ready himself.

There was no ease or finesse when Cas slipped into him, and it quickly became evident to Dean that he might have rushed this forward too soon, but there was no way they were stopping now. So instead he sunk his teeth back into his lips - which was probably going to be black and blue in a few hours. - and gripped hold of the headboard tightly. His eyes locked with Cas’s as he burrowed deeper into Dean. When Cas was fully seated inside him, Dean released his lips, surging up to take the angel’s mouth is a dirty desperate kiss, his free hand pulling on the man’s hair and moaning around their battling tongues.

Then Cas was moving. Sharp, rough thrusts that easily stole not only Dean’s breath but his senses. Their mouths were still bound together for a few moments before they needed to breathe and Dean pulled reluctantly back. His fingers releasing the headboard for fear of them being crushed. His now free hand relocated to Cas’s shoulder, while his other lay against the curve of the angel’s back, savouring the feel of the subtly defined muscles beneath his palm.

The movement of their bodies against one another created a delicious friction on Dean’s dick, trapped between them. A ball of molten heat forming low in his gut. When the ball grew heavier Dean surged forward to retake Cas’s lips, his arms tightening around the angel. He hadn’t expected it to be so simple to switch their positions, not with Cas’s angel mojo, but he’d managed it. Now Cas lay on his back, head pressed into the mattress by Dean rough hungry kiss, as the hunter straddled his hips. When he’d envisioned Cowgirl style this hadn’t been what he’d expected, but he wasn’t complaining. It felt amazing and gave him back his control. He pulled back and smiling down at the angel mischievously. Years of running from monsters and demons put him in good stead, allowing him to raise himself off of Cas and sink back down without causing his thigh muscles any strain. A slight shift in his weight and position and his entire body was on fire.

Dean hadn’t realised how quiet they’d been until his voice finally broke free, ringing in his ears. "Arh, fuck…" he panted, rocking forward to brace himself over Cas, once again altering the angle of his movement. "S-so g-good…Cas."

"Dean. - I’m going to…"

"Yes. Fu…ck…yes." Dean increased the pace, feeling his orgasm approaching. "Cas…"

"Dean." the angel moaned, his head rolling back against the mattress, his hands falling to cling on tight to Dean’s hips as they rocked back and forth with mounting urgency. "D…ean."

"Dean?"

The hunter’s head snapped around at the sound of the familiar voice and for a moment he faltered in his movements to glare at the intruding figure. He couldn’t believe Sam had done it again. It was like the kid just knew the worst possible moment to walk in. And going by the puce colour that covered his face, he thought so too. Beneath Dean though Cas was still moving, thrusting up no care for who’d just strolled in invited. When the angel’s fingers tightened almost painfully on his hipbone, Dean full attention was brought back to his husband. The look on the man’s face completely eclipsing his brother’s presence from his mind. His body returning to its original desperate search for fulfilment.

Then everything happened all at once. Cas moved his hand from Dean’s hip to his shoulder, a now common act. The moment flesh touched flesh, everything slammed into Dean and he shot his load across Cas’s stomach and chest. Cas was there with him, emptying everything into Dean in an intense rush. Beside them something exploded but all Dean was aware of really was being pulled flat against Cas’s chest, his face disturbingly close to his seed. Behind him a yell of shock and horror went out, causing Dean to turn his head to see Sam still frozen to the spot, the giant perv. Then there was screaming. No, wailing. Loud and wet sounding. Dean’s head snapped in the opposite direction, and Cas’s lifting from the bed to stare across the room at the travel crib.

"Shit." Dean swore still breathlessly. It took him a little longer that it should have to get his faculties together, but then he was claiming off of Cas and moving to scramble off the bed.

"Dean, the glass." Sam called from the doorway.

"Shit." he was able to change direction at the last possible moment to avoid stepping on the small fragments of broken glass. Then he was rushing naked, covering in sweat and with a warm sticky trail seeping down the back of his legs, to the crib, reaching inside to pull out the wailing child. "Shh, it’s alright sweetheart. Daddy’s here. Shhh. You’re safe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I couldn't help myself. Exploding lightbulb during sex, come on who didn't think that when Cas was doing the whole pull my finger trick. No? Just me then. *shrug* And of course Sammy had to see it, because I just love screwing with Sam. Quick someone get him the mind-bleach cause that's an image he ain't getting rid of for a while. Not only walking in on his brother having sex, but his big tough manly brother riding cowgirl style. rofl. It serves him right from starting the apocalypse. Well hope you liked the chapter. I'll try to get another one up soon (no pun intended.)


	7. It's My Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the crap chapter title. I just couldn't think of one. Taken from the song It's My Life by Bon Jovi

Time seemed stop. Dean stood naked, rocking a baby side to side while whispering softly, trying to calm its crying. Seemingly completely oblivious to anything but the child. Cas sat up on the bed, all casual and well….Cas like. Sam only glanced over at him once and winced at the sight of his naked brother-in-law covered in….stuff Sam did not want to think about. It was already bad enough that he’d gotten the visual. A visual he was never getting rid of, no matter how much brain bleach he used.

It wasn't like walking in on Dean having sex was new. He’d done it too many time to remember, but this was the second time in three days and what made this time more disturbing was discover that his brother was a…..that he….god he couldn’t even think of the word. It wasn’t that it disgusted him, because Sam was the open minded of the pair. It was just that…well it was Dean and Sam would never in a million years have called that one. He shook his head in a desperate attempt to clear it from his memory bank.

He probably should have realised he was going to interrupt something, especially after the other morning, but it was 3pm and he hadn’t, seriously hadn’t, expected them to be having afternoon sex. Sure that’s what newly married couples did but….this was Dean and Cas, and well….he just hadn’t thought it through. He’d just seen the Impala in the lot, headed for the office to asked after Dean. It had only cost him twenty bucks. He hadn’t really been thinking when he’d walked into the room. The door was unlocked so he figured it was safe. He was really going to have to have words with his brother about that. They were most definitely going to have to come up with some kind of rule or signal to stop this from happening. _Like locking the God damn door._

"You going to stand there and watch us all day perv?"

Sam started at the sudden sound of his brother’s voice and he ripped his gaze away from his naked brother. He hadn’t realized he’d been staring. He’d just been so caught up in the shock of the whole thing. He dropped his gaze to the carpet and the small shards of glass that were cling to it, which was a bad bad idea, because it instantly brought back the bad bad image of Cas blowing the thing when he….Sam shook his head and turned his back to the room. "I’m going to the diner. I’ll….call me when you’re….not naked." he said rushing to the door, dropping the bag on the floor on his way out.

Outside took a deep breath and scrubbed the balls of his hands into his eyes. Pulling them away he turned, heading away from the room at a slow steady pace. The diner was at the end of the street and he marching in, taking his seat in a far booth. The waitress walked over with a warm welcoming smile and began to pour him coffee and Sam had the sudden need for something stronger. Maybe he should have headed for the bar instead.

"You look like you’ve see a ghost." the waitress, Val commented.

Sam looked up at her. "No, worse."

Val frowned down at him. "Worse?"

Sam shudder, nodded and took a long gulp of his coffee. "Far worse."

Val’s smile grew wider, though her gaze still said confusion.

Sam reached for the menu. "I’ll have the club salad thanks."

"That it?"

"Yeah, don’t think I can stomach anything else." he shuddered once more.

"Alright." Val nodded and headed off to the counter.

Sam spent the next hour staring out of the diner window and wishing he could remove his eyes and brain.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

"So the light bulb?" Dean asked with a raised brow as he struggled into his jeans. It had taken him a good ten minutes to get Jamie calm enough to lie her down and clean himself up. Cas was in the shower, the bathroom door open so Dean could hear the water running. When the angel didn’t answer Dean padded over to the doorway and lent against it, watching the movement of Cas on the other side of the glass screen. "Cas? The light bulb?"

"It was an accident Dean." the angel finally answered.

Dean pushed himself off the wood and headed to peek around the screen. "Accident? You made it blow up Cas. There’s glass still in the carpet."

Cas turned to fully face Dean, his body glistening from the spray of the water and soap. He met the man’s gaze. "I apologize Dean."

Dean narrowed his gaze, leaning back against the wall. "You did it on purpose."

Cas tilted his head innocently.

"Don’t pull that blue eyed innocent butter wouldn’t melt act, you made that bulb blow to freak Sam out."

Cas remained silent, staring at his lover. "I had no idea Sam was there."

"Liar." Dean shook his head.

Cas huffed a breath and turned back to the water. "It was an accident."

Dean rolled his eyes and laughed. "At least he’ll stop barging in on us." he sighed, turning to take a leak he hadn’t needed before listening and watching the shower water rain down on Cas.

He was just shaking off when the shower stopped and Cas stepped out. Dean grabbed the towel and handed it over, looking the angel up and down before Cas covered himself.

"I think I’m having a bad influence on you." Dean smirked.

"I’m sure heaven would agree Dean." Cas murmured, rubbing the towel over his chest.

"Do you?" Dean asked with a frown.

Cas looked up at him, his blue eyes bright and searching. Filled with sincerity. "No."

They stood in the steam filled room looking at each other. Nothing else needed to be said. Dean could feel his heart pounding against his ribs and he knew he’d made the right decision in marrying Cas.

A noise from the other room pulled them out of the moment. "I guess we should go find Sammy."

Cas nodded.

"And no more accident." Dean smirked heading for the door only to pause and look back at the angel. His brows drawn tight together. "Blowing up the lights when we first met…that was you showing off."

Cas once again met his gaze with utter innocent. "It was more an intimidation tactic." he answered matter-of-factly.

Dean raised a brow. "Huh. You know it didn’t work right."

"Now who’s lying?"

"Blow me, Cas." Dean grumbled.

"I thought you wanted to go find Sam."

And there was that little smile again. _Dammit_. Dean thought as he headed back to deal with Jamie.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Sam felt his face turn red as Dean and Cas strolled into the diner. He shifted in seat and dropped his gaze as they approached, staring down at his empty plate.

"Hey there Sammy." Dean greeted casually, taking the seat opposite him, place a carrier next to the window.

Sam looked up and swallowed uncomfortable as Cas drop down next to him. He looked between them before finally acknowledging the carrier. "What’s that?"

Dean raised a brow, reaching for the menu.

"It’s a baby Sam." Cas answered from next to the tall hunter.

Sam turned to glare at the angel. "I know that…I mean….why is it…"

"Jamie."

"Huh?" Sam frowned over at his brother.

"She's not an _IT_. Her names Jamie."

Sam’s brow drew tight together. "Jamie named her kid after herself."

"Jamie….died." Dean murmured; handing the menu over to Cas as the waitress strolled over.

"What can I get you?" Val asked with her welcoming smile.

"Special thanks and coffee."

Val jotted it down and turned to Cas.

Cas’s gaze scanned the menu, not really knowing what he wanted. Feeling no desire for food.

"He’ll take the eggs." Dean said for him. "He needs the protean." he smirked, sending Sam a look that made his brother go a brighter shade of red.

Val looked at Cas for confirmation, who looked up at her with a nod.

Sam waited for her to leave with his empty plate before turning the conversation back to the baby and his ex-one-night-stand. "What do you mean Jamie’s dead?"

Dean looked sadly down at the carrier where the small bundle was sleeping. "Complications after the birth." he sighed.

Sam stared at him wide eyed and open mouthed. There was a tense silence before he finally got his brain back in focus. "So you…..doesn’t she have family?"

Dean looked up at Sam with hard eyes. "She’s my daughter Sam; you want me to hand her over to strangers."

Sam opened his mouth to argue by Cas cut him off.

"Jamie had no family she would have trusted with her child."

Sam looked at him. "And your alright with this?" he heard himself ask for no real reason.

Cas frowned. "She is Dean’s daughter; he wishes to care for her. I have no say in the matter."

Sam and Dean both stared at him surprised.

"Cas." Dean said quietly. "I thought…you know you have a say. We’re together, you get a say in what I do now."

Cas frowned at him.

"You don’t want…."

"Here we go." Val interrupted placing the plates in front of the pair. "Anything else?" she looked at Sam.

"No thanks, we’re fine." Sam nodded with a smile that Val returned before walking away.

"Cas?" Dean whispered, leaning over the table. "I thought you were okay with this?"

Cas looked at his plate. "I…am Dean. If it’s what you want…"

Dean huffed, slouching back in his seat. "Cas."

"As I said Dean, I am merely concerned for Jamie’s safety."

"And I said we’ll deal."

"He’s right Dean. We’re got a lot happening at the moment; it’s not really the time to be playing…."

Dean glared. "I’m not playing. She’s my daughter and I’m not handing her over to Jamie asshole family or the state."

"Dean, you can’t serious expect us to do this. You want us to drag a newborn all over the country?"

"Dad did it." Dean snapped, stabbing at his food.

Sam looked at his brother seriously. "No he didn’t. He dropped us off with anyone he could until you were old enough to take care of me. Then he left us in motels for weeks on end."

Dean clenched his jaw. He didn’t need reminding of his dad’s failings. Over the past couple of years the man had slowly begun to fall from that pedestal Dean had kept him on. Adam had been the last straw. He didn’t want to turn into his dad. As weird as that sounded now. But he wasn’t, he just wasn’t, going to hand over his daughter to strangers.

"Dean?" Sam pressed.

"Look. I know we’re kinda….screwed at the moment, what with Lucifer and Zachariah, and everything but…." he looked up at the pair sternly. "I’m not abandoning her."

"Dean…"

"I said no Sam!"

"I thought you said Cas gets a say in this." Sam huffed, looking side ways at the angel who still hadn’t touched his food.

Dean swallowed. "I…" he took a deep breath. How was he meant to choose between Cas and Jamie? Why the hell couldn’t he have both like any normal person? "Cas?"

"Want ever you wish to do Dean, I’ll support you. You know that."

And didn’t that just make him feel like an asshole. "You don’t….I’m not expecting you to…you know, take care of her or anything. I know you’ve got your own stuff happening."

Cas met his gaze across the table and it was intense, and Dean felt his insides curl up.

Sam huffed at the pair of them, his eyes shifting slightly to take in the little baby. His niece. How the hell were they meant to do all of this while dealing with their heaven and hell shit? "I suppose we could…drop her off with Bobby. It’s not like he can…you know. - Or maybe Ellen will help out." Sam sighed; knowing once Dean had made up his mind there was going to be no changing it.

Dean tore his gaze from Cas and met Sam’s. "Right. Yeah. We’ll drop her off with Bobby." he nodded, before taking a relieved breath and turning all his attention on the food in front of him. "So did you find a case?"

Sam looked from Dean to Cas and shrugged. "Don’t you think we should deal with tha….Jamie before we start looking for cases?"

Dean nodded; his mouth full of food. "Right. - Cas you gonna eat that." he frowned over at the angel. "Jamie’s being cremated tomorrow, we can leave right after that."

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Three grown men and a baby sharing a single room was possibly the most awkward and uncomfortable situation in the world. Especially when two of those men were married and one had walked in on them having sex only a few hours before. But the motel was full and there really wasn’t any other option, unless Sam wanted to crash in the backseat of the Impala for the night, which he did _not_.

On top of everything things between Dean and Cas were a little strained since the diner and that was just adding to Sam discomfort. He’d only been there a few hours and now he wished he’d gone back to the salvage yard with Bobby. This had been exactly what Sam had feared when Dean had first brought up the idea of marrying Cas. He’d known it was going to get awkward and uncomfortable and that he was going to see shit that no amount of bleach was going to wash away. He’d known it and maybe it had been selfish of him but this was exactly why he hadn’t wanted it to happen.

But as much as Sam was hating the tension and the weirdness of the situation he couldn’t deny that Dean looked happy for the first time in years. Like there was no longer a lead weight resting on his shoulders. - And he wasn’t looking at Sam with that look, like he was expecting him to screw-up again any second. In fact he wasn’t paying all that much attention to Sam at all and surprisingly that helped ease the weight on the younger Winchester’s shoulders. Because for years now Dean had been watching him too closely and it was suffocating It had been why he’d fallen for Ruby’s shit to start with. Because he’d just wanted to prove to Dean that he didn’t need an overprotective big brother, he just wanted a brother. And now thanks to the new additions to their family in the forms of Cas and baby Jamie, he got that.

Sam sat at the table tapping away at his laptop trying to ignore the pair as they sat close together on the couch, whispering. When Jamie began to cry Sam turned to see Cas getting up to deal with her, the angel lifting the baby out of her crib, rocking her back and forth as he paced. Dean was on his feet in the kitchenette fixing a bottle and Sam almost laughed at who freakishly domestic the whole scene was. He’d never thought to see anything like it. He kinda wished that Dean could have that normal life he’d secretly wanted for years. Maybe when this was over, when they stopped Lucifer, then maybe they could have that.

Sam turned back to his laptop and focused on finding cases. He’d already found three that looked promising, he just wasn’t sure how they were going to do this. Hunt and look after Jamie at the same time. Dean had insisted that if their dad could do it, then so could they. But their dad hadn’t been dragging around a new born. Dean had been five when they’d hit the road, Sam a year old. And he’d had a network of helpers in the form of Pastor Jim and Bobby. But Pastor Jim was dead and Bobby…well Bobby wasn’t exactly in a position to be looking after a baby. And he knew he was going to have to bring this up at some point, but he also knew that when he did it was going to end in another argument.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

"A baby?"

Sam nodded as he perched on the hood of the Impala. He’d taken a few minutes to slip out for some fresh air. As much as he loved seeing Dean so happy, all the domesticity was beginning to suffocate him. - Reminding him of what he’d lost and was never likely to have again. He’d decided to take the time to call Bobby and fill him in on the news.

"Sam! What do you mean he’s got a baby?"

"I mean he’d got a baby. In the motel. Him and Cas are playing doting parents as I speak."

"What about the mother?"

Bobby snapped.

Sam paused for a few moments before answering. "Dead. Complications."

The line fell silent.

 _"So what’s he going to do? Does she have any family?"_ Bobby finally asked.

"No. Cas told me that her family isn’t suitable, if you know what I mean. She ran away from home as a teenager. - Now Dean wants to drag the kid with us."

"Huh."

Bobby huffed down the line.

"Its ridiculous, Bobby. We can’t hunt with a baby, but Dean won’t listen. - Not even to Cas."

"Get your asses back here."

"You’ll talk to him. Make him see sense."

"I’ll see you idijit soon. - Wait Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"What’s he call her?"

"Jamie. After her mom." Sam sighed.

"Tell Dean I want you back here."

"Alright Bobby. I’ll see you in a couple of days."


	8. Your Arms Feel Like Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: Taken from the song of the same name by 3 Doors Down

Dean groaned as sleep began to seep away bring him back to the world. Which wasn’t all that bad. Not when the first thing he saw upon opening his eyes was a mass of wayward dark hair settled on the pillow next to him. Smiling he rolled onto his side, his arm slipping around the angel’s waist, pulling him flush against Dean’s chest, while he pressed a kiss into the curve of Cas’s neck. His fingers walking a trail beneath the tee he'd lent him. The hunter smiled when Cas released a deep moan, his hands reaching to grip Dean’s wrist tightly, guiding it on instinct from below the t-shirt to the front of his underwear, as he pressed his hips forward into it. Dean would have laughed if he wasn’t painfully hard and desperately grinding himself into Cas’s hips. He’d created a monster, he was sure of that. Cas seemed to desire their physical contact more than Dean would have thought possible from the innocent angel. Not that he was complaining. Maybe marrying a virgin wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

Cas finally turned his head, allowing Dean to capture his lips. Moaning into one another’s mouths as the lust grew.

"I’ll shoot you. I swear to heaven I’ll shoot you if you have sex with me in the room!" Sam growled furiously, his head quickly being buried beneath a pillow.

Dean reluctantly dragged his mouth away, grinning as he turned to send death glares to his brother. " _You’re_ the one crashing _my_ honeymoon, Sammy. If anyone should shoot anyone, it’s me."

Sam grunted and threw the covers back; reaching for his boots and the shirt he’d discarded the previous night. Dean watched him with a raised brow, Cas leaning up on his elbows to watch a flustered Sam rush to dress.

Sam slipped on his jacket, skirting around the crib with a still sleeping Jamie and headed for the door.

"Where you going?"

"Anywhere that isn’t here. I’ve already been scared enough." Sam snapped, sending the pair a scathing bitch-face. "Don’t forget we’re heading back to Bobby’s after the funeral. - Assuming you two can tear yourselves away from one another long enough to actual attend." he grumbled as he pulled the door closed behind him, fighting the urge to slam it.

Dean laughed as he watched his brother leave, before turning back to Cas. "Now, where were we." he grinned; wrapping his hand around the back of the angel’s neck and bring their mouths back together, falling back onto the bed, Cas above him.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

The cremation wasn't as long as a proper funeral would have been. Dean had wondered if maybe Jamie might have wanted to be buried but she’d left nothing to say what she wanted and well considering how he lived he always thought cremation was the best option. Sam babbled on about resting in peace, spouting something Dean figured was religious while he silently stood there holding his daughter watching the red curtain close on the casket, silently promising to look after their little girl. And that he and Cas will be wonderful parents. He wasn’t overly sure he really believed that, but it felt like the right thing to say. - or think as the case may be.

When it was done, Dean led the way back to the Impala, opening the back door to secure Jamie into the backseat. Cringing a little at the addition of the seatbelts. With Jamie in place, and fast asleep, he turned to look at Cas and Sam who were talking in hushed voices. Most probably about him. "So. You sure you won’t come with us?" Dean asked, leaning back against the car and looked at his husband.

Cas took a few steps closer. "The time you spend driving to Bobby’s, I can use looking for my father. I will meet you there when you arrive."

Dean smiled softly. "You better." he said in a low voice. "I’ve got kinda used to you being around." he reached out for Cas’s lapel, tugging him closer to steal a long slow kiss. Sam cleared his throat but it didn’t deter Dean, who simple waved a dismissive hand and went on sliding his tongue against Castiel’s.

Finally he broke the kiss, smiling brightly at the angel. "I’ll see you in a few hours then." he nodded, pushing himself off the car door and strolling around to claim inside. Sam stepped forward yanking open the passenger side and stepping in.

"See ya Cas."

"Sam. Dean." Cas nodded.

When Dean turned to wave goodbye Cas was gone. He slumped down in his seat feeling suddenly lost and alone without his angel.

"It’s a couple of hours Dean. I’m sure you can survive." Sam mocked.

Dean glared at his brother with narrowed eyes. "Bitch."

"Jerk."

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

The drive was long and thankfully not so silent. Between Sam jabbering on about Lucifer, Michael, Cases that looked interesting and Jamie’s occasional cry, Dean found he didn’t really have much time to mope or miss Cas. It was strange how quickly he’d become attacked to the angel. Clingy Sam would probably say. But considering that he’d already died once and heaven had his name at the top of their most wanted list, Dean didn’t think he was being irrational. He knew it was a matter of time before heaven made another move, whatever that may be, and it wasn’t such a long stretch to think the halo brigade would go after Cas to get back at him. Now more than ever. That thought sobered him suddenly, his hands clenching tight around the steering wheel. He’d just painted a target on Cas with a silver ring. Sure Cas would have been a target just for being his guardian, saviour and friend. But now….now he was more than that. He was the love of Dean’s life and heaven knew that. They’d go after Cas eventually. It was only a matter of time.

"Dean?" Sam said, his voice dripping with concern. "What’s wrong?"

"Nothing."

Sam sent him that disbelieving bitch-face and waited. Dean grumbled under his breath, checked Jamie through the rear-view.

"I think I screwed up."

"What? How?"

"Marrying Cas."

Sam’s eyes widened and his turned a little more in his seat. "Oh, don’t tell me you’re having a gay crisis now? It’s a bit late for that don’t you think? I told you to think this through!"

Dean glared at him. "I’m not having a damn _crisis_. I know how I feel. - It’s just…."

"What?" Sam sighed, relaxing as he turned back around in his seat.

Dean’s fingers flexed on the wheel and he shifted in his seat. "I’m just thinking that maybe I was being selfish. - I mean…" He glanced over at his brother. "They'll going to go after him to get to me."

Sam exhaled sadly. "Probably."

"Thanks for setting my mind at ease. Really Sammy."

"What, you want me to lie? We both know what they're like. Lucifer used Jessica to screw with my head, remember. They used Bobby. They screwed with our lives and sent us into that hunt without our memories. They’ll do whatever they have to Dean. - and Cas knows that."

Dean frowned.

"He’ll be careful. - He knows how they work. How they think. He’s ready for whatever they throw his way."

"I just…." Dean shook his head.

"It wasn’t like you forced him into this Dean. He had a choice and he chose you. - Twice. I don’t think you need to worry."

"Of course I need to worry." Dean scoffed. "I worry all the time. Whether it’s over you, Bobby, Cas - and now Jamie. I’m a natural born worrier."

Sam rolled his eyes. "And don’t we all know it. - I mean stop freaking out about it all. We’ll get through this and everything will be fine. You’ll see."

"Whatever." Dean grumbled. "I’ve reached my quota for Chick-Flick moments this month." he reached for the stereo only to pause when he remembered Jamie was asleep in the backseat.

The sudden noise from Sam’s phone had Dean’s head snapping around to stare at him with a raised brow. "Who is it?"

Sam frowned down at the screen. "Chuck. - He says he needs to see us. It’s an emergency."

"Where is he?"

"The Pineview Hotel. - Wisconsin."

"You’re kidding me." Dean grumbled as he yanked on the wheel, causing the Impala to screech and skid as he did a U-turn to head back the way they came.

"Dean?"

"Um."

"What are you doing?"

"You said it was an emergency." Dean stated, sending a look into the backseat to a still sleeping Jamie.

"Yeah, but….maybe we should drop Jamie off with Bobby first."

Dean frowned amused. "An emergency tends not to leave time for dropping people off Sammy."

"But we don’t know what’s going on Dean. It could be dangerous."

Dean clenched his jaw. "If it comes down to it, I’ll call Cas to take her."

"Maybe you should do that anyway."

Dean glared at his brother. "I’m not pulling him away from whatever it is he’s going to play babysitter."

"So you’re just going to take her into God knows what?"

"Let’s just get there. Find out what’s going on and then I’ll call Cas."

There was a moment silence before Sam exhaled a surrender and nodded.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

They pulled into the Pineview Hotel to find the parking lot filled with eerily familiar cars. He got out of the Impala and looked at all the others. "Now that’s just creepy." he murmured, sharing a confused look with Sam. Dean rushed to the back door and fiddled with the seatbelt.

"Maybe you should leave her in the car?"

Dean’s head snapped up, eyes wide. "Are you serious? I’m not leaving my daughter in the car like a dog."

"Right." Sam flushed embarrassingly.

Dean lifted out the carrier and turned, knocking the door closed with his hip.

"Chuck!" Sam called as they rushed towards the entrance and found the prophet pacing back and forth.

"Sam? Dean?" he frowned, spinning to meet them. "What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean what are we doing here? You text us." Dean said.

Chuck’s eyes dropped to the carrier a second before shaking his head. "No I…Oh…" he sighed.

"You’re here!" squealed a voice from the porch that instantly had Sam going ridged. His head slowly turning.

"Did you steal my phone?" Chuck asked as Becky came bolting down the stairs, staring up at Sam with adoring eyes.

"I just borrowed it. They had to see this."

Chuck groaned.

"See what?" Dean asked, looking between the pair.

Becky turned to him. "Oooooh…" she squealed rushing close to peer into the carrier. "She’s gorgeous. Not that I’m surprised with a dad like you but still." she babbled, reaching in to the carrier to poke at Jamie’s little newborn nose.

"Why are we here?" Dean snapped, trying not to snatch his daughter away from the crazy woman.

Becky glanced up through her lashes. "For the first annual Supernatural Convention." she grinned proudly.

"The what?" Dean frowned, looking at Sam who simply shrugged.

"Come on. I’ll show you. - Is Cas coming?" she asked before taking another step.

"Cas?" Dean’s brows seemed to be permanently glued together, which wasn’t all that unusual around Becky Rosen.

"You’re husband silly. Chuck told me all about him and I read some of the new books. I knew you weren’t straight." she grinned with pride. "You were so obviously over compensating." she shook her head.

"Over compensating?" Dean sent the prophet a death glare that had him flushing and practically running up the stairs.

"Come on." Becky laughed, rushing up the stairs.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

Dean did call Cas, but not for babysitting duty. As soon as he was able to get the hell away from Becky long enough, he slipped outside to call his angel. Leaving Jamie with Sam.

"Where are you?" he asked softly, his back pressed against the Impala’s hood.

" _Indonesia_." Cas informed him. " _Have you arrived at Bobby’s_?"

"No. We kinda got sidetracked by Chuck."

"Why? Does he have information? - Does he know where God is?"

Dean sighed at the desperation in Cas’s voice. "Afraid not. Sorry Cas. It turns out he didn’t text us. It was that crazy fan that’s in love with Sam. You know the creepy one I told you about."

"Becky?"

"That’s her. She called us here for some…." he clenched his jaw and pressed his fingers into the bridge of his nose. "….convention."

"A what?"

"A convention. It where all the other weird and creepy fan’s of those damn Supernatural books hang out pretending to be Me and Sam. - I’ve even seen a few guys and girls dressed as Bobby. Have to admit I can’t wait to tell him about that. I took photos."

"They are good books Dean."

"If you say so. Personally it freaks me out reading about my own life."

"But they're not for you. There so the world will know what you have done."

"Except they don’t know its real Cas. They think me and Sam are just these made up characters. They don’t get that this is our lives. It’s not some fucking game for them to have fun with." Dean spat with disgust.

There was silence on the other end of the line. The only sound, Cas’s breathing and Dean found the sound strangely soothing. "Where are you going after Indonesia?" Dean asked in a sudden and much needed change of subject.

"I don’t know?"

"How about you come home." Dean hated how much he sounded like a pinning teenager.

"Home?"

"Yeah. We’ll probably hit the road in a few hours."

"Call me when you’re at Bobby’s like we planned."

"Or you could be there waiting for me."

"Dean! You better get in here! Now!" Sam yelled from the top of the porch steps.

"I’ve got to go. Sam’s freaking out about something. Probably Becky. - I’ll see you when we get to Bobby’s."

"Of course."

"Oh, Cas."

"Yes Dean."

Dean knew what he wanted to say, he just couldn’t get the words past his lips.

"I know Dean."

Cas whispered roughly. _"I share your feelings."_

Dean smiled and reluctantly ended the call. Of course he didn’t need to say it. Cas already knew.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

They pulled into Singer’s Salvage a couple of hours after sunset a day later than planned, feeling tired and sore. Their trip to the so-called Convention had turned into an actual hunt. - What were the chances? - Sam and Dean had gotten thrown around by some extremely creepy psycho dead kids who apparently took playing Cowboys and Indians one step too far. Dean had to admit the whole day had given him a new view on a lot of things. Including his life and Chuck writing about it. And on top of that, they’d gotten a lead on the Colt from a surprising source. Apparently having a super obsessive fan had its perks.

Dean releases a sigh of relief as he pulled up outside Bobby’s place. It had been more like home to him than anywhere else in the world. Even his own house back in Lawrence. That place just held bad memories, while Bobby’s he’d a share of both good and bad. And it was the only place Dean ever truly felt safe. Putting the Impala into park, he pushed open the door the same instant Sam did. "Can you grab Jamie?" he asked as he headed for the boot to grab their stuff. While Sam unfastened the carrier from the backseat, Dean pulled out Sam’s and his own duffels, Jamie’s travel crib and the new large duffle they’d brought to carry the million and one baby things. Sam chuckled as he watched Dean load himself up like a pack mule.

"Shut up." Dean snapped, shifting his and Sam’s duffle bags on his shoulder while trying not to drop the crib.

"What? I didn’t say a word." Sam grinned, turning towards the house. Murmuring something to Jamie he couldn’t quiet catch.

Dean followed slowly behind them. Stepping into the warm house he dropped the stuff by the door, inhaling a lungful of home. His eyes closed as he savoured the feeling. He wished Cas had been there to greet him. He pulled out his phone and was about to hit speed-dial when Bobby’s voice called with a strangely hushed tone.

"Get you ass in here and start talkin’"

Dean felt every muscle in his body relax and a smile spread across his lips as he headed for the study to see Bobby cradling his daughter, while Sam slouched in a chair. "Nice to see you too." Dean grinned, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe, his phone still waiting in his palm to be used.

Bobby didn’t raise his eyes from where he was staring at the newborn. "So, married and a father in the space of seventy-two hours, that’s got to be some kind of record."

"I doubt it." Dean chuckled.

Finally Bobby looked up at him and Dean was surprised to see…not what he was expecting. - He’d expected to see anger, concern, fury. He expected the same argument he’d gotten from Sam and Cas. But all that he saw in Bobby’s gaze was acceptance and….was that pride? "You can’t take her hunting with you." he stated matter-of-factly.

Dean locked gazes. "I’m not handing her over to the state!"

"Did I say that?" Bobby snapped, insulted. "But you can’t drag her out on hunts, you know that."

Dean shoulders sagged. "Yeah."

Bobby gave a sharp nod. "You’re other half is waiting for you. Room at the end of the hall. It’s all nice, clear and airing. I put him to work the moment he got here"

Dean straightened, his head snapping around to stare at the stairs. "Cas?"

Bobby rolled his eyes. "No you idijit, Doris Day." He turned to Sam. "You’ve got the one next to it. Sorry but the walls aren‘t exactly sound proof." then he dropped his gaze back to Jamie where he smiled brightly and mumbled softly to her. "What are you waiting for? She’s fine here for now."

Dean didn’t need telling twice. He took the stairs two at a time and practically ran down the hall, crashing into the bedroom to find Cas wearing a faded t-shirt and jeans that didn’t quiet fit, fussing with the bed. He didn’t even look up when Dean stumbled over the threshold and drew to a halt. Dean stared at the angel, his heart leaping into his throat as a memory slammed into him. The last time he’d seen Cas in jeans had been when Zach had sent him into the future. That trip had helped push him into confronting his feelings. He’d hoped that if they were together he could avoid them both turning into those people. Now seeing him looking so much like that other Cas caused an uncomfortable weight to settle in his chest.

Sucking in a sharp breath Dean stepped further into the room, kicking the door closed behind him. Slowly he made his way to his angel, determinedly telling himself that he wouldn’t let that happen to them. Dean slipped his arms around the other man’s waist, pressing his lips beneath Cas’s ear. "What are you doing?"

"Bobby said that if I was staying I should make myself useful."

Dean grinned into the angel’s neck. "By fixing up a room for us? What’s with the clothes?" he tugged at the t-shirt.

"Bobby said these would be better for cleaning in."

"You cleaned?"

Cas turned his head to frown at Dean.

"You didn’t just click your fingers and angel mojo it liveable?"

"No." the angel shook his head. "I thought it would be best if I restrained from using my ‘mojo’ as much as possible."

"Why?"

"Because when I use my powers heaven can locate me. - And where I am, you are."

Dean stared at the clear sound of concern in the angel voice, his arms tightening around Cas. "So no more exploding light bulbs?"

Cas grinned as he turned in the hunter’s arms. "No."

The pair locked gazes for a few moments before Dean closed the gap between them, pressing his lips to the angel’s as he struggled out of his jacket and shirt. The items dropped with a muffled thud on the floorboards. Dean’s hands quickly going for the hem of Cas’s tee, while the angel went for his. Bizarrely they hadn’t worked out the kinks of getting one another underdressed quite yet, so it was once again a tangle of limbs as they rushed. Tumbled back onto the bed with a huff, their lips rarely leaving each other.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Sam groaned as he rushed down the stairs, the disturbing sounds of his brother and his lover ringing after him, bring images back to mind. He reached the study to find Bobby still cradling his niece, talking softly to her. Sam couldn’t help but smile. Bobby turned as he entered.

"Everyone settled in?" he laughed.

"You couldn’t have stuck them in the basement. Or better yet out in the yard. - I swear it’s never been so disturbing." Sam shook his head.

"It’s not like you thought Dean was a virgin. - Is it really such a problem? Didn’t you tell Dean it wasn’t going to bother you?"

"I’m not bothered, and it’s not a problem. - It’s just….I walked in on them."

"So. I doubt it’s the first time you‘ve walked in on Dean."

"It’s not. But it was….I don’t know." Sam shrugged, rushing through to the kitchen. He yanked open the refrigerator and snatched a cold beer before returning to the study. "It’s just different. I guess it’s just going to take some getting used to. Seeing Dean like that."

"Happy?" Bobby frowned.

"Yeah." Sam sighed before lifting his beer to his lips. "And I’m still worried about…." he nodded at the little girl in the older man’s arms.

"What about her?"

Sam looked at his friend and mentor like he’d grown a second head.

"You can’t expect Dean to give her up." Bobby said in a harsh tone.

"It would be better for her."

"Would it?"

"You don’t think?"

"I think family is important." Bobby murmured gazing down at the baby, his features filled with longing and regret.

"I just don’t want her to get caught in the crossfire. We’re heading into Lord knows what. I’m just scare we’re putting her in danger. - And what happens if we all die? She’ll be all alone, Bobby. Wouldn’t it be better to give her away now before…?"

"Before what?"

Sam shrugged, dropping down on the old man’s bed, his head falling into his hand. "I don’t know. - Before Dean gets attached."

"If we all die, then at least Dean will have had a chance to know her. - Don’t you think he deserves this, no matter how long it lasts?"

Sam inhaled deeply, staring down at his bottle. "What about hunting?"

"I looked after you boys. I can care from this one." Bobby replied with pride in his voice.

 

　

　


	9. Any Way You Want It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title taken from the song by Journey.

 

"You’re sure about this?" Bobby asked from behind his desk, looking between the brothers.

"Believe me, that girl knows more about our damn lives than we do." Dean grimbled.

"Here. Read it for yourself." Sam said, dropping the paperback in front of the older man. "It’s all in there."

Bobby flipped through the papers. "So by any chance does it say where this Crowley is?"

Dean sighed frustratingly, propping himself up against the doorway, a beer hanging from his fingers. "What do you think?" he shifted his gaze to watch Cas, sat on Bobby’s bed feeding Jamie.

"What about you? You know where this demon is?"

Cas looked up from the little girl in his arms to meet Bobby’s questioning gaze. "No. - But I could probably find him."

"Good." Bobby nodded. "At least one of you idjits is being useful."

"Dean."

The hunter turned to face the angel as he held out Jamie to him. "What, bored already?" he smirked.

"No, I am not bored. But I am unable to take her with me while I locate Crowley. - It would put her in danger."

Dean’s brows knitted together. "Now? You don’t have to go now Cas."

"The sooner I begin the search the sooner we will have the Colt and can stop Lucifer."

"It’s not like we’re on the clock here. As long as me and Sammy don’t give in we’ve got time."

"Dean, Cas is right. We don’t know how long we have before they really start piling on the pressure." Sam said with a look of determination.

Dean huffed as he placed his beer on the bookshelf and took hold of his daughter. "Fine. Call when you’ve got something." he grumbled petulantly.

Cas stared at him for a few seconds with a raised scolding brow before vanishing.

"Just think of it this way. As soon as all this is over two can play happy families to your hearts content." Sam smiled reassuringly.

Dean grumbled under his breath as he took Cas’s abandoned seat to finish feeding Jamie.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean stared up at the ceiling. It was odd how quickly he’d become used to sharing a bed with someone. How much the cold space beside him made his chest ache? He watched the shadows pass across the room, his eyes flickering to the crib in the corner. Flipping onto his front, he buried his face into the pillow Cas had laid on a few hours before, inhaling his fresh unearthly scent. He lifted his head after a few deep inhales and glanced at the clock. 4:15am. In the three hours since he’d come to bed he’d had the maximum of probably twenty minutes sleep, the bed feeling so empty beside him. He’d contemplated called Cas, demanding he come back, but he knew he couldn’t. He was reluctant to admit that his angel and his brother had a point. The sooner Lucifer was dealt with, the sooner they could all get on with their lives. - It didn’t mean he had to like it though.

Throwing himself onto his back once more he grumbled nonsense under his breath and tried to clear his head. It didn’t take long for his mind to conjure up his blue eyed angel and the memory of that afternoon. Of Cas on his knees gripping tight to the iron bed frame while Dean clung to his hips. He could still hear the man's deep throaty moans. - Or were they his own? As his hand slid beneath the covers. It wasn’t the same, but it was all he had.

He was so close when the phone rang on the nightstand and he quickly scrambled to answer before it woke Jamie. His vision still a blur and his irritation immense. "What?" he snapped without caring who he was talking to.

_"Dean? What’s wrong?"_

Dean’s heart skipped at the sound of the gravely voice he’d wanted to hear. His hand immediately returning to his abandoned erection. "Nothing." he breathed.

_"You were calling for me."_

Dean felt his face heat. "There’s….nothing wrong." he took a breath as a spark of pleasure shot though him. "I was just thinking about you."

_"Out loud? - You sounded….distressed."_

"Well I was…a little. But only because your not here and I want you here. So I was thinking about this afternoon." he replied calmly, his hand stroking slowly as he listened to the angels breathing. He could see Cas’s confused innocent look in his minds eye.

_"Oh."_

"I was thinking about how tight and hot you were." Dean heard himself whisper, his heart racing at the prospect of actually having phone sex with his angelic no so innocent husband. "How rough it was without lube." he heard Cas swallow hard and he had to clench his jaw to stop from moaning. Cas didn’t seem to have the same self control and his gravely moan shot straight to Dean dick. "You’re thinking about it too, aren’t you?"

 _"Yes."_ Cas croaked.

"Where are you?"

 _"New York."_ Cas replied breathlessly.

"Find somewhere private. A restroom. An ally. Somewhere no one can see you." Dean said in a rush, yanking his hand from his shorts to skim out of them, before settling back against the pillows. "Cas?"

_"Yes Dean."_

"Where are you?"

_"R-restroom."_

Dean grinned, his hand slipping back beneath the covers. "Cas go into on of the cubical and close the door."

_"Dean?"_

"Trust me. You’ll like this." he listened to Cas moving around. Heard the echo of his shoes on tiles, then the bang of a door. "Lock it. - Cas sit and open you pants. Pull them down and your underwear too…." he closed his eyes, listening to the movement on the other end of the line, the image of Cas clearly imprinted on the back of his eyelids.

_"Dean?"_

"Touch yourself Cas. Like you do to me." he whispered, moaning as Cas let out a surprised gasp. "Are your eyes closed?"

_"Yes."_

"Think of me, try to picture me." Dean let out a broken groan. "Can you see me Cas?"

_"Yes Dean. You’re….touching your…"_

Dean released a pathetic whimper, cutting Cas off. "I wish you were here Cas. I wish it was my hand wrapped around your dick. Making you moan. Moan for me Cas. I want to hear you…." Dean’s blood raced at the deep sound echoing down the line. "Ahhh. Cas." he panted. "I want you s-so bad right n-now." he murmured his voice rough and heavy with desire. "I w-want you in my mouth. In my body. I…w-want you slamming into me s-so h-hard the whole h-house shakes."

_"D-De-an!"_

Dean knew the sound Cas made when he climaxed, and hearing it now brought on his own almost immediately. He slouched breathlessly down in the bed, dragging his soiled hand from beneath the covers. He dropped the phone for a few seconds as he manoeuvred his t-shirt off and used it to clean himself up. Tossing it to the side, he grabbed the cell once more. "Cas?" There was no sound but that of heavy breathing. "Cas, use the toilet paper to clean yourself up and wash you hands." he listed to the muffled movements that told him the angel was following his instructions.

It was another few minutes before Cas’s deep hoarse voice broke the silence. _"Dean?"_

"I’m still here. Are you okay?"

_"Yes."_

Dean grinned into the darkness as he felt sleep taking hold of him.

_"You should sleep Dean."_

"Yeah. Are you going to be alright?"

_"Yes. I’ll call you in a few hours. Goodnight Dean."_

"Don’t take too long finding this guy Cas. I want you home."

_"I’ll try to locate him quickly Dean. I want to come home too."_

Dean grinned into the pillow, his eyelids heavy and impossible to keep open. "Night Cas."

 _"Sleep well Dean."_ Cas whispered softly.

Those were the last words Dean heard before sleep pulled him under.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

Dean wasn’t sure which woke him first. Jamie’s wailing or the incessant ring of his phone. Groaning Dean made an executive decision that his daughter’s needs were his first priority. Throwing back the covers Dean climbed out of the bed and bent to retrieve his shorts before rushing to the crib to lift Jamie out. "Morning sweetheart." he murmured, cradling her to his chest. Padding back to the nightstand he lifted the still ringing phone, his heart clenching at Cas’s name flashing on the caller ID. "Hey Cas. Sorry. Jamie was crying."

_"Got him. Crowley is making a deal, even as we speak its….going down."_

Dean bit back a laugh at the phasing, while rocking his daughter in his arms. His mind instantly filling with inappropriate images. "Going down?" he mimicked unable to hold the laughter any longer. "Okay Huggy Bear. Just don’t lose him will you."

_"I won’t."_

Dean stared down at the suddenly dead line, shaking his head. He turned his gaze to his whining baby with a chuckle. "I think I’m going to have to talk to him about the proper way to use a pause. - Though knowing him, he did that on purpose. - Alright lets get you fed huh." snagging a shirt off the duffle bag as he passed, Dean headed for the stairs. Sparing a moments look at Sam’s door. Wondering if he was up yet. _Probably_.

He barely reached the bottom step before his phone began to ring once again. He didn’t bother checking the caller ID, just hitting the button with his thumb as he walked throw the study towards the kitchen.

_"I followed him. It’s not far. But its layered in Enochian warding sigils. I can’t get in."_

"It’s okay. You did great. Get back here and we’ll work out….." Dean didn’t even bother looking over his shoulder; he simple ended the call and set the phone on the kitchen counter.

"He’s at a house a few hours away." Cas said from behind the hunter.

Dean turned, handing the little girl over to the angel, before turning back to the counter to begin preparing her bottle.

"Hey Cas." Sam grumbled as he strolled into the kitchen. "Wait are you meant….?"

"He found him." Dean replied, setting the water to boil.

"I can’t get into the house, and he has demons guarding the perimeter." Cas informed the younger hunter as he took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Oh." Sam nodded, pacing over to the counter to fetch himself a mug of coffee. "So what’s the plan?"

Dean stood scooping formula into the bottle. "Well have to call in reinforcements."

"Where’s Bobby?" Sam asked, turning to the refrigerator.

I believe he’s outside."Cas replied, his arms jerking Jamie in a rhythmic soothing motion. "

The front door opened a few seconds later as Bobby rolled in, heading straight for the kitchen. "I take it you found him?"

Cas nodded.

"I think we’ll need to call in Ellen, Jo and maybe Rufus." Dean informed him as he poured water into the bottle.

"I’ll give ‘em a call." Bobby nodded, wheeling himself back to the desk.

Dean turned handing the bottle over to Cas, who paused for a few moments before raising it to Jamie’s lips.

"Wow Cas, that’s ho…." Sam snapped with wide fearful eyes.

Dean and Cas looked at him.

"It is fine Sam." Cas reassured.

Sam looked between the angel and the baby, waiting for her to begin screaming at the scolding milk, only to see the girl sucking insistently on the bottle. Dean chuckled as he yanking open a cupboard and pulling out a box of cereal.

"Angel mojo Sammy. A parents best friend."

Sam stared at his brother. "So you have a plan?" he asked; snatching the box from his brother’s hands.

"Bitch. - Breakfast first, planning later." Dean grumbled, reaching for the coffee pot before heading for the kitchen table. Bowing to press a kiss to Cas lips before taking a seat.

Heading into the study with his bowl of cereal, Sam rolled his eyes at Bobby. "I think I’m going to get diabetes from all the sweetness."

"It’ll be just punishment…" Dean called from the kitchen. "…for always stealing the last of the Lucky Charms."

"Whatever Jerk!"

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean grinned as Jo and Ellen marched into Bobby’s place later that afternoon. It had been the first he’d seen them since River Pass. He suddenly felt a wave of guilt. He hadn’t even called them to tell them about him and Cas. Though he knew Bobby had probably done that, but that really wasn’t the point. Ellen and Jo were the closest thing him and Sam had to family besides Bobby, he should have told them. In fact thinking about it, he hadn’t told them about Cas. Dean shook his head to himself, raking his hand through his hair as Ellen approached. He flinched at the steel in her gaze. The last time she’d looked at him like, she’d hit him for not calling her after escaping the pit. "I’m sorry." he said quickly, both hands shooting up in defence. "It was kinda spur of the moment."

Ellen looked at him disbelievingly. "It’s been almost a week." she clarified coolly.

Dean swallowed. "Uh we were kinda busy." he flushed without realizing it, causing Jo to laugh.

"Awe, ain’t he cute." Jo teased, bypassing her mom to grab at Dean’s cheek and give it a wiggle.

"I’m not _four_." Dean grumbled, grabbing her wrist lightly and pulling it away from his face.

"Could've fooled me." Ellen remarked, looking around and finally noticing Cas stood stiffly on the threshold of the kitchen with Jamie in his arms.

"So this must be the unlucky guy." Ellen smiled, taking a step towards Cas. "Or I guess I should say unlucky angel. Cas right?"

Cas nodded, frowning deeply. "Unlucky?"

"Getting lumbered with this jerk." Jo laughed, elbowing Dean in the side while grinning brightly up at him.

"I was not _‘lumbered'_ with Dean. I chose to be with him because we share a profound bond of love and friendship." Cas relied seriously, his eyes burning into Jo’s.

Dean stared over at the angel, his lips quirking at the corners and his heart pounding. They’d never used the L-word to each other, and Dean wasn’t sure he’d ever said it. Wasn’t sure he could. He chewed on the inside of his lip as the whole room fell awkwardly silent.

"Sam get me a bucket will ya. These idijit are making me wanna barf." Bobby grumbled, rolling over to the desk.

"Stop being an unromantic old coot Bobby Singer." Ellen scolded. "If anyone deserves to be happy it’s these two." she glanced at Sam. "Your next you know." she grinned.

Sam shuffled on his feet. He hadn’t thought about the future or marriage, and the idea of dating anyone made his stomach churn, especially since Ruby. - Though Lucifer’s mind games involving Jess were bring up things he’d rather keep buried. "Not this side of the apocalypse." he forced a laugh.

Ellen seemed to suddenly remember what had brought them to this moment and sobered, giving the boy a nod before turning back to Cas. "So, this must be….Jamie?"

Cas nodded, watching Ellen as she moved closer to get a better look at the little girl in his arms.

"May I?" Ellen asked, holding out her arms for the baby.

Cas paused an uncertain moment, glancing at Dean before stepping forward and handing the little girl over, then stepping back to watch as Ellen played what could only be described as dotting grandmother. Rocking Jamie gently from side to side, murmuring softly to her. She turned to look at Dean with a bright warm and almost proud grin. "Thankfully she doesn’t look anything like you." she teased.

"Gee thanks." Dean rolled his eyes.

Jo strolled over to join her mother, leaning over Jamie, her fingers brushing lightly at her small hand. "I don’t know, I think she’s got his mouth." she smiled warmly over at the hunter.

"You can say that again." Sam groaned, rubbing at his face.

"Keeping you up Sam?" Jo asked; a mischievous look in her eyes. "You sure that’s the baby and not…." she jerked her head in Dean's direction.

"Hey. No bedroom talk in front of my little girl."

Sam stared at his brother with wide eyes. "Your kidding right? You and Cas are practically humping every second…."

"Sam!" Bobby and Dean snapped at the same moment. Dean glancing over to see Cas slightly flushed, his head bowed.

"I’m going to….keep an eye on Crowley." Cas mumbled before vanishing.

"Great Sam." Dean snapped, waving his arm towards where Cas had been standing. "He’s only been back a few hours."

Sam at least had the decency to look contrite, though more for Cas’s sake than his brothers. "Well at least Ellen and Jo won’t have to watch you two groping each other at the kitchen table."

Dean glared at his brother. "Bitch." he murmured before marching out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Bobby called after him.

"To try and get Cas back here." he said, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he left the house.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Cas didn’t return to the house until Dean, Sam and Jo arrived at Crowley’s mansion in one of Bobby’s battered old cars. Dean insisting that he return to the salvage yard as there wasn’t anything he could do with the house covered in warding magic. Cas spent the next few hours sat in his and Dean’s room with Jamie. He’d sat down with Bobby and Ellen for a while when he returned but it had been awkward. He wasn’t good at conversation, as Dean would attest. And he didn’t really have anything to talk to either of the hunters about. So when Jamie had fallen asleep in Ellen’s arms Cas had taken the opportunity to escape, preparing a bottle and announcing that he was going to take her to bed. He hadn’t been all that surprised that neither of the hunters protested his exit.

So he sat on the bed, still dressed in his suit and over-coat, listening to Jamie breathe. He closed his eyes and reached out with his senses, connecting with what Dean had not-so-affectionately named ‘angel radio’. He could hear some of his brothers and sisters talking, nothing important. They obviously knew that he’d be able to hear so were keeping the chatter sparse. A knot tightened in is stomach at the idea he was considered a traitor and a threat among his family, when all he’d tried to do was the right thing. He wondered if heaven knew about him and Dean; then shook his head. Of course they knew. He’d probably been under surveillance since the moment he’d saved Dean and Sam from Zachariah. So why hadn’t they done something? Dragged him back to heaven like last time?

A chill ran down Cas’s back at the memory of being pulled out of his vessel and back to heaven. It had felt like an eternity trapped in that room. Listening to Zachariah and the others telling him that he was wrong for caring about Dean. Reminding him over and again that he was an angel. Pure. That he should not allow himself to be corrupted by human emotions that weren’t his own. Zachariah had taken great pains in trying to convince him that what he was feeling wasn’t real. That it was a side effect from joining with his vessel. Cas had known instantly that it was a lie. He’d felt something for Dean long before Jimmy had said yes. He’d felt it the moment he’d laid hands on Dean in hell. The moment he touched that fractured and broken soul he’d fallen in love. He hadn’t had a name for it then, but now he knew that’s what it had been, and nothing Zachariah had said could shake his belief in that.

Or at least that’s what he’d told himself. But he’d been there for a long time. Listening to his brothers. His superiors. Cut off from earth and Dean. He’d even begun to wonder if Dean was even real. Then Zachariah had shown him that Dean was real and that he cared nothing for Cas. He’d shown Cas things. Things Cas still carried in the recesses of his mind. Dean and Jamie. Dean’s love for Jo. Dean’s affection for Lisa. Dean and Anna. - Though Cas had already known about that encounter. Uriel had taken great pleasure in sharing that piece of information. - Then Zachariah had looked at him with understanding and sympathy. Had told him that it wasn’t his fault. That Dean would never care for him the way heaven did. That Cas had to choose between the love of his father and Dean. And Cas had chosen. - Wrongly.

He was startled out of his thoughts by his phone. Reaching for it quickly so as not to disturb Jamie, he lifted it to his ear. Knowing it could only one of two people. "Dean."

_"Hey. We’re on our way home. We got the Colt and we know were Lucifer’s going to be."_

"How?" Cas frowned, swinging his legs off the bed.

_"I’ll explain when I get home. Is Jamie okay?"_

"She’s fine Dean. She’s sleeping."

Dean was silent for a long moment. _"I’ll see you soon, okay."_ he murmured.

"Yes Dean."

There was another long silence, before Dean cleared his throat and murmured a _"See ya."_ and hanging up.

Cas placed the phone into his pocket and got to his feet. Glancing at the crib where Jamie slept soundly, he pulled open the door and crossed the threshold, supposing he should inform Bobby and Ellen of Dean, Sam and Jo’s success.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean took another swig of his beer. They’d been back over two hour and after they’d spent the first hour filling Ellen, Bobby and Cas in on what had happened with Crowley, and making a plan of attack, they’d settled in to relax. Dean sat with his brother going over the maps for the fifth time, while Cas sat in the kitchen with Ellen and Jo, drinking. Ellen challenging his husband to a drinking contest. Dean couldn’t fight the grin on his face as he watched Cas throw back drink after drink.

Stretching out his back Dean got to his feet, smiling down at his brother. They’d gone over everything, there was nothing more to be done except cross their fingers and pray it worked. Not that heaven was in any rush to answer their prayers. Stepping around the desk, Dean marched towards the kitchen, pressing his shoulder against the partitioning wall as he watched Ellen through back her five shots before turning to Cas.

"Alright Big Boy, go."

Dean bit back a grin at the nickname as he watched Cas throw back another round of vodka, slamming the glasses down one after another. A swell of pride at the impressed and somewhat shocked looks on the womens faces.

"I think I’m starting to feel something." Cas said once he’d finished.

Jo’s gaze lifted to meet Dean’s as she grinned. He stepped into the kitchen behind Cas, his free hand resting naturally on the curve of the angel's neck. His thumb brushing absently against the man’s collarbone. Leaning down to whisper in Cas's ear. "You ready for bed, _Big Boy_." he grin, his lips brushing against the shell.

Cas turned his head to meet Dean with heavy lidded eyes. They’d barely had two minutes to themselves all day, between Crowley, Jamie and the arrival of Ellen and Jo. Dean’s thumb rubbed at the back of Cas’s neck as he tried to get a grip on his wayward lust.

Cas eventually pushed back his chair and got to his feet, swaying just a little.

"Before you two idjits vanish. Get in here." Bobby grumbled as he fiddled with a camera. "Everyone!"

"Oh come on Bobby. No one what their photo taken." Ellen whined, as she followed Dean and Cas into the study.

"In the corner!" Bobby ordered.

Dean pulled Cas into his side as Ellen stood in front of him and Sam to his right, his arm around Jo’s shoulder. Finally Bobby joined them.

"I’m gonna need something to remember your asses." Bobby grumbled as Ellen wrapped her arms around his shoulders, laughing.

"He’s right. Tomorrow we hunt the devil. This is our last night on earth." Cas remarked casually. A heavy weight to his voice that told Dean he was anxious and mournful. A feeling they all suddenly shared.

Dean tightened his arm around Cas’s shoulder, pulling them tighter together. His head turned just a little to press his lips against the angel’s temple as the flash of camera went off, capturing the moment.


	10. Came The Last Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Chapter Title taken from the Song: Don't Fear The Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult. 
> 
> Some of the diologue is taken from the Supernatural episode Abandon All Hope. I do not own those part, they are courtasy of Ben Edlund.

Dean and Cas took the stairs slowly, Cas’s optimistic announcement that they were all going to die had sucked the lust right out of the hunter. He hadn’t allowed himself to think how wrong it could all go. How he could die. How they could all die.

Walking into the bedroom in front of Cas he shrugged out of his shirt, dropping it absent-mindedly as he headed over to the crib. Bracing his palms against the side as he stared down at his little girl. He sucked in a breath at the realisation that Sam and Cas had been right. He’d been selfish in not giving Jamie up and now he had to face the prospect of leaving her an orphan. Sure she’d have Bobby, but was it fair on him? He wasn’t exactly in the prime of life. And he wasn’t a hundred percent either.

“Dean?” Cas’s voice rang softly in his ear. Well, as softly has it could.

He didn’t turn to face the angel. “You were right. Okay.” he heard and felt Cas moving closer to him. Inhaling deeply as a large heavy hand rested on his shoulder.

“Dean….”

“Look. I messed up.” he sighed, hanging his head. “I should have listened to you. But then when have I ever done that? Huh. I never listen to you and people get hurt.”

Cas’s fingers tightened on his shoulder and he was forced to turn. “She’s your daughter, Dean. You have every right to want her.”

“Yeah, but now she’s going to be alone.”

“Are you planning on going somewhere?” Cas asked quietly.

Dean glared at him hard. “You said so yourself Cas. This is our last night on earth. Tomorrow we die.”

“Or we don’t. I just meant that we shouldn’t take what tomorrow means too lightly. We need to remember that we are facing Lucifer. It won’t be easy.”

Dean shook his head.

“Dean. I swear, I won’t let anything happen to you. - Or them.”

“You might not be able to stop it Cas.”

Cas watching him closely. His hand dropping from his shoulder where it had been resting.

“Cas?”

The angel turned away from the hunter, walking silently to the bed and lowering himself on the edge.

“Cas?” Dean murmured, moving to join him.

“This is all my fault.” Cas sighed.

“Huh?” Dean frowned.

“I should have told you? I should have helped you sooner. If I’d told you what was happening. Heaven’s plans. If I’d helped you get to Sam, you could have stopped him.”

Dean’s back straightened, his lips pressed tight together.

“Then we wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t have to walk into this fight and risk not coming out. - You wouldn’t be leaving…..”

“Cas. Cas!” he gripped the angel’s shoulders, forcing him to turn. “I won’t lie to you. I wish you’d have told me what was being planned. I wish you’d helped me sooner than you did. I wish we hadn’t have had to have that fight for you to see what was right.”

Cas inhaled sharply, his head dropping forward guiltily.

“ _But_ ….I don’t think it would have changed all that much. The problem wasn’t you not telling me Cas. It was Sam and me not trusting each other. It was Sam lying to me, and me trying to hold on to him too tight. - It was _Ruby_.” he said with an ring of pure hatred. “If I’d killed her the first day I saw her she wouldn’t have been able to mess with Sam the way she did. If I’d taken a moment to really look at Sam, I would have seen it earlier. But I didn’t. - Sure you could have told me about Sam instead of sending me on the wild time-travel goose-chase into the past….”

“I didn’t know about Sam then. Not….” Cas shook his head. “I didn’t know what it meant. They didn’t tell me Dean and by the time I found out it was already too late.”

Dean nodded. “I’m just saying, this isn’t on you Cas.” his hand gripped the angel’s neck, rubbing circles with his thumb. “Me and Sam did this.”

Cas shook his head. “No. You didn’t know any more…..”

“Yeah, Cas, we did. I knew Sam wasn’t right. Deep down I knew. - And Sam knew what he was doing was wrong, or he wouldn’t have lied to me about it.”

Cas stared at him for a long moment before inclining his head in surrender. “So what are you going to do? About Jamie.”

Dean turned to glance at the crib. “I’ll talk to Bobby. Organize something in case we don’t make it back. - I…..I’m sure we can think of something.”

Cas’s hand pressed against Dean’s jaw comfortingly and the hunter turned into the touch. “I’ll do everything I can to bring you all home Dean.” Cas whispered determinedly.

“I know you will.” Dean smiled; meeting the angel’s intense if somewhat dulled blue eyes.

It was unclear who moved first, and frankly neither of them cared, they just needed to touch. If this was their last night on earth, Dean had every intention of making the most of it.

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean stepped as quietly as he could past Bobby. The old man laid out on his bed, still fully dressed and on top of the covers. It was 4am and Jamie was grizzling for a bottle. Dean had left her with Cas and come down to make it, telling the angel he wanted to stretch his legs. The truth was he needed time to think. The closer it got to departure time, the worst Dean’s fear became. It wasn’t facing Lucifer that was praying on his mind, it was what would happen to Jamie. He’s lain away the past hour thinking over and over what to do. Whether in the long run it would be better to just hand Jamie over to the state. Though it would kill him to do so. Swallowing hard he reaching for the kettle and set the water to boil. Leaning his backside against the counter he crossed his arms, closed his eyes and waited.

“Dean?”

He opened his eyes to see Bobby sat in front of him, worry in his features. “Hey. Just fixing Jamie a bottle. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Wasn’t sleeping.” Bobby shook his head, rolling over to the refrigerator to grab himself a morning beer. Holding one out to Dean, who stared at it for a long moment before giving into temptation and taking it.

“Thanks.” he sighed, twisting the cap.

“So what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Dean answered after taking a long gulp. “What makes you think something’s wrong.”

“Well first, I’ve known you since you were six years old. Second….its written all over your face.”

Dean lowered his bottle and stared at it sadly. “Jamie.”

“Is she alright?” Bobby said quickly, his voice tight with concern.

“She’s fine. I…..I just….” Dean took a deep breath and looked up to meet the old man’s gaze. “If we die….”

Bobby cut him off with a hard glare and a raised hand. “Don’t even think it. You boys will be bringing your asses home or I’m going to do some mojo and trap your asses in the men’s locker rooms at a Japanese Sumo club for eternity.”

Dean’s eyes widened. “You’re an evil man Bobby Singer.” he smirked a little, but it soon faded. “Seriously Bobby. If we…..I don’t expect you to look after Jamie.”

“What?”

“I mean…..your…..look your not exactly in a potion to take care of a new born so if we die I want you to find a family to take her. - I was thinking maybe….maybe you could call Lisa….she might….” he shrugged.

“You…..” Bobby growled. “…..if something happens to you I’m not letting that little girl out of my sight. Clear. She’s family!” he said sharply.

“Bobby.”

“Shut up!” Bobby waved a finger furiously at him. “I’ll take care of her.”

“And if something happens to you?” Dean snapped, matching Bobby anger.

“Then….I’ll cross to that bridge when I have to. But if you think I’m just going to let that little girl go, your touched in the head!”

Dean dropped his gaze, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. “Bobby I’m just….” he shook his head. “I should have given her up straight away.”

“Well you didn’t and now she’s here she ain’t leaving. She’s part of his screwed up dysfunctional family for as long as one of us is here to take care of her.”

Dean stared at the older man. Looking at him like he was seeing him for the first time. There was something more going on than he knew. He felt it. Bobby had taken to Jamie almost as quickly as Dean had. The only other time he’d seen Bobby this intense was when he’d sold his soul to save Sam. He had that same look then too. As if he couldn’t bare to lose his son.

“Now fix that.” Bobby grumbled pointing at the steaming kettle. “And get the hell out of my kitchen!” with that the old man wheeled himself back to the study, settling behind his desk.

Dean turned back to make the bottle, then took slow cautious steps out of the room. Almost afraid Bobby was going to shoot him any second. He took the steps two at a time and rushed back to his room to find Cas sat up naked in bed, Jamie in his arms, whispering. Dean handed over the bottle before stepping out of the jeans he’d put on to go downstairs and slipped back under the covers as Cas fed Jamie.

He sat there watching the pair. “I spoke to Bobby.”

Cas didn’t react.

“He’s going to keep her.”

Cas nodded. A look on his face Dean had come to know as his ‘inside information’ face.

“Cas? What do you know?”

“I know many things Dean.”

“Don’t be flippant, it doesn’t suit you. Spill.”

Cas kept his eyes locked on Jamie. He shook his head. “It’s personal and he….he would not want you to know.”

Dean stared at the angel for a long moment. “He’s the closest thing I have to a father Cas. If there’s something going on with him I should know.”

“Why?” Cas turned to meet his gaze.

“Huh?”

“Why should you know?” Cas frowned.

“Because. - Because we’re family. If something’s wrong…..I can’t help if I don’t know.”

“There is nothing you can do. It is in the past. And if he want’s you to know, he will tell you when he’s ready.”

Dean stared silently once more. His mouth hanging open. He knew Cas was right and he didn’t want to pry, but now his interest was peaked and he was beyond curious.

“I won’t tell you Dean.”

Dean broke their staring contest and glared at the wall.

“Jamie will be safe with him if something happens to us.” Cas clarified after a long silence. “He loves her. As he loves you and Sam.”

Inhaling sharply, Dean nodded. He’ll find out what was going on with Bobby if they survived. And if they don’t, he was reassured knowing that Jamie would have Bobby to protect her, as he’d done for Sam and him.

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

They were packing up the cars by 5:30 and preparing to ride of to their possible deaths. Despite that there was a strange sense of ease hanging over the salvage yard. Dean and Sam busied themselves with rechecking they had everything, while Ellen and Jo went over things with Bobby again. Cas sat on the porch steps with Jamie in his arms, watching Dean move between the Impala and the battered old station-wagon Ellen was driving. Dean glanced over every few minutes with a smile.

Finally they were ready to move out. Dean walked over to join Cas. The angel got to his feet with a resigned sigh and pressed his lips to Jamie‘s hair. Whispering something so quietly Dean couldn‘t hear, he handed her over.

“You be good for Grandpa Bobby, okay.” he whispered, pressing a lingering kiss to her forehead. “We’ll be back soon. I promise.” he swallowed, ignoring his mom’s voice telling him he shouldn’t make promises he couldn’t keep. “I love you.” he whispered close to her ear, tears burning behind his eyes as he raised them to see Bobby sat on the top step. Swallowing again he took the steps and handed her over. “Take care of her.”

Bobby glared at him before his eyes softened and he nodded. Inhaling deeply, he stared at his little girl for another few seconds before turning and heading back to the cars. He looked at Ellen and Jo, then at Sam. “Cas, you go with the girls.”

Cas frowned at him, causing Dean to step into his personal space, meeting his eyes. “I something goes wrong…” he said quietly. “I’m trusting you to get them out of there.”

Cas nodded understandingly, making Dean sigh with relief and smile, before closing the gap some more to take Cas’s mouth. It wasn’t a goodbye kiss he told himself. But he’d learnt his lesson. He wasn’t going to let him go into this without him knowing. He put everything he had into the kiss. When he broke away, his dragged his lips to Cas’s ear. Breathless and dizzy. “Cas I….”

“I know Dean.” Cas whispered, cutting him off.

Dean pulled away, meeting his blue eyes and seeing the understanding.

“Seriously, guys. We’re on a schedule here.” Sam complained lightly.

Lingering for a few more seconds in their bubble, Cas nodded and moved to join Ellen and Jo in the Station-wagon. Dean turned to glare at his brother who was already climbing into the passenger seat. “Bitch.” Dean snapped as he took his own seat and started the car.

“Whatever jerk.” Sam huffed, waving at Bobby as they moved away.

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Rolling into Carthage felt like entering a ghost town. Dean sighed, marching out of the police department. The whole town was empty.

“You know what this reminds me of?” Sam said beside him.

“Don’t say it.” Dean replied, pointing a finger into his brother's face. He knew exactly what was going to come out of his mouth and it sent a ice cold shiver down his spine. The future was once again banging on the door. Haunting Dean.

“You think it’s the virus?”

Dean swallowed. “I don’t know.”

“Well didn’t you….is this where it starts. Did you…tell you anything?”

“No I didn’t tell me anything. - I….he….” Dean grunted. “That guy was a dick.”

“How could you tell.”

“Blow me.”

Sam smirked as they made their way back to meet up with the Ellen, Jo and Cas. They turned the corner as the Station-wagon pulled to a stop.

“Stations empty.” Dean said frustratingly.

“So’s everything else.” Jo sighed.

“Have you seen Cas?” Ellen asked.

Dean’s eyes widened. “What?”

“He was with you.” Sam added with a confused frown.

“Nope, he went after the reapers.” Ellen clarified.

Dean gritted his teeth. “Reapers?”

“He saw reapers?” Sam asked looking between the two women. “Where?”

“Well, kind of everywhere.” Jo replied.

“Son of a bitch. Remind me to kill him.” Dean snapped furiously. “I told him to stick with you. God that guy just….Ahhh.”

“I’m sure he’s okay, Dean.”

“Yeah, then were the hell is he?” Dean snapped, turning to look around at him. “Cas!” he yelled. “Get your feathery ass back here. _Now_!” he turned to look over his shoulder, knowing how often his husband tended to appear behind him out of nowhere. He was sure he did it on purpose. But there was no sign of him. “Dammit.” he hissed. “I going to kill him. I swear I’m going to kill him.”

“Come on Dean. Lets keep looking. He’s around here somewhere.” Sam said calmly, while sharing a concerned look with Ellen.

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Cas stared across the fire at his brother. His heart racing with a fear he hadn’t thought himself capable of before. He watched the fallen archangel watch him.

“So you came with the Winchesters.” Lucifer finally said, pushing himself off the wall he’d been pressed against.

“I….I came alone.” Cas said nervously.

“Loyalty.” Lucifer nodded. “Hmm. Such a nice quality to see in this day and age. - Castiel, right?”

Cas swallowed hard. His stomach tightening as he nodded.

“Castiel, I’m told you came her in an automobile.” Lucifer said causally.

“Yes.”

“What was that like?”

“Um…Slow. Confining.” Cas answered calmly. His gaze searching for a way to escape.

“What a peculiar thing you are.” Lucifer murmured. His gaze racking over Cas. “I hear them talking about you.”

Cas straightened his back. “What’s wrong with your vessel?” he asked hoping to change the subject.

“Yes, Nick is wearing a bit thin, I’m afraid. He can’t contain me forever, so…..” he shrugged nonchanlantly.

“You….” Cas stepped forward only to freeze on the edge of the holy fire. “You are not taking Sam Winchester. - I won’t let you.”

Lucifer stared at him hard. “So its true? What I’ve heard about you.”

Cas inhaled, his back straightening defensively once more.

“You….” his nose crinkled. “….bound yourself to one of them.”

Cas remained silent. Watching Lucifer circle him, disgust in the fallen angel’s eyes.

Lucifer shook his head. “How could you?”

“There would be no point trying to explain, you wouldn’t….couldn’t understand.” Cas said firmly, his eyes never leaving Lucifer’s.

“You love him?” the fallen angel said with repulsion.

“Yes.”

“He a human. He’s nothing. - He‘s an abomination.”

Cas tightened his jaw against the anger. “As I said. You don’t understand.”

Lucifer stared at him. The pair silently challenging each other. “I suppose I don’t.” Lucifer finally said, walking out of the room.

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

“Oh, this is great we’ve been in town for twenty minutes and we’ve already lost the angel up our sleeve.” Dean complained.

Sam sent him a side-long look. “You think huh….Lucifer got him?” he asked cautiously.

Dean inhaled sharply, his eyes turning to meet his brothers coldly.

“Sorry. I….Sorry.”

Dean had tried not to think about Cas being captured by Lucifer. He’d tried not to think about what the bastard was doing to his angel, but it had been there in the back of his mind almost from the instant Ellen had said he’d gone off on his own. His gut had been in knots for twenty minutes, and it wasn’t made any better by the anger bubbling up inside him. He’d told Cas to stay with Ellen and Jo. Told him to keep them safe, but instead he wandered off and was now in the hands of the very thing they’d come there to kill. He swore again that if Lucifer didn’t kill Cas, he would.

They four of them turned another corner onto another empty street.

“There you are.”

Dean inwardly groaned at the voice. The cold rushing down his spine telling him who it was even before he turned to see her face.

“Meg.” Sam spat, his gun raised.

“You shouldn’t have come here, boys.” Meg smirked.

“I could say the same thing for you.” Dean snapped, marching toward the demon, Colt raised and cocked. “Where’s Cas?”

“Didn’t come here alone, Dean-o.”

A rough heavy growl echoed in the silent street. Dean saw the ripples in the rain puddles and knew what he couldn’t see. Barking started around them. He couldn’t figure how many there were, but he knew they were in trouble. Sharing a quick glance with Sam, he turned back to Meg. “Hellhounds.”

“Yeah, Dean, your favourite.” Meg laughed. “Come on, boys. My father wants to see you.”

Dean tried to figure where the beasts were but other than the one beside Meg, he couldn’t place them.

“I think we’ll pass, thanks.” Sam replied.

“Your call.” Meg shrugged. “You can make this easy, or you can make it really, really hard.”

Dean glanced back at Ellen.

“When have you known us to ever make anything easy?” Dean said before pulling the trigger and sending a bullet into the hellhound beside Meg.

“Run!” Sam yelled.

The four of them took off down the street, Dean’s heart pounding in his chest, cold sweat breaking out on his skin at the sound of the hound at his heels, bring back memories he’d hoped never to relive. The memories came back with painful clarity when he felt the heavy weight of one take him down.

“Dean!”

“Jo, stay back!” he called, seeing the young woman heading back to him. He ducked his head as she fired over him. Over and over. The sounds of wounded animals following every shot. Dean leapt to his feet but he wasn’t quick enough, he watched in horror as Jo was taken down by another hound. Her screams ringing in his ears. He reached her side quickly, lifting her into his arms. He ran toward the nearest store as Sam and Ellen provided cover fire.

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

            Cas stood staring at the flames. He had no idea how long he’d been stood there and had no way of knowing it Dean and the others were all right. He was completely cut off. Lucifer’s look of repulsion haunted him. He’d know the angel wouldn’t understand. None of them did. But he’d never been looked at like that before. The others, Zachariah, Uriel. They’d looked at him like he was a victim. Like Dean had corrupted him. He felt strange. Angry. Insulted. He had done nothing wrong. Nothing.

“I don’t know why your fighting me, of all the angels.”

Cas turned to see Lucifer watching him from the shadows. “You really have to ask?” he replied angrily.

“I rebelled. I was cast out. You rebelled. You were cast out. - Almost all of heaven wants to see me dead. - And if they succeed, guess what. You’re their new public enemy number one.”

Cas stared into the darkness.

“We’re on the same side, like it or not. So why not just serve your own best interests….which in this case, just happens to be my best interest.”

“By handing you Sam Winchester?”

Lucifer shrugged.

“And what about Dean?” Cas asked, his brow raised intrigued.

“I’ll let you keep him.”

“Why?”

Lucifer smirked. “We’re brothers.”

Cas stared at him thoughtfully for a long moment. “I’d die first.”

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

 “How’s she holding up?” Dean asked turning to meet his brother’s regretful gaze. His gut clenching painfully at the realisation that Jo wasn’t going to make it.

“The salt lines are holding up.”

“We’re safe now.”

“Yeah, safe or trapped like rats.”

“Hey, you heard Meg. Her father’s here. This is our one shot, Sammy. We gotta take it no matter what.”

The pair shared an look of understanding. They weren’t walking out of this, any of them. But if they were going down, they were taking that evil son of a bitch with them.

“Here we go.” Dean said turning back at the radio he'd been working of for the past few minutes crackled to life.

“Sam, some help here, please!” Ellen called from across the hardware store.

 “KC5 Fox Delta Oscar, come in.” Dean rested his head against the shelf. “KC5 Fox Delta Oscar, come in.” he repeated, praying Bobby would pick up.

_“KC5 Fox Delta Oscar, go ahead.”_

Dean released a sigh of relief at the sound of the old man’s voice. “Bobby, it’s Dean. We got problems.”

_“It’s okay, boy. That’s why I’m here. Is everyone all right?”_

Dean closed his eyes tight and took a deep breath before replying. “No. It’s….” his voice broke, forcing him to swallow hard. “It’s Jo. Bobby, it’s pretty bad.”

 _“Okay, copy that. So now we figure what we do next.”_ Bobby’s voice crackled through the radio, calm and in charge.

“Bobby, I don’t think she’s…” his throat tightened up, cutting off the words. Tears burning his eyes.

_“I said, what do we do next, Dean?”_

Dean rubbed at his eyes, trying to force himself to stay calm. Images of Cas bloodied and broken, fought with those of Jo, making it almost impossible for him to think. He took breath after breath, forcing the images away. “Right. Okay, right.”

_“Now, tell me what you got.”_

“We’ve got nothing. The town’s empty. Completely deserted. Like River Grove deserted. Cas told Ellen that he saw reapers before he….” he paused, trying to keep calm. “….vanished.”

_“Cas is gone?”_

“Yeah. - H-he went…to f-find out what was going on with the r-reapers. We haven’t seen him since.”


	11. Here But Now They're Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title taken from the Song: Don't Fear The Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult. 
> 
> Some of the diologue is taken from the Supernatural episode Abandon All Hope. I do not own those part, they are courtasy of Ben Edlund.

Cas tried to ignore the burning gaze of his angelic brother, hotter then the flames that kept him trapped, but it was hard. Lucifer’s light, that given to him by heaven, called to him. Demanded his attention. Drawing Cas’s gaze no matter how the angel tired not to look.

"What is it like?" Lucifer asked casually, dropping his gaze to his fingers like they held the answer to his question.

"What?"

"Being with a human?"

Cas clenched his jaw. "Why do you want to know?"

Lucifer’s face tightened in that now familiar and almost constant look of disgust. "I’m curious." he shrugged nonchalantly.

Cas didn’t reply, turning to stare at the flames instead.

"You know he can never love you. Not the way you love him." Lucifer murmured blandly, as if talking to himself.

Cas turned his narrow eyes to the fallen archangel. "Dean cares for me."

"I’m sure he does, but he doesn’t love you. Humans can’t love with the purity we do."

"You don’t love anything."

"I love my father. I love my brothers, despite what Michael did to me."

Cas shook his head. "That isn’t love."

"You’re an expert now?"

"If you loved our father you would not have disobeyed him."

"You disobeyed."

"No. Father said we are to love and protect humanity. That is what I am doing."

Lucifer stared at him with a small smile. "You think he would approve of what you do with that…..Winchester?"

Swallowing hard, Cas lifted his chin. "He would understand. Because he created us all."

Lucifer laughed. "If that’s what you need to tell yourself in order to continue you perverted relationship with Dean Winchester. - But I can tell you, if I am cast back into the pit, you’ll will be joining me."

Cas narrowed his gaze once more, anger battling with fear. His father would understand. His father loved them all. He was stopped from say so by the arrival of a dark haired demon.

"I got the Winchesters pinned down. For now, at least." she said, smiling lovingly at Lucifer. "What should I do with them?"

Cas’s eyes snapped back to Lucifer, fighting to keep his fear for his lover and friends hidden.

"Leave them alone." Lucifer answered after a few long moments.

"I’m sorry, but are you sure?" the demon smiled, confused. "Shouldn’t we…."

"Trust me, child." Lucifer tore his eyes away from Cas, turning to the demon. Taking her face in his hands. "Everything happens for a reason."

Cas watched the demon gaze up at his brother with utter unquestioning devotion. A look he’d carried once, but no more. Tearing his eyes away from the sickening scene he scanned the room once more, and finally saw a means of escape. A lose water pipe. Concentrating what remained of his energy he forced on the rusty bolts.

"Well, Castiel, you have some time. Time to change your mind."

Cas dropped his gaze to glare at the fallen angel. Dean's voice in his mind, providing an answer. "Screw you." he said in a harsh angry voice.

Lucifer’s face tightened and he shook his head disappointedly, before looking back at the dark haired demon. "Well. I have things to see to. I’ll leave Meg here to keep you company. Maybe you could share stories about you human lover." he looked pointedly at Cas before turning to leave.

Meg grinned over at Castiel, moving slowly around the ring of fire. "So, the angel and the hunter. It sounds like a bad romantic novel." she laughed. "But I can see why you fell for him. - Literally in your case. - he’s very good." she whispered meaningfully.

Cas stared at her coldly. "And how would you know?"

"We had a thing." she replied flippantly, waving her hand.

"No you didn’t." Cas replied firmly.

Meg paused, turning to stare at him, her back pressed against the wall. "You sound sure of that."

"I am. - I’m an angel. I know everything."

Meg tilted her head back and laughed. "So then you _know_ we’re going to win and there‘s nothing you and lover-boy can do about it."

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

"Now we know where the devil’s gonna be." Dean said, staring up at his brother. He’d pushed aside the fear and worry, and given into the anger. Using it to fuel his determination. "We know when, and we have the Colt."

"Yeah, we just have to get past….eight or so hellhounds and get to the farm by midnight."

"Yeah, and that’s after we get Jo and Ellen the hell out of town."

The pair glanced over at a pale and bloody Jo; her mom crouched at her side.

"Won’t be easy." Sam whispered.

"Stretcher?"

"I’ll see what we got." Sam sighed, turning to go in search of the supplies.

"Stop." Jo called weakly.

The pair paused, turning back to the young blonde.

"Guys, stop." Jo glanced from the two hunters to her mom, before dropping her gaze completely. "Can we ah….be realistic about this, please?" she murmured brokenly.

Sam and Dean moved reluctantly closer.

"Aah…I can’t move my legs. I can’t be moved…."

Dean swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest. He could feel his hands trembling beneath the skin as he fought not to show the guilt and pain.

"…..my guts are being held in by an Ace bandage…." Jo panted, wincing slightly at the pain. "We gotta…We gotta get our priorities straight here." she added firmly.

Dean shared a look with his brother, hating that he couldn’t argue with her. Hating that this was happening.

Jo looked between them all. "Number one. - I’m not going anywhere."

"Joanna Beth, you stop talking like that." Ellen snapped; her voice ringing with pain.

"Mom." Jo looked at the older woman with pleading wet eyes. "I can’t fight. I can’t walk. But I can do something. We’ve got propane, wiring, rock salt, iron nails, everything we need."

Dean closed his eyes as realisation came to him, his fingers curling into his palm.

"Everything we need?" Sam frowned.

"To build a bomb, Sam." Jo replied. Her eye burning into the hunter.

"No. Jo, no." Dean shook his head.

"You got another plan?"

Dean stared at her. He wanted to argue. Wanted to throw her over his shoulder and get her the hell out of there.  He fought to breath.

"You got _any_ other plan?" Jo called behind him. Her voice desperate. "Those are hellhounds out there, Dean. They’ve got all of our scents. Those bitches will _never_ stop coming after you. - And you’ve got a kid to get back to Dean."

Dean exhaled sharply, dropping his head as tear burned his eyes. He didn’t want to have to choose between saving Jo and getting back to his daughter. He didn’t want to have that weight on his shoulders. He glanced at Ellen, seeing the utterly lost and shattered look on her face and his insides collapsed in on themselves. His own parental instincts making him empathize with the woman who over the past few years had become like a mother to him. He looked back at Jo and instead of seeing a friend. A hunter. A sister almost. He saw a daughter.

"We let the dogs in, you guys hit the roof. Make a break for the building next over. I can wait here with my finger on the button. Rip those mutts a new one." Jo smiled weakly. "Or at least get you a few minutes head start anyway."

Dean lifted his head to meet her determined gaze. 

"No, I won’t let you." Ellen whimpered desperately.

"This is why we’re here, right? If I can get us a shot on the devil…." she lifted her eyes. "…Dean, we have to take it."

Dean swallowed. His heart pounding out of his chest as he fought the instinct to refuse. But she was right. Deep down he knew she was. Without Cas, his heart clenched at the thought of his husband, they’d never be able to get Jo out of town and to a hospital.

"No." Ellen turned to stare up at him pleadingly. "That’s not…."

"Mom. This might literally be your last chance to treat me like an adult. You might wanna take it."

Dean turned away, unable to watch the pair. His hand rubbing down his face, his palm dampening from the tears he hadn’t realised he was shedding. He heard Ellen breakdown and felt the wave of nausea roll over him. He pressed his hand to his mouth in hopes of holding it off.

"You heard her." Ellen said thickly after a few moments. "Get to work."

Dean took it as an opportunity to escape. He rushed off towards the back, finding the bathroom; he braced himself over the sink, inhaling deeply. He lifted his head after a few minutes and stared at himself in the mirror, his eyes red rimmed. "Cas?" he murmured quietly. "Dammit Cas, where are you? If you can hear me I need you. Now. Jo’s…." he took another breath, trying to force back the lump in his throat. "She’s dying Cas." he breathed. "I need you…."

"Dean." Sam called through the door.

Closing in his eyes and forcing air into his lungs. He sighed a final _"Dammit Cas_." before yanking open the door and storming past his concerned looking brother.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

It took them over an hour to get the explosive buckets set up. The activity allowing Dean to push the pain and anger away once more, until there was nothing left to do but hand Jo the detonator and say his goodbyes. He crouched down beside Jo, pressing the MacGyvered detonator into her palm. "Okay, this is it."

Jo looked up at him with red rimmed eyes and a pale face, tears welling.

"I’ll see you on the other side." Dean whispered roughly. "Probably sooner than later."

Jo shook her head. "Make it later. A little girl needs her Dad. Trust me." he handed him her sawn off. "Kill the son of a bitch. Okay." Jo smiled weakly. "And find Cas."

Dean inhaled sharply. He looked at her intensely, his heart racing. There had been a time once, when they’d first met, where Dean had thought she might be perfect for him, it just never seemed like right time for them. Then he’d died and Cas had come into his life. But those feelings still lingers. Deep down. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to Jo’s forehead. inhaling deeply, his hand cradling her faces. When he pulled back he looked into her eyes. Seeing the fear, sadness and regret as she stared back at him, and he pressed his lips to hers in a lingering soft kiss.

"Okay." he whispered, sharply pulling away, and walking to the window to give Ellen time.

"You okay?" Sam whispered from his shoulder.

"What do you think?" Dean snapped, glancing over at the two women. "This wasn’t…." he clenched his jaw, shaking his head.

Sam squeezed his shoulder. Nodding his understand before they both marched back towards Ellen and Jo.

"You got me, Jo." Ellen said as they approached. "And your right. This is important. But I will not leave you here alone."

"Dean." Sam said, wanting his brother to argue.

"Get going now, boys." Ellen said firmly.

Dean stepped forward, resting his hand on Ellen’s shoulder. She met his gaze. The pair sharing a moment of understanding. Two parents. He pressed a kiss to her hair and stepped away.

"And Dean." Ellen called, stopping him in his tracks. "Kick it in the ass. Don‘t miss."

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Cas twisted his fingers a little more, watching as the bolt loosened that little bit further. He was running out of time. He knew that. He’d heard Dean’s voice, calling for him. Begging for him. The pain in it causing Cas physical pain. He glanced at Meg, who was strolling merrily around the dark cellar with a wide grin on his face. "You seem pleased."

Meg turned to him, pressing her body against the brick pillar beneath the rusty pipe Cas had spent the past few hours working to free. "Can you feel it?" she curved her body into the brickwork, arching her back seductively. "You cloud-hopping pansies lost the whole damn universe. Lucifer’s gonna take over heaven."

Cas looked over her head to see the bolt turning.

"We’re going to heaven Clarence. Ah."

He turned back to fix her with a narrow gaze. "Strange. Because I heard a different theory from a demon named Crowley."

"You don’t know Crowley." she glared.

"He believes Lucifer is just using demons to achieve an end…" he felt the bolt give, glancing up to see it finally drop to the ground. Glad Meg was so distracted she didn’t hear it. "…and that once he does, he’ll destroy you all."

"You’re wrong." Meg stepped away from the wall, glaring at him. "Lucifer is the father of our race. Our creator. Your God may be a deadbeat but mine. - Mine walks the earth."

Cas moved on to the final bolt, this one loser than the others. It didn’t take long for it to fall from its hole. When it did the large metal pipe dropped, slamming into Meg’s back and sending her sprawling into Cas’s arms.

Meg stared up at him, laughing. "What would lover-boy say?"

He raised his hand, pressing it to her forehead but found himself unable to exorcise the demon within.

"You can’t gank demons, can you?" she whispered seductively, her body arching into Cas. Her lips close to his own. "You’re cut off from the home office, and you ain’t got the juice."

Cas inhaled; his jaw tight as he stared down at her.

"So, what can you do, you impotent sap?" she smirked.

"I can do this." he replied roughly, pulling her closer, twisting her body before flinging her forward into the flames. Her screams echoing off the stone walls as he used her as a bridge to cross the flames. The moment he was free he vanished. Reaching out to located Dean and the others. He reappeared on the edge of a field. He saw Dean slumped against a tree, Sam beside him. He made his way over quickly and silently. Pressing his finger to his lips to silence Dean, as the hunter looked at him with wide relieved eyes. He raised his hand to the brothers foreheads.

They reappeared in the middle of a deserted street beside the Impala. Dean didn’t waste any time, didn’t pause to ask questions, he yanked open the door. Sam claiming shot-gun, while Cas appearance in the backseat. Dean started the engine and hit the gas. They speeded through the streets, passing the blackened remains of the hardware store.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

The drive back to Dakota was mournfully silent. The only sound that of the men breathing. Dean’s gaze remained fixed on the road thought-out the whole journey. Sam sat staring out of the window watching the world fly by, while Cas sloughed into the battered leather of the backseat, his eyes burning into the back of Dean’s head. It was sunrise when they finally made it home, pulling into the salvage yard Dean cut the engine and pushed open the door, not even waiting for Sam and Cas as he ran up the porch steps and burst into the house. Bypassing Bobby to get to his daughter. Lifting her out of the crib, he pulled her to his chest, his lips lingering desperately to her head as he breathed in her new born scene and forced back the tears. Behind him he heard Sam and Cas enter but didn’t turn to acknowledge either of them.

"The girls?" Bobby asked, even though he knew the answer from their absents.

Sam sadly shook his head. "Sorry Bobby."

"Balls." the old man cursed, rolling out into the kitchen to grab them all a drink.

Dean sighed, lifting his head from Jamie’s, then turned to fix Cas with an accusatory look. "Where were you?" he demanded harshly.

"Dean." Sam pressed softly, shaking his head.

"No. I gave him an order. Stay with the girl, it wasn’t fucking hard!" he spat furiously, glaring at his angelic husband. "But no, you had to go wondering off. Dammit Cas, rule number two, don’t split up!"

"I went to investigate the reapers."

Dean huffed. "Yeah and how’d that turn out for ya?"

"If I’d known…."

"What!" he yelled. "If you’d know Lucifer was in town? Oh wait! Fuck it Cas, you promised me!"

Cas dropped his gaze, looking at the carpet. "I know."

"Dean, it wasn’t his fault."

"Don’t." Dean snapped, pointing a finger at his brother. "Don’t defend him."

"Calm down." Bobby ordered, glaring at the younger man.

Dean looking around the gathering then down at Jamie as she began to whine. Inhaling sharply, he calmly walked back to the crib and laid her down. She settled straight away and Dean turned back to furiously glare at Cas.

"I’m sorry Dean." the angel whispered.

"Yeah. Well bit late for that." Dean kept his voice low so as not to disturb Jamie anymore, but his anger rang though in its tone. "Ellen and Jo are dead, and its on you."

"Dean!" Sam snapped, stepping forward. "It’s not Cas’s fault. If anyone’s to blame it us. You and Me. For starting this whole damn thing. For dragging them into this."

"Hey. They went because it was their job." Bobby snapped, glaring between the pair. "It not on any of you. They were hunters, they went out like hunters."

Dean swallowed hard, looking at the old man. "May be, but if he’d done as he was damn well told, we all would have walked out of that place. _Alive_." he pointed in the direction of Cas, but when he turned his head to glare at the angel accusingly once more, there was just empty space.

"Great." Sam grunted, sending his brother a bitch-face before marching out of the room.

"Idijit. - Grow the fuck up princess. Its not his fault and you know it." Bobby snapped, spinning in his wheel chair and heading for the back door.

Dean stared after the retreating man before turning to looking at the now empty space. "Dammit." he sighed, tears burning his eyes once again.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean was right. Cas knew that. He’d promised to protect Ellen and Jo, and he’d broken that promise. It was really no wonder Dean hated him. He sat on the bench and stared down at his hands. He’d known he shouldn’t have left them. He’d known Lucifer was in town. That was why they’d gone there. He just hadn’t….thought what could happen. He’d thought that finding out about the reapers would be a wise thing to do.

The phone in his pocket began to ring but he ignored it. He already knew who it was, and he didn’t need another lecture from the hunter. He could feel he was still furious with him and he wasn’t going to sit there while Dean yelled at him again.

"Dammit Cas, pick up!"

Dean’s voice resounded in his head and he realised shamefully that if Dean wanted to yell he didn’t need a phone to do so. When the phone began to ring again he fished into his pocket and dragged out the cell. Reluctantly answering it and pressing it to his ear. "Yes Dean." he said warily.

"Where the hell are you?"

Dean snapped.

"What do you want Dean?"

There was a long silence. Cas stared out at the park; it was still too early for the children of the town to venture out to play. He listened as Dean’s breath filtered down the line.

"I’m sorry. Okay."

Cas could feel the regret in Dean. But he could also feel the anger and blame still aimed at him.

"Just come home."

"I need to get back to my search Dean." Cas replied roughly.

"Cas. The search can wait."

"No. If the Colt failed, God is our only chance."

Dean was silent again.

 _"I shouldn’t have blamed you."_ Dean stated suddenly.

"Yes." Cas sighed. Dropping his gaze to the grass. "I failed to keep the promise I made you. I got Ellen and Jo killed."

"No. Sam’s right. That’s on us."

Cas shook his head. He knew Dean didn’t really believe that. "I have to go Dean." Cas sighed.

"Cas."

Dean said in a panic.

"I’ll call later." with that Cas hung up. He sat staring down at the cell phone in his hand. He wanted to return to the house. To Dean and Jamie. But he couldn’t. Not yet. He’d been honest when he said that God was their only hope, and Cas was determined now more than ever to find him. To fix this. Maybe his father could even bring back Ellen and Jo? It would be the least he could do. After abandoning them all and allowing this to happen.

Inhaling slowly, Cas got to his feet. Glancing once more around the park. His gaze settling for a moment on the other bench. The memory of Dean sat there coming back to him. Then he was gone.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

"Cas coming back?" Sam asked from the kitchen table. His tone indicating he was still pissed at his brother.

Dean slipped the cell back into his pocket and snatched a beer from the refrigerator. "No." he grumbled, his voice tinged with anger and frustration. "He’s back on the God-hunt." He didn’t turn to look at his brother. He didn’t need to, to know the bitch face he was sending his way.

"Well maybe that’s a good thing."

Dean’s head snapped around to glare at him. "Meaning?"

"Meaning we’re screwed Dean. The Colt doesn’t work. The world going to hell, literarily. And unless we’re planning on saying the Y-word, we’re out of options. Finding God is our last hope."

Dean clenched his jaw. "He doesn’t have to…..now?"

"Well maybe you should have thought of that before you ripped him a new one over something none of us had control over." Sam snapped, glaring at his brother. "Maybe it would be good for you two to have some time apart."

"You’d suck as a marriage counsellor Sammy." Dean snapped, marching out of the back door.

"Well you’re pretty sucky as a husband!" Sam called after him.

Dean slammed the back door furiously and stormed out into the maze of crumpled steel. Putting enough distance between him and the house, he slouched on the hood of an banged up red Thunderbird and sighed. Lifting the bottle to his lips. He knew he shouldn’t be blaming Cas for Ellen and Jo’s death. Despite the fact that Cas had wondered off. The fact was Bobby was right. Ellen and Jo walked into this knowing they might not be walking out. They all did. It was part of the job. They lived with the knowledge that each hunt might be there last. But that didn’t make losing the women any better. It didn’t ease the anger Dean felt. Lowering the bottle he stared into the distance and was rocked by the sudden thought that he might lose more than his pseudo-mom and sister. He might lose the man he loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never quiet understood how Dean didn't blame Cas for Ellen and Jo's death. Which was just one of the many thing I didn't quiet get about this episode. And while the ep's end was very touching, it didn't make sense to me. Burning the photo? What was that about. Surely you'd want to keep it to remember them by.   
> Anyway, I'm off to work on the next chapter. See you next week.


	12. You're The One That I Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for missing last weeks post. I'll try not to let that happen again but I had a really bad case of writers block, which is kinda lingering. That's why this chapter's a bit shorter than usual. But I'll try and fix that by next week. 
> 
> Chapter Title taken from the Song: You're The One That I Want - John Travolta/Olivia Newton-John [choose this as the chapter title because I have no imagination. rofl. It was number one in the UK at the time Dean, Sam & Cas travelled back to 1978. - And I heartily apologize for choosing it.]
> 
> Some of the diologue is taken from the Supernatural episode Song Remains The Same. I do not own those part, they are courtasy of Ben Edlund.

It had been almost three weeks since Carthage. Since Cas had headed off on his renewed hunt for God and Dean had been close to going insane. Cas dropped him a line every day to tell him where he was, but still refused to come home. Saying the hunt was more important.

Dean hadn’t slept. Not properly. The bed was suddenly too cold and too lumpy, and he couldn’t get comfortable no matter how hard he tried. So instead he threw himself into work. Bobby agreed to take care of Jamie, while he and Sam hit the road. Their first case leading them to an asylum, to help out an old acquaintance of their dad’s who’d lost his marbles. Getting themselves locked up had been the easy part. Staying sane while inside, not so much. The whole experience had forced Dean to face more than a few of his personal demons. His relationship with Cas being the hardest. His therapist seemed to read his mind, bring up issues Dean hadn’t allowed himself to dwell upon.

Thankfully it didn’t take them long to figure out what was going on. - And he was even more grateful to discover the so-called doctor was actually a figment of his imagination. That didn’t remove the feelings of doubt and regret she’d brought to light though. Those were going to stick with him for a long time to come.

The worst part was it was taking too long for the Wraith’s drug to clear his system. Both him and Sam were still having moments of panic on their way back home.

Dean had pulled up at a gas station fifty miles from the asylum. Sam vanishing into the bathroom while he filled up the Impala.

"Dean."

He turned sharply to meet Cas’s unwavering stare and sucked in a breath. It had been too long since he’d seen him. Leaving the pump hanging from the car, Dean took a step forward, only for Cas to move back. "Cas?" he frowned.

"I am only here to give you this."

Dean held out his hand and watched in horror as Cas dropped the silver ring into his palm. His throat closing up around any protest he wanted to make. He lifted his gaze too meet the angel’s only to find Cas staring at him, emotionless and cold.

"It was a mistake Dean. I should never have left heaven. It’s my home."

He opened him mouth to speak. To plead with Cas to stay. Not to leave him. - To tell him he was sorry for blaming him about Jo and Ellen. That he knew it wasn’t his fault. That he’d been an idiot. He felt the tears burning in the back of his eyes. Scorching his throat.

_"Dean?"_

His head snapped around to see his brother. When he turned back, Cas was gone. - Along with the ring in his palm. Inhaling sharply he shook his head. Fishing into his pocket desperately. Frantically hitting the speed dial.

"Dean?"

He heart skipped at the sound of Cas’s voice a second later. "Cas…" he sighed, hanging his head and running his fingers through his hair. Ignoring the concerned stare of his brother. "Cas. Come home." he said softly, keeping his voice low as Sam hovered close by.

_"Dean I’m…."_

"Just for a little while." he coughed. "You can head back to the hunt in a few days. But I need to see you. - I’m sorry about what I said. I didn’t mean it. Please Cas." he sighed, squealing the bridge of his nose.

_"Where are you?"_

"We’re on our way back to Bobby’s. Meet me there."

There was a long painful silence in which Dean fear Cas was going to refuse.

_"Alright."_

"Cas." Dean said quickly, before the angel could hang up.

_"Yes Dean."_

"I….." Dean didn’t say anything else. He knew he wouldn’t need to. Cas would know. Have you ever told him you love him? His mind-therapist voice ringing in his head. Don’t you think he’d like to hear the words? Maybe you don’t feel it. Have you ever been in love before Dean? He squeezed his eyes closed tight, forcing the voice away.

_"I know Dean. I’ll see you soon."_

The line when dead and Dean took a much needed breath. He stared down at the cell phone before tucking it into his jacket pocket.

"Everything alright?" Sam asked cautiously.

"Fine." Dean nodded, pulling the pump from the back of the Impala. "Cas’ll meet us at home."

Sam stared at his brother for a second before nodding and climbing into his seat while Dean heading into the gas station.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean pulled into the salvage yard wary and tired, and in need of a few hours rest. The moment his eyes settled on Cas however his body relaxed. Despite knowing they were going to have to talk. Pushing open the car door he stepped out and made his way over to the angel. He didn’t say a word though as he stepped into the other man’s personal space. Instead gripping Cas’s face and pulling him into a slow apologetic kiss. Feeding everything he felt but couldn’t say into it. Knowing as he always did that the angel would understand.

Cas’s palms pressed into his back, his fingers curling into the fabric of Dean’s jacket. His mouth opening instantly to the hunter’s tongue, granting it access. Moaning as he felt everything Dean was feeling fill him. When Dean pulled back he met his eyes.

"I’m sorry." Dean whispered. "I shouldn’t have blamed you. I was hurt and angry. It wasn’t your fault."

"It was." Cas protested.

"No." he shook his head. "Believe me, they didn’t blame you. I don’t blame you."

Cas dropped his gaze. "You should. I made a promise, only to break it."

"I shouldn’t have asked for that promise in the first place Cas. I know how this works. It was never going to be one you could keep."

The pair stared at each other for a long few minutes, before Dean broke it and turned towards the house, his arm over Cas’s shoulder. "You been into see Jamie yet?"

"No. I wanted to wait for you. I wasn’t sure if you’d…."

Dean paused on the steps, his head snapping around to stare at his angel. "She’s ours Cas. We’ve been thought this. She’s yours as much as mine. We’re a family."

Cas nodded.

"I mean it." Dean pressed firmly.

"Yes Dean."

Reassured; Dean led Cas the rest of the way into the house.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Things seemed to settle into a routine after that. Dean and Sam would head off on the hunt, while Cas went in search of his father. When the brothers had cleaned up whatever the latest threat was they’d drive back to Bobby’s salvage yard, to find Cas waiting for them. Jamie in arms, smiling as Dean climbed out of the car. Kisses were exchanged. Stories told. Then they’d spend the next few days, a week if they were lucky, as a relatively normal if somewhat dysfunctional family. Then it would begin again.

Dean threw himself into his relationship with Cas. Not a day going by without a phone call where nothing much was spoken, but everything was said. And when they were back home, in their room, they spoke a different language. Taking the time to explore each others bodies to the fullest. In those hours and days, life seemed good. Right. - Perfect. So really it was only a matter of time before the real world began to encroach on it.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Cas’s eyes snapped open. His body rigid from the sharp tug on his grace. Pulling him reluctantly from the abyss of sleep. The heavy weight of Dean’s arm anchoring him to the bed. He didn’t wait more than a second before he was gone. Reappearing in the next room just in time to grab Anna’s arm. Dragging her back from Sam’s bed as the hunter straightened up, demon knife gripped in his palm, prepared to defend himself against the attack he’d sense.

Cas’s back crashed into the wall, denting the plaster board. Anna’s hand at his throat, a blade still raised. He stared at his sister angel with narrowed furious eyes. His hand tight around her wrist. "Anna!" he growled, fighting to keep the woman away from Sam.

"Cas." she hissed furiously back at him. Her eyes blazing with hatred.

"I know you’re angry, Anna." Cas said breathlessly.

"Angry? - You handed me over to them!" she spat, increasing the strength in her arm to thrust the blade deep into Cas’s shoulder.

Though it caused him little real damage, Cas felt the vivid sharp pain travel through his chest. "That was a mistake." he gasped regretfully. "But whatever they sent you here to do…."

"They didn’t send me! I escaped…"

Cas looked at her suspiciously. "No one escapes."

Anna’s lip curled viciously. "All these centuries and you still underestimate me."

Cas watched her closely, staring into her eyes.

The bedroom door flew open, Dean rushing in with a raised shotgun. Eyes wide with shock and anger.

Anna glared from Cas to the naked hunter, before settling her eyes back on her fellow angel. Her pale blue eyes burrowing into the man. A look of sudden surprise of her face. As if only just noting Cas’s state of undress.

"Let him go Anna." Dean warned. His voice rough and dangerous.

"I understand so much now." She murmured, her eyes never leaving Castiel’s. "That’s why you betrayed me? Because of him?"

Cas stared at the red head with a unwavering glare. "I was following orders."

"Envy’s a sin Castiel." she replied.

"If you want vengeance Anna, why are you here?"

"I’m not here for you. Not yet. - I’m here for him. Sam Winchester has to die. It’s the only choice we have."

"No."

"He’s Lucifer’s vessel." Anna replied, utterly ignoring the presents of the brothers.

"He’s not the only one."

"What, that guy Nick? He’s burning away as we speak." Anna replied calmly. Her fingers loosening around the angel’s neck. "Sam is the only vessel that matters. If he can’t take Sam, you know what that means. His whole plan short-circuits. No fight with Michael. Not Croatoan virus, the horsemen go back to their day jobs."

"No."

"If you want to stop the devil. This is how."

Cas’s eyes scan past Anna’s face to the man sat on the edge of the bed, watching the whole scene play out. He could see it in Sam’s eyes. See that he was listening to the woman. Considering letting her kill him to save the world. - But Cas couldn’t let that happen. Losing Sam would destroy Dean. Would destroy them all. And Sam was his friend. His family. "The answers still no." Cas murmured quietly. His eyes locked with Sam’s. "Because Sam is my friend and brother."

Anna took a step back, her eyes fixed on him. "You’ve changed." she whispered. Surprise in his tone.

"Maybe too late." Cas replied, turning his eyes back to Anna. An apology in their deep blue depths. "But I have. - Anna we’ve been through much together. But you come near Sam and I’ll kill you." he adds in a low menacing voice.

Anna was gone before their eyes. Not another word passing her lips. Though Cas didn’t need her to say anything. He knew she’d try again. Could see it in her determined gaze.

"You okay?" Dean asked, rushing towards him. The shotgun hanging from his fingers.

"It’s not over." he murmured, shaking his head. "She won’t give up."

"I can’t believe…." Dean shook his head. "…she’s gone all Glenn Close." Dean dropped his weapon, wrapping his fingers around the hilt of the knife still imbedded in Cas’s shoulder and tugging it free. "That’s awesome." he sighed, shaking his head.

"Who’s Glenn Close?" Cas frowned; staring down at his shoulder as it slowly began to heal.

Dean looked up at Cas, a fond look in his eyes. His thumb rubbing at his healing skin. "No one. Just this psycho bitch who likes to boil rabbits." he smiled softly.

"Cas?" Sam murmured from the bed.

The pair turned to look at him.

"Guys…." Sam dropped his head into his hands. "Clothes. Then we‘ll talk about Anna wanting to kill me."

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Sam sat on the edge of Bobby’s bed, his eyes fixed to the floor beneath his feet while Dean paced the room. Bobby and Cas stood at the desk, the angel scratching out patterns on the surface.

"So the plan to kill me. Would it actually stop Satan?" Sam murmured to the floor.

"No. Sam, come on." Dean said, turning to glare at his brother. "That’s not…."

"Cas, what do you think? Does Anna have a point?" Sam looked pleadingly at the angel.

Cas looked up from his work and met Sam’s gaze. "No!" he replied firmly.

"I don’t get it." Dean moved closer to the desk, looking from Cas to Bobby. "We’re looking for the chick that wants to gank Sam? Why poke the bear?"

"Like I said Dean, she’ll keep trying." Cas replied, throwing herbs into a bowl. "She won’t give up until Sam is dead." Cas lifted his gaze to meet Dean’s. "So we kill her first."

Dean couldn’t help the small smile that curved his lips at the determination in his lover’s voice.

Cas poured the holy oil into the bowl. "You might want to step back." he said, waiting for Bobby and Dean to move away from the desk before reciting the incantation in Enochian. The contents sparked bright red.

Dean rushed forward to catch Cas as he stumbled back from the table. "Wow. You okay?"

Cas took a deep breath, his eyes squeezed tightly as his mind sort out the location of his sister. "I found her."

"Where is she?" Dean whispered nervously.

Cas steady himself before looking at Dean. "Not where. When? 1978."

Sam leapt to his feet. "What? - Why 1978? I wasn’t even born yet?"

"Exactly." Bobby huffed, rolling away from the table. "And you never will be if she kills your parents."

"Mom and Dad." Dean frowned, looking from Sam to Bobby.

Cas nodded, looking apologetically at Dean. "Anna can’t get to you because of me, so she’s going after them."

"Take us back." Dean insisted. "Right now."

"And deliver you right Anna. I should go alone." Cas said, turning away.

Dean’s hand tightened around Cas’s arm, dragging him back to face him. "They’re our parents. We’re going."

"And if something happens to you?" Cas snapped. "What about Jamie?"

"If Anna gets to our parents she won’t even exist." Dean snapped. "We’re going."

"It’s not that easy!"

"Why not?" Sam asked, frowning at the angel.

"Time travel is difficult even with the powers of heaven at my disposal." Cas replied, turning to meet his brother-in-law.

"But you’re cut off." Sam sighed.

"So you’re like a DeLorean without plutonium?"

Cas stared at Dean. "Yes."

Dean couldn’t stop the smirk at Cas finally getting a cultural reference. That movie night a few weekends ago was paying off.

"I’m telling you, taking this trip with passengers no less….it would weaken me."

The pair stared at each other for a long moment.

"I can’t risk your life Dean. - I won’t."

"Cas. Please. - They’re our mom and dad. I…we need to do this."

"Dean…."

Dean grabbed his arm, dragging him out of the study and out of the house. Once they were out in the early morning light, Dean spun to stare at his husband with hard eyes.

"You don’t want to risk my life; well I’m not letting you do alone. This isn’t just about saving my parents and Sam, Cas. I heard what Anna said. I saw the look in her eyes. She’ll kill you…."

"She can try." Cas said defensively.

"This isn’t up for debate Cas. We’re going."

Cas glared at Dean. Wanting to argue but knowing there was no real point. That Dean wouldn’t just let it go. Sighing Cas dropped his gaze. "Fine. - We’re going to need some things."

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

An hour later they were stood in the study, duffle over Dean’s shoulder. Bobby sat in his chair, feeding Jamie her early morning bottle.

"Ready?" Cas asked with a reluctantly, defeated tone.

Dean nodded, brushing his fingers over the top of his daughter’s head. "Take care of her Bobby."

"Just you get you asses back her in one piece." Bobby grumbled. "All of you."

Cas nodded before turning to Dean and Sam.

"Bend your knees." Dean whispered to Sam as he braced himself for the trip.

Cas pressed his fingers to the pair’s foreheads and they were gone.

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

The sound of a car horn had Sam and Dean spinning to stare down at the hood of a blue Ford.

"Get out of the street!" the driver yelled.

"Sorry!" Dean called as they rushed to the sidewalk. Narrowly avoiding being hit again.

"Did we make it?" Sam asked, glancing around.

"Unless they’re bringing Pintos back into production, I, uh, I’d say yes." Dean looked around. "Where’s Cas?" he suddenly asked, panic in his voice.

"Cas!"

Dean turned at the sound of his brother’s voice, following his line of sight before taking off at a sprint down the street. "Cas!" he dropped to his knees in front of the angel. "Cas. Hey. Take it easy, take it easy." he said as the man tried to get to his feet. "I’ve got you." he raised his hand to the angel’s face, his thumb rubbing at the small trail of blood beneath his nose.

"I’m fine Dean." Cas insisted. "Much better than I expected." he smiled reassuringly. A second before coughing up blood.

"Shit." Dean hissed. His hand gripping tightly at the back of the angel’s neck.

"Is he breathing?" Sam asked.

"Sort of." Dean replied, staring fearfully down at the his husband. "We need to get him off this street." Dean looked around. "Before someone…"

Sam grabbed Cas’s arm before his brother had even stopped talking. His gaze fixed on the diner a few doors away. "There." he nodded.

Together they mostly dragged Cas into the building and straight to the men’s room. Settling him down on the lowered toilet seat. Dean crouching in front of him.

"What do we do?" Sam asked, stepping back.

"Water?"

"Dean." Cas murmured.

"I’ll get the water." Sam said, rushing from the bathroom.

"Cas? You ok?"

"I….I’ll be fine. We need to find your parents."

"Just rest."

"We don’t have time to rest." Cas insisted.

"Fine. Me and Sam will find mom and Dad. I’ll get you a room…."

"No. You can’t fight Anna alone?"

"You’re in no state to go up against an angel that wants to kill you!"

Cas moved to get to his feet. "I’m fine." but his feet gave beneath him.

"Sure." Dean scoffed.

"Here." Sam suddenly said. Reappearing with a glass of water. "I told the waitress he was hung-over."

"If only." Dean grumbled, taking the glass and lifting it to Cas’s lips. "Slip this." he ordered.

"I don’t need…"

"I said drink!"

"So what we doing?" Sam asked, looking from his brother to Cas.

"Go see if you can find an address. - And a car, would be good?"

"What about…."

Dean meet Cas’s determined gaze as the angel sipped obediently at the water. "Pick us up our front."


	13. Mumma I'm Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s late.
> 
> I’ve been playing with the idea of Cas meeting Mary and John for ages, and this episode always seemed like a missed opportunity. Thankfully this story gives me the chance to play with that idea. How John and Mary react to Cas. 
> 
> Chapter Title: Taken from the Song of the same name by Ozzy Osborne 
> 
> Episode Dialogue: Song Remains the Same - Written by Steve Boyum

Sam glanced into the back seat of the ‘borrowed’ car. Cas sat slumped in the corner, pale as death. His gaze flickered to his brother who sat beside his husband with a terrified look on his face. “Is he okay?” Sam looked back to the road in front of him.

“Do I look like Dr Angel Medicine Woman?” Dean snapped.

“I’m fine.” Cas grumbled, his eyes still closed, breathing heavily in the silence of the car.

“He’s tough.” Dean nodded, his eyes fixed on the angel. “For a nerdy dude with wings.” he grinned reassuringly, his hands squeezing the back of Cas’s neck lightly.

“Well…” Sam turned his full attention to the road. Unable to watch his brother fret over his lover. “…hopefully if he landed like this, so did Anna. - Should buy us some time.”

The car turned into the Robin Tree and Sam pulled up directly across from 485. Sam’s eyes instantly sort out the house, and he was pushing open the door before the engine had even stopped. Leaping out to rush towards his parent’s home. He heard the sound of feet behind him but didn’t think of stopping till Dean yanked on his arm.

“Dean, Anna could be here any second.” Sam insisted.

“What are you gonna march up and tell them?”

“Uh...the truth.”

“That would be unwise Sam.” Cas said brokenly from behind Dean. Causing the hunter to turn. His hand snapping out to grab Cas’s shoulder.

Dean looked back at his brother.

“Then I'll tell her demons are after them. She thinks you’re a hunter.”

“Yeah. A hunter who disappeared right when her dad died. She’s gonna love me.” Dean scoffed. He looked from his brother to the house with a wary sigh. “Just follow my lead.”

Sam nodded, taking a step to the side to allow Dean to walk ahead with Cas at his side.

On the porch Cas slumped against the walk while Dean knocked. Sam stepping up beside him. After a few minutes the door opened to reveal a young Mary Winchester, a look of surprise, horror and fear on her face.

“Hi Mary.” Dean said with a warm friendly smile.

Mary looked between the two men. “You can’t be here.”

“I’m sorry if this is a bad time….”

“You don’t understand. I’m not….” she pulled the door closer to her body, glancing over her shoulder for a split second. “I _don’t_ do that anymore. I have a _normal_ life now. You have to go.” she moved to close the door, but Dean pressed his palm to the glass.

“I’m sorry, but this is important. Okay?”

A sound behind Mary drew the brother’s attention as their father stepped up to the door.

“Sorry sweetie. They’re just….”

“Mary’s cousins.” Dean quickly inserted. “We couldn’t stop through town without saying hey, now could we?”

John smiled welcomingly at the pair, his eyes flickering to Cas leaning against the wall of the house. “Is he alright?”

Dean’s head snapped around to stare at Cas with concern before forcing a smile and nodding. “Travel sick. - Oh, I’m Dean.” he said quickly to change the subject. Holding out his hand to his father.

“You look familiar?” John frowned, staring at Dean intensely.

“Really? Yeah. You do too actually. Must have met at some time. Small town, right? Gotta love them.”

“I’m John.” he shook Dean’s hand.

“This is Sam….” Dean added, nodding to his brother. “And this is Cas.”

“Sam? Uh, Mary’s father was a Sam.”

“It’s a family name.” Cas said from the sidelines. His head hanging as he inhaled deeply.

“You okay, pal?” John asked frowning at Cas.

“Just a long trip.” Dean quickly replied.

“Well, Sam, Dean and Cas were just on their way out….”

“What? They just got here.” John said, looking from his wife to the boys. “And Cas looks like he could use the break. - My mom’s the same, can’t travel fifty miles without needing to pu….”

“ _John_.”

“Sorry.” he grinned sheepishly. “Come on in guys. Real happy to meet folks from Mary’s side. Want a beer?”

“You twisted my arm.” Dean grinned, reaching out to grab Cas’s arm and drag him cautiously into the house.

They settled down on the couch. Cas slumped between Dean and Sam, a glass of water hanging from his fingers. His eyes closed as he inhaled deeply though his nose and fought back another wave of nausea.

“You sure he’s okay?”

Dean’s hand fell on Cas’s knee out of habit, giving it a gentle squeeze. “He’s fine.” he nodded.

John looked between them for a few seconds. His eyes calculating and uncertain.

“You’re so beautiful.” Sam suddenly announced.

Dean’s head snapped around to stare at his brother, partly grateful for the distraction from his dad’s searching observation. He could see the pieces working to slot into place and couldn’t fight the fear that was building inside him. He’d tried never to think of what his dad would make of his choices. Of whether he’d be ashamed. It was easier that way. Forcing a smile he grabbed onto the life-line Sam had thrown him.

“He means that in a non-weird, wholesome, family kind of a way.”

“Yeah, right.” Sam insisted, his face a perfect picture of horror and shock.

“We haven’t seen Mary in quite some time…” Dean went on quickly. “...and see, she’s the spitting image of our mom. - I mean. It’s….”

“Eerie.” Sam nodded.

“So how are you guys related?” John asked, leaning forward in his seat.

“Distantly.” Dean answered.

“So you knew Mary’s parents?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Dean nodded. “Mary’s dad was pretty much like a grandpa to us.”

“It’s tragic.” John murmured sadly, looking at Mary. “That heart attack.”

Dean stared at Mary. The memory of that night flooding back to him. His inability to stop the yellow eyed demon. Watching the son of a bitch drive a knife into Samuel's gut before he broke his grandmother’s neck. The worst part was watching Mary make the deal what would cost them all everything. “Yes. It was.” he said finally, his gaze burning into Mary. He jerked at the touch of a hand on his arm. Looking down to see Cas’s hand giving it a gently squeeze, offering him comfort and support. Just as he had that night. He met the angel’s gaze softly, a small smile on his face.

“So, uh…” John coughed uncomfortably. “What are you guys doing in town anyway?”

“Work.” Dean said quickly. Snapping his arm out from under Cas’s grip like he’d been burnt.

“What line of work?”

“Pluming.” Sam said at the same instant Dean answered.

“Scrap metal.”

“Oh gosh.” Mary said suddenly, leaping to her feet. “It’s almost 7. I hate to be rude, but I gotta get dinner ready.”

“Maybe they could stay.” John said quickly.

“I’m sure they have to leave.” Mary glared at Dean instantly.

The phone ringing pulled all their attention. John slowly getting to his feet. “Uh, look, please stay. You know, it’d mean a lot to me. I haven’t met much of Mary’s side of the family.”

“Thank you.” Dean nodded, smiling warmly.

The moment John was out of the room, Dean and Sam were on their feet as Mary demanded that they leave. “Okay, just listen….”

“No. You listen. Last time I saw you, a demon killed my parents.” Mary snapped. “Now you waltz in here like you’re family? Whatever you want, no. Leave me alone.”

“You and John are in danger.” Sam snapped back.

“What are you talking about?” Mary frowned, looking between the pair.

“Something’s coming for you.” Dean sighed.

“Demon?”

“Not exactly.”

“What, then?”

“It’s kind of hard to explain, okay?” Dean said cautiously.

“An angel.” Castiel suddenly announced getting to his feet and stepping up to Dean’s side. Swaying slightly.

Mary looked at him like he was crazy. “There’s no such thing.”

Dean looked down at Cas. “Believe it or not, there are.”

“And why would an angel wanna kill us?” Mary murmured, looking between them. “Long story….”

“You’re children are destiny to start the apocalypse.” Cas stated matter-of-factly.

Mary’s eyes widened with fear. “What?”

“Also, you know, stop it.” Dean insisted, glaring at Cas. “Like I said, it’s a long story. - We’ll tell you everything but right now, you’ve gotta trust us and we gotta go.” Dean said firmly.

Mary looked at him doubtfully, tears pooling in her eyes, shaking her head.

“Look at my face and tell me if I’m lying to you.” Dean said softly, meeting his mom’s blue eyes. His own filling with tears.

Mary inhaled slowly. “Okay. Where do we go?”

“Out of here. We gotta move now.”

“Okay, but what do I tell John?”

“Just tell him….”

“He’s gone.” Cas said with a huff.

Dean, Sam and Mary’s heads snapped around to stare. “What?”

“Where?” Dean insisted.

“I don’t know.”

“Why didn’t you stop him?” Sam asked angrily.

Cas turned to glare dangerously up at his brother-in-law. His eyes showing none of the weakness the sluggishness of his body was.

“Right. Sorry. - Well we need to find him.” Sam said.

Mary rushed into the kitchen, the three men at her heels. On the pad by the phone, a message from John saying he was popping out.

“Where would he have gone?” Dean asked with panic.

Mary lifted the phone received and hit a few numbers. Listening before hang up. “It was the garage.” she frowned. “He’ll be safe at the garage.”

Dean and Sam shared a concerned look. “We…should go pick him up. We can head out of town straight away.”

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

“Anna.” Cas grumbled from the backseat.

Dean’s head snapped around from the driver’s seat. “What?”

“She’s here.”

“Son of a bitch.” Dean snapped, throwing open the car door and leaping out. Sam and Mary right behind him. “You stay in the car. You’re too weak to go up against her right now.”

Cas opened his mouth to argue.

“I said stay.” Dean snapped, pointing at him with a determined finger, before slamming the car door and rushing toward the darkened garage.

The sound of fighting was echoing off the walls as they snuck into the building. Mary moved, wanting to protect her husband but Dean held her back by the arm. “Wait. - Sammy.” he nodded to the wall.

Sam gave a brief nod, tugged his knife out of his jacket and rushed off. Dean watched as Anna swayed on her feet, glad to see Sam had been right about her being as weak as Cas. It gave them the advantage. Pulling Cas’s angel blade from his jacket he looked down at Mary. “Stay here.” then rushed into the fray as John went flying across the room. Refusing to think of the awkward way in which he’d landed. He was just within striking distance when Anna turned, grabbing his arm in one hand and his throat in another. Squeezing tight.

“I wish I could say it’s good to see you.” Dean wheezed.

“You too, Dean.” the angel replied coldly. A split second later Dean was flying though the air, crashing through a window and landing painfully on hard concrete.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Cas remained in the car for the whole of ten seconds before he was appearing in the garage crouched beside John Winchester. He’d felt the snap of the man’s neck instant. He pressed his fingers to John’s head, focusing all his power. When John sucked in a sharp breath and looked up at him, he dropped back onto his ass. His eyes searching out Dean as he attacked Anna. He watched as Dean was thrown, almost in slow motion, through a window. Staggering to his feet he looked around for Sam, who was at the far end of the garage painting angel banishing sigils on the walls in blood. He looked down at John again. “Stay here.” he ordered before he was gone. Reappearing unsteadily next to Dean. His hand on the hunters head.

Dean opened his eyes to look up at Cas. “I told you to stay in the car.”

“Anna killed your father….”

“What?”

“I healed him.” Cas clarified before swaying and landing back against the wall. The sounds of shouting and metal hitting metal ringing from inside the building.

Dean got to his knees and crawled over to Cas, his hand on the man’s jaw. “You alright?”

“Go help your mother. Sam isn’t finished yet.” Cas insisted weakly.

Dean looked torn but with a shove to his shoulder he was on his feet and rushing back to the building. He reached the door just in time to see Mary thrusting a crowbar into Anna’s chest. His eyes flickered to the end of the garage and sighed with relief as Sam finished the last of the sigils.

“Sorry, it’s not that easy to kill an angel.” Anna said almost regretfully.

“No.” Sam called. “But you can distract them.” he slammed his hand into the wall and white light filled the room.

Dean covered his eyes. When it faded he looked from Sam to Mary and nodded, before rushing back to Cas, who was still slumped back against the wall.

Slipping his arm around Cas’s waist he helped him to his feet and part carried, part dragged him towards the cars. He turned at the sound of voices to see Mary rushing after John, looking panicked while Sam walked slowly behind the pair.

“John, I can explain.”

“I don’t want to….” he shook his head, heading for the Impala.

“We need to get out of here. Somewhere save.” Dean said firmly, resting Cas against the side of the car. “That means all of us.” he added, blocking John’s way.

“I don’t….”

“I know a place.” Mary nodded. "About twenty miles outside town.”

Dean nodded. “Sammy, get the bag.” he turned, grabbed Cas’s lapels and yanked him towards the back of the Impala, pulling open the door and gently easing him inside, before sliding in next to him. Ignore all attempts at protest from his father. Sam climbed in on the other side of Cas a few moments later. Then Mary and John were in the front seats and they were pulling away from the garage. Mary giving John the directions to the safe house.

It was another ten minutes before the shock finally seemed to set in and the questions started. “Alright start talking.”

Dean looked at Sam. “Huh….”

“Not you.” John snapped. “Mary?”

“It’s a long story.” she said on an exhale. “I…hunt things.”

“Things?”

“Monsters.”

John stared out of the windscreen, his fingers white knuckling the steering wheel. The silence in the car suffocating.

“Monsters. - _Monsters_?”

“Yes.” Mary sighed.

“Monsters are _real_.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know how to….”

“And you _fight_ them? All of you?” he glanced into the back seat accusingly. "And what's he?"

"Angel." Cas replied weakly.

"Angel?" John looked into the backseat. "Angel's are real?"

“Yeah.” Sam nodded.

John shook his head. “How long?”

"For eter...." Cas began to reply.

"He's talking to mo....Mary." Dean whispered.

"Oh." Cas nodded.

“All my life.” Mary murmured quietly. “John….” she sighed. “…just try to understand….”

“She didn’t have a choice….” Dean tried to defend.

“Yeah she….” Sam added.

“It was desti….” Cas said weakly.

“Shut up _all of you_!” John snapped. “Look, not another word or so help me; I will turn this car around!”

Dean glanced over at Sam, a smile fighting at the corners of his lips. “Wow, awkward family road trip.”

“No kidding.” Sam snorted.

Dean turned his full attention to Cas, whose head had lulled to rest on his shoulder. “You okay?”

“I’m fine Dean. I’m just a little drained.”

Dean’s fingers instinctively reached for Cas’s hand. Gripping it tight. He turned his head slightly and pressed his lips unthinkingly to Cas’s temple. Sam’s cough beside them had Dean’s head snapping up. Sam nodded subtly at the front. Glancing Dean met his father’s eyes in the rear view mirror. A look of understand and what Dean took to be disgust on his face. Tearing his eyes away from them, he dropped them to his lap. He didn’t move to let go of Cas’s hand though. There was no point. His father knew now. 


	14. Running Out Of Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode dialogue: Song Remains the Same written by Steve Boyum  
> Chapter Title: Taken from the Song of the same title by Ozzy Osborne.
> 
> Sorry I missed last week. Suffering Internet and computer issues. Working to fix it. Fingers crossed.

Cas sat on the chair; his eyes closed fighting to keep the dizziness and nausea at bay. He’d been having trouble trying to focus since healing John. It had drained him more than he‘d expected and once again he was hit with the consequences of his decisions. Not that he‘d make different one. His biggest fear right then though was that he might be unable to get them home. That thought only made the nausea worse.

The thought of leaving Jamie without a father. Of never seeing her again sent a cold chill through him. He’d grown to care for her as much as he did Dean. He wanted to protect her, which meant saving her grandparents. He’d known deep down that this was going to be a one way trip. That they’d be trapped, which was why he hadn’t wanted to bring the brother’s along. But Dean was a stubborn pig-head idiot. And now Jamie was going to grow up without him.

“You okay?” Dean asked, crouching down in front of him. His hand on Cas’s knee.

“I’m….”

“Yeah, yeah. Fine. I know. - How are you really?”

“Weak.” he sighed. “Dean I’m….Dean I’m not sure….” he swallowed down the tightness in his throat. “…I don’t know if I can get us home Dean.”

Dean stiffened at the announcement. “Don’t be ridiculous. You just need to rest. You’ll get us back Cas. I know you will.”

Cas looked at his husband doubtfully. “I fear you have too much faith in me Dean.”

Dean cupped his jaw, his thumb rubbing reassuringly against the rough stubble. “I’m just returning the favour.” he smiled before drawing Cas closer to press their lips together.

The clearing of a throat had Dean pulling back sharply, his head turning to stare at his mom, who was looking at them with wide eyes.

“Huh….” Dean swallowed, leaping to his feet.

“Well I guess now I know why you freaked out about the prospect of us.” she smiled warmly.

“Huh, not exactly the reason but….” he looked down at Cas.

“I knew this guy in school. Tommy Webber. He was….you know…” she shook her head sadly. “Everyone found out. - He was found a week later beaten to death.”

Dean’s eyes widened. “What?”

“I’m just saying, you might want to be more….discreet. At least in Lawrence.”

Dean nodded. “John’s….” he cleared his throat. “We’ll do that. Don’t want to make John….uncomfortable.”

“John?” Mary frowned.

“Yeah. He clearly doesn’t….”

“John was Tommy’s best friend. He understands….” she waved her hand between Dean and Cas. “He’d never….” she shook her head. “He’s just pissed about all of this. It’s not you two. It’s me.”

Dean smiled softly at his mom.

“So, now that that’s cleared up, you ready to explain just what the hell is going on here?”

“Wow, drastic subject change.” Dean chuckled.

“When your ready?” Mary settled on the edge of a couch. “An angel wants to kill me? Because my future children are going to both destroy and save the world?”

“And because they’re dicks.”

Cas cleared his throat, glaring up at Dean.

“Okay, their not all dicks. Some after pretty awesome.” he grinned.

Mary wasn’t stupid. “You’re an angel?” she asked, staring at Cas with wide uncertain eyes.

“Yes. Castiel. I raised Dean from perdition.”

Mary’s eyes snapped to Dean. “You were in hell?”

Dean frowned, shrugged and settled back onto the arm of Cas’s chair. “Part of that long story.”

“Okay so, the sooner you start telling me, the shorter it’ll be.”

Dean inhaled slowly, looking down at Cas, who nodded at him encouragingly. Finally he turned back to Mary. “It’s kind of hard to believe.”

Mary tilted her head. “I can believe a lot.”

“I’m your son.” Dean said matter-of-factly.

Mary stared at him with wide eyes. “What?”

“I’m your son. I’m sorry. I don’t know how else to say it.” Dean murmured softly. “We’re from the year 2010. Cas zapped us back here.”

“You can’t expect me to believe that?”

“It is true.” Cas confirmed. “Anna, the angel that attacked you is trying to prevent Sam and Dean’s birth under the believe that she can’t stop….”

Dean rested his hand on Cas’s shoulder, silencing him. “Our names are Dean and Sam ….Winchester. We’re named after your parents. - When I would get sick you would make me tomato rice soup because that’s what your mom made you. - And instead of a lullaby you would sing _Hey Jude_. That’s your favourite Beatles song.”

Mary shook her head, tears rolling down her flushed cheeks. “I….” she wiped at her eyes, leaning forward on her elbows. “I don’t believe it. No.” he looked up at Dean, eye welling up.

“I’m sorry, but it’s true.”

“I raised _my kids_ to be hunters?”

“No, no. You didn’t.” Dean shook his head, slipping off the arm of the chair and kneeing down in front of Mary.

“How could I do that to you?”

“You didn’t do it…” Dean insisted. He forced down the lump in his throat before continuing. “Because….you’re dead.”

“What…? What happened?”

“Yellow-eyed demon.” Dean said, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. “Came to collect on the deal you made. He killed you…and John became a hunter to get revenge. He raised us in this life.”

Dean stared at his mom, watching the guilt and regret flood over her. Seeing the pain of knowing what she’d done take hold. “Listen to me. A demon comes into Sam’s nursery, exactly six months after he’d born. November 2nd, 1983.…”

“Dean.”

Dean sends a glare over his shoulder before turning back to Mary. “Remember that date and whatever you do….do not go in there. You wake up and you take Sam, and you run.”

“Dean it won’t change anything. We’ve been through this before.” Cas insisted.

“She can leave Dad.” Sam’s voice announced from the doorway. “Anna’s right. If I never exist this can’t happen. So….” He met Mary’s watery gaze. “You gotta leave John.”

“What?”

“When this is all over walk away and never look back.”

“So we’re never born.” Dean murmured, looking from Sam to Cas.

“Dean….” Cas got to his feet.

“He’s right.” Dean interrupted, his eyes fixed sadly on the angel.

“I can’t. You’re saying that you’re my children and now you’re saying….”

“You have no other choice.”

“Dean.” Cas repeated taking a step forward. “We came here to save you. All of you.”

“There’s a difference between dying and never being born. - Trust me…” he torn his eyes from Cas to settle on his mom. “…we’re okay with it. I promise you that.”

“Well I’m not. Dean.”

“Me neither.” Mary snapped.

“Listen, you think you can have that normal life that you want so bad….” Sam stepped closer to his mom. “but you can’t. It’s all gonna go rotten. You are gonna die and your children will be cursed.”

Cas stared at Dean. Sam’s words burning into his heart.

“There has to be a way.”

“No.” Dean shook his head, eye locked with Cas over Mary’s head. “This is the way.”

“I _can’t_.” Mary shook her head.

“This is bigger than us. There are so many more lives at stake here.”

“You don’t understand. I _can’t_. It’s too late. I’m pregnant.”

Dean stared at his mom. His mind reeling. Of course. He should have known. He should have figured it out. His gaze flickered to Cas who is glaring at him furiously.

“Hey, we got a problem.” John said rushing into the room. “Those blood things, the sigils, they’re gone.”

“Gone as in….?”

“There here!” Cas announced, taking a defensive step towards Mary.

Suddenly the room was deafening. Everyone but Cas grabbing their ears as a high pitched buzz ricocheted off the walls. The lights exploding around them. When the windows blow inwards, Cas moved on instinct, covering Mary with his body. Protecting mother and child. Cas pulled her tight against his body as the back door banged open. He didn’t need to look up to see how’d entered. He could feel it.

“Who the hell are you?”

Cas was on his feet, Mary shielded protectively behind him. “Uriel.”

Dean’s head snapped around. “Uriel? As in junk-less Uriel.”

“Castiel?” the newly arrived angel frowned. “What are you doing here?”

“We could ask you the same thing.” Dean replied in his husband’s stead.

“Castiel. Don’t make this any harder than it has to be.” Anna announced.

Cas’s head snapped around, his arm moving to engulf Mary more fully.

“Anna. Don’t do this.”

Before Anna could say another work Dean was rushing at Uriel, Sam at Anna. Cas grabbed Mary and John, moving them away from the fight.

“Castiel, I never expected you to betray us. You are the most faithful.”

“I still am.” Cas called. “It is you who betrayed me.”

Uriel stared at his brother, his eyes flickering to his hand, his senses reaching out. “You….bound yourself….to a human.” he wrinkled his nose. His head snapping around to frown down at the man at his feet. “ _This_ human?” he shook his head as he brought back his foot to connect with Dean’s ribs.

Cas forced himself to hold back. To protect Mary and John as Dean was beaten. His gaze flickered to Sam and Anna just in time to see Sam go flying across the room. Cas rushed forward, his angel blade in his hand.

“You should have stayed away Castiel.” Anna said furiously. “You can’t possibly protect them. You’re weak.”

“So are you.” Cas countered, taking a swing at his sister angel.

He was proven wrong though. Anna wasn’t as weak as he was. He hadn’t expelled her energy in saving John. It didn’t take much for her to send him crashing through on of the partition walls. He landed awkwardly on the stairs. His head lying against the steps in an unnatural angle, blood dripping from his mouth and nose.

Dean yelled as he saw the screen play out in front of him through blood filled eyes. He watched in horror, a second before Uriel hit him again, as John rushed at Anna, Cas’s angel blade in his hand. Dean didn’t see what happened necked but Mary’s scream and the sound of shattering glass was enough to fill in the blanks. The next thing he was able to see was Sam, blood pouring from his mouth and stomach, clutching a iron pipe. Seconds later he was bleeding out on the floor, deathly white.

“Sam!”

Dean stared at his dad appeared. His gut tightening with the realisation.

“Anna.”

“Michael.”

Dean gasped in a deep breath as Uriel realised him. The pair of them staring at Anna burst into flames at the touch of the archangel’s hand. When she was nothing but ash on the floor, Michael turned to stare at the remaining angel.

“Michael? I didn’t know.”

“Goodbye, Uriel.” Michael said firmly, clicking his fingers.

Dean gasped for air as the angel vanished. He listened to his mom in the next room before there was silence and the familiar sound of a body hitting the ground. Pushing himself off the counter Dean moved as quickly as his broken body could carry him. His eyes searching out his mom, Sam and Cas.

“Well, I’d say this conversation is long overdue, wouldn’t you?”

“Fix him.” Dean demanded pointing to Sam. “Cas too.”

“Castiel is fine. He’s merely unconscious. As for Sammy, I think we’ll talk first.”

“How’d you get in my dad anyway?”

“I told him I could save his wife and he said yes.” Michael smiled.

“I guess they oversold me….being your one and only vessel.” Dean scoffed.

“You’re my true vessel, but not my only one.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It’s a bloodline.” Michael sighed warily. Like he was already bored of explaining himself.

“A bloodline?”

“Stretching back to Cain and Abel. It’s in your blood, your father’s blood. Your daughter’s blood.”

“Awesome. Six degrees of Heaven Bacon. - What do you want with me?”

Michael grinned. “You really don’t know the answer to that?”

“Well, you know I ain’t gonna say yes, so why are you here? What do you want with me?”

“I just want you to understand what you and I have to do.”

“Oh, I get it.” Dean insisted. “You got a beef with your brother. Well, get some therapy, pal. Don’t take it out on my planet.”

Michael rolled his eyes, turning from Dean to walk over and stare down at Sam. “You’re wrong. No, Lucifer defied out father, and he betrayed me, but still, I don‘t want this any more than you would wanna kill Sam. - You know, my brother. I practically raised him. I took care of him in a way most people could never understand and I still love him. But I’m going to kill him because it is right and I have to.”

“Oh, because God says so?”

“Yes. From the beginning, he knew this was how it was going to end.”

“And you’re just gonna do whatever God says?”

“Yes, because I’m a good son.”

“Trust me, pal, take it from someone who knows, that is a dead-end street.”

“And you think you know better than my father? One unimportant little man. What make you think you get to choose?”

“Because I gotta believe that I can choose what I do…with my unimportant little life.”

“You’re wrong.” Michael smiled coldly. “You know how I know? Think of a million random acts of chance that let John and Mary be born, to meet…to fall in love, to have the two of you. Think of the million random choices that you make….and yet how each and every one of them brings you closer to your destiny.”

Dean stared over at Cas. His heart pounding in his chest. Behind his eyes. In his ears. He wanted to ignore Michael. Wanted to tell himself that the archangel was lying. Manipulating him to say yes. But he couldn’t. Running over and over in his mind, everything he’d done and said. Jamie. Cas.

“Do you know why that is? Because it’s not random. It’s not chance. It’s a plan that is playing itself out perfectly. - Free will’s an illusion, Dean.”

Dean stomach rolled. Protesting the truth in Michael’s words.

“That’s why you’re going to say yes. - Oh, buck up. It could be worse. You know, unlike my brothers I won’t leave you a drooling mess when I’m done wearing you. - And I’ll even let you keep Castiel.”

“What about my dad?”

“Better than new. In fact, I’m gonna do your mom _and_ your dad a favour.

“What?”

“Scrub their minds. They won’t remember me or you.”

“You can’t do that!”

“I’m just giving your mother what she wants. She can go back to her husband, her family.”

“She’s gonna walk right into that nursery.”

“I thought Castiel had told you Dean. You can’t change destiny. No matter how hard you try.

Dean watched as Michael crouched down in front of Sam, pressing his fingers to his brother’s head. Sam vanished, the pipe that had been embedded in his gut hitting the floor. Slowly Michael got to his feet and headed back to Dean. Raising his hand. “He’s home. Safe and Sound. - You’re turn.”

“What about Cas?” Dean looked over to where the angel was still lying on the floor.

Michael followed his gaze. “Oh. He’ll be right behind you.”

“What are you going to do with him?” Dean demanded, but there was no real fight left in his voice.

“Nothing. You won’t even have time to miss him.” Michael smiled. “I’ll see you soon, Dean.”

 

 


	15. Come Home To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry it’s taken me so long to post this chapter. Two reason’s really, 1) been hit by the dreaded curse of writer’s block. You wouldn’t think it was possible in a story based on actual episodes, but amazingly. 2) My computer went down the shit-shoot a few weeks ago and its keeps crashing on me, which has made it impossible to write and post. - I’m even cut off from Tumblr, which is like hell. I tell. HELL!!!! But I’ll try not to have such a large gap between chapters again. I’ll even make it my New Year’s resolution.

Cass sat on the edge of the bed, staring out at the clear night sky. Michael’s taunting words swirling around in his head. He tried to tell himself it was all lies. That Michael was just trying to manipulate Dean through him. He had to believe that his father was out there. Would help if he just knew what was happening.

“Cass?”

He didn’t turn at the sound of Dean’s voice. He felt the bed dip behind him as Dean took a seat. The pair sitting back to back in silence. The only sound the gentle in/out of Jamie’s breathing.

“What did he say to you Cass?” Dean whispered.

“Nothing.” Cass lied. “What did he say to you?”

Dean locked eyes with Jamie’s crib, Michael’s words swirling around his head. “Just the usual.”

The bed moved as Dean got to his feet. Cass listened as he moved around behind him once more, the sound of clothing being removed, before he felt the tug of bedclothes and the bed dipping once again.

“You coming to bed?” Dean murmured.

Cass tore his gazes from the moon to meet Dean’s wary green eyes.

Getting to his feet he began to strip, folding his overcoat neatly before draping it over the end of the bed. His jacket, shirt and slacks followed. Dressed only in his underwear, he pulled back the cover and slipped beneath, settling silently against the pillow. A suffocating tension blanketing the pair.

“Night Cass.” Dean said after a few minutes, turning onto his side.

“Goodnight Dean.”

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean sat at the table, his feet up, his eyes fixed on the coroners report, through his mind wasn’t completely on the case. He was becoming more antsy about being away from Jamie and couldn’t help questioning how his father did it. How he’d been able to leave them week after week, sometimes for months at a time. It was killing him being away from his daughter. But he kept telling himself it was to keep her safe, to making the world a better place for her and that was probably what his dad told himself too. At least he hoped that was his father’s reasoning, and it was just about revenge.

What was making his absents harder was the distance that had grown between him and Cass since their encounter with Michael. The angel had become almost obsessed with finding God, spending more and more time away searching. He hadn’t even come back for Christmas, like it hadn’t been tense enough for them all after already losing close friends and with the prospect of it being their last. To say Dean was pissed would be an understatement.

He was pulled from his thoughts at the sound of the door, glancing up to see his brother stumbling over the threshold with a bag of food. “How’d it go?”

“No EMF. No sulphur. Ghost possession and demonic possession are both probably out.” Sam replied, laying his meal on the table before moving to strip off his jacket.

“Uh.” Dean grunted. “That’s where I was putting my money.”

“Nope.” Sam shook his head.

“Well then, what then?” Dean sighed, stretching the knots out of his back. “Oh and dude at the coroner’s. You didn’t see these bodies. I mean these two started eating and they just kept goin’. I mean their stomachs were full. Like, Thanksgivings dinner full. Talk about co-dependent.”

Sam cringed at the idea, dropping down into the chair opposite his brother. “Well, I mean, we got out feelers out. Not much more we can do tonight.”

With a sigh Dean got to his feet, making his way slowly to the fridge to grab a fresh beer.

“Alright, I’m just gonna go through some files, you can go ahead and get going.” he smiled, pulling the computer closer.

“Sorry?” Dean frowned, twisting the lid on the bottle.

“Go ahead, unleash the Kraken. See you tomorrow.”

“Where am I going?”

“Dean, it’s Valentine’s Day. Your favourite holiday and this year you’ve actually got someone to spend it with who isn’t likely to give you herpes.”

Dean sobered. “Yeah. - Huh, yeah well….be that as it may, I don’t know…” he inhaled deeply, tossing the bottle lid over his shoulder. “Guess I’m not feeling it this year.”

Sam stared at Dean with confused and concerned. “So your not going to do anything?”

“Nuh, I guess not.” Dean shrugged, lifting the bottle to his lips. “What?”

“It’s when a dog doesn’t eat that’s when you know something’s wrong.” Sam murmured, his eyes burning into his brother’s tight features.

Dean exhaled warily, dropping back down into his seat opposite Sam. “Remarkably patronizing concern duly noted. - Nothings wrong. Cass is just busy. Are we gonna work or what?” he murmured, trying desperately to avoid the subject of his relationship.

Things had been strained with Cass for months now. Ever since their return from the past. They’d barely spent any time together. Cass always rushing off to continue his hunt for god. He hadn’t even come back to spend Christmas with them. Dean felt his brother’s eyes burning into him like lazars.

“Dean, come on. I know there’s something wrong. You guys have been off for months.” Sam voiced.

“Look, we’re just…we’ve got a lot going on. We don’t live in each other’s pockets for God’s sake!”

“I know that Dean. But….ever since Michael….you guys have barely been in the same room together.”

Dean’s shoulder’s slumped warily. “I know.” he sighed miserably. “You don’t think I know. Michael said something to him. I just know it but he won’t talk about it. It’s like he’s obsessed with this god hunt.”

“So maybe call him. Take a few hours just the two of you. - This can wait. - It’s not like we’ve got any leads anyway.”

Dean rolled that over in his head for all of three seconds, before shaking it. “No. If he couldn’t spare an hour for Christmas dinner, he’d not going to take time now. - Let’s just work the case okay. So I can get back to someone who actually does want to spend time with me.”

Sam opened his mouth to protest but swiftly changed his mind at the glare on his brother’s face; he resigned to get back to work.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

The pair sat at the examination table, elbow deep in body parts. This really wasn’t what Dean wanted to be doing on Valentine’s Day. Part of him had been screaming to just go out to a bar like be usually did. Only he couldn’t. He was a married man now, though he was having a hard time remembering that these past few months. And Dean maybe many things but a cheating husband wasn’t one of them. He just wished things weren’t so strained between him and Cass. The distance was killing him slowly cause he wasn’t just losing his husband but his best friend. His only friend. He suddenly understood why Sam had been so concerned going into the whole marriage thing.

These hearts both have identical marks. Check the out.”

Dean pushed himself of the stool and glanced over his brother’s shoulder.

“It looks like some kind of letter. - Oh. No.”

“What?”

“I think its Enochian.”

Dean frowned. “You mean like angel scratches? So you think its like the tagging on our ribs?”

“Dean, I don’t know.”

Dean closed his eyes and groaned. Well this was going to be fun. “Ah, hell.” ripping off the rubber gloves he reached into his pockets. His heart racing as he hit speed dial. The moment Cass’s voice floated into his ears he released the breath he hadn’t even realised he was holding. “Cass. It’s Dean. - Yeah. Room 31C. Basement level. St James medical center.” Lifting his eyes he stopped as he come toe to toe with his angel and hated that his heart skipped a beat.

“I’m there now.” Cass replied, staring directly at Dean.

“Yah. I get that.” Dean wanted to smile. It was pulling at the corner of his lips. How exactly had he ended up with such a doffus?

“I’m gonna hang up now.” Cass murmured.

“Right.”

Cass lowered the phone, his thumb disconnecting the call. “Dean.”

“Cass.” The tension was almost suffocating. Dean stood unsure how to greet the other man. Clearing his throat, he finally turned away, marching back to the examination table. “We’ve got something we need you to see.” he stated matter-of-factly.

“Hey Cass.” Sam smiled awkwardly.

“Sam. What do you have?”

“We think there Enochian.” Sam murmured, pushing the tray towards his brother-in-law.

Cass stared down at the heart, lifting it out of the tray. Dean watched with a cringe at the ease Cass touched the blood body part, like it was nothing at all.

“Your right Sam. These are angelic marks. I’ll imagine you’ll find similar marks on the other couples hearts as well.”

“So, what are they? I mean, what do they mean?” Sam asked intrigued.

“It’s a mark of union. This man and woman were intended to mate.”

“Okay, but who put them there?” Dean frowned. His hand unconsciously rubbing at his own chest.

Cass turned and began to pace the room slightly. “Your people call them cupid.” he stated.

“A what?” Sam gapped.

“What human myth has mistaken for cupid is actually a lower order of angel. Technically, it’s a cherub, third class.”

“A cherub?” Dean remarked disbelieving.

“Yeah. There all over the world dozens of them.” Cass turned back.

“You mean the little fat kid in diapers?” Dean wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or….well actually he just wanted to laugh.

Cass turned to stare at his husband. “There not incontinent.”

“Okay.” Sam interrupted. “Anyway. So, what you’re saying is…”

“What I’m saying is a cupid has gone rouge.” Ross snapped angrily. “And we have to stop his before he killed again.”

“Naturally.” Sam shrugged.

“Of course we do.” Dean nodded with a smirk. Seriously, cupid?

“So where exactly are we going to find this cupid?” Dean asked as seriously as he could manage.

“I’m not sure.” Cass sighed, glancing over to Dean nervously. “Somewhere people go to find love?”

“What like bars? Clubs?”

“Is that where you go?” he asked meeting Dean’s gaze. Almost accusingly.

Dean inhaled sharply, his jaw tightened. “I used to go to local bars.” he replied, emphasising the past tense.

“Huh.” Sam cleared his throat, suffocating under the tension. “There’s a…restaurant a block from the motel that’s having some kind of singles thing tonight. - Maybe we should try there? - Or maybe you guys could go you know, go on your own.”

Dean glared at his brother. “It’ll be safer if we all go.”

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

The ride over to the restaurant was awkward beyond believe, especially with the way Cass’s eyes kept turning into the back of Dean’s neck, making glance into the rear-view mirror. What he saw in those heavy blue eyes sent shivers down his spine, causing his fingers to tightened around the steering wheel. Dean had never been more relieved to be out of the Impala in his life.

“This is the place.” Cass suddenly announced.

They strolled into the restaurant and found a corner table that looked out over the whole room. A waitress smiled a welcome and took their order before leaving them alone.

Dean almost leapt out of his skin at the first touch of Cass’s hand on his thigh under the table, causing Sam to look at them when Dean‘s knee hit the underside of the table. Roll his eyes, Sam pretend to be concentrating on the room, his lips drawn into a tight line as he fought not to laugh. Dean slipped his hand beneath he table and wrapped his fingers around Cass’s, lifting the hand away before it crept any higher and drew any more attention. Though Dean couldn’t deny the heat that swept through him at the touch.

It had been so long since they’d slept together. It was probably the longest Dean had ever gone without sex in his life, and frankly it was making him irritable. Sam would attest to that. So there was very much a part of him that wanted to ditch the case and take Cass back to the motel. But that really wasn’t an option. “Cass, we’re in public.” he whispered instead. “We’ve had this discussion.”

The angel looked at him confused for a moment, his eyes scanning the crowd. Taking in the men and women who were practically fawning all over one another. “So are these people, yet they’re being less discreet.”

Dean hated it when the universe worked against him. “Yeah, well….their on dates.” he murmured. “We’re on a case.”

Cass stared at the gathered couples almost longingly, while Dean stared at him. It took a moment for Dean to realize they’d never actually had a date. A proper one like normal people. Maybe Sam had been right earlier. Sadly it was too late now, the case had to come first. But when they had this all wrapped up, Dean decided, they could take a few hours. He’d take him out. Hell, if they got this guy tonight they could salvage what was left of Valentine’s Day.

Dean opened his mouth to tell Cass the plan only to snap it shut again when the waitress arrived with their food. Maybe it would be better if it were a surprise, and frankly he really didn’t want to have that conversation in front of his brother anyway. He didn’t want to see the I-told-you-so in his eyes. Dean gave Cass’s fingers a final squeeze before turning his attention to his mean.

He stared down at the burger and found he couldn’t really stomach eating it. It didn’t make him sick, he just….wasn’t hungry any more. Inhale warily he pushed the plate aside, ignoring the concerned look on his brother’s face.

“Wait a minute, your not hungry?”

“No.” Dean shrugged, turning to stare out at the gathering.

Sam stared at him for a long suspicious moment.

“What? I’m not hungry.” Dean snapped with irritation. “So what you just happen to know he likes the cosmos at this place?” he added, turning to Cass, ignoring his brother once again.

“This place is a nexus of human reproduction. It’s exactly the kind of….” Cass trailed off as he focused eerily on the abandoned plate. “….of garden the cupid will come to pollinate…Dean, your not going to finish that?”

Dean stared at the angel with wide eyes. It wasn’t unusual for Cass to eat now, but any other time Dean had to practically for food into the man’s mouth. He’d never asked for food off his own back. He shook his head slowly, watching as Cass dragged the plate towards him and lifting the burger to his mouth. Before he could bite into it however Cass’s head snapped around to stare around the room.

“He’s here.” he stated, slowly lowering the burger to the plate once again.

“Where?” Sam frowned, following Cass’s gaze. “I don’t see anything.”

“There.” Cass pointed across the restaurant to an Asian couple who suddenly couldn’t keep their hands off one another. “Meet me in the back.”

Dean turned to find Cass gone.

“Did he mean both of us, or just you?” Sam laughed wickedly as he got to his feet.

“Shut up.” Dean huffed, waving for the check. Hating that his brother’s comment was causing his mind to be bombarded with images.

They arrived to find Cass alone, staring at a wall. His arm stretched out, as iff feeling for something.

“So where is he?” Dean demanded, frowning once Cass had finished mumbling some Enochian spell. He was so focused on watching Cass that he was caught of guard when two large arms wrapped around his chest, lifting him off his feet and hugging him tight.

“Here I am.” said a voice against Dean’s ear.

Cass turned to stare at the pair.

“Help!” Dean wheezed.

“Oh, help is on the way. Yes it is.”

Dean cringed at the man’s breath on the back of his neck. What the hell was Cass doing just standing there? Suddenly the damn cupid let him go, marching past him to wrap Cass in the same painfully tight hug. Dean stood torn between horror, anger and amusement as Cass’s face.

“This is cupid?” Dean frowned.

“Yes.” Cass nodded; his face slightly red.

“And look at you.” Cupid grinned turned heading towards Sam.

“Is this a fight?” Dean asked, watching the large naked angel marching determinedly towards his brother. “Are we in a fight?”

“This is their….handshake.” Cass sighed warily.

“I don’t like it.” Dean cringed. 

“No one does.”

Finally the cupid released Sam from the crushing bear hug to padded back over to Dean and Cass, looking between them knowingly, making Cass shift awkwardly under the angel’s stare, before Cupid’s face split with a wide smile.

“So what can I do for you?”

“Why are you doing this?” Cass demanded.

“Doing what?” Cupid frowned, looking between them.

“Your targets the one’s you’ve marked they’re slaughtering are order.” Cass started furiously.

“What?” Cupid gapped. “They are….?”

“Listen, birthday suit we know. We know you’ve been flittering around, popping people with poisoned arrows making them murder each other!” Dean snapped.

“You think that I?” the large cherub stared in shock. Looking from one man to another, before slowly breaking down, weeping. “Well….huh…I don’t know what to say.”

Dean stared uncomfortable as the cherub wept, professing his innocence. Demanding that Cass see for himself that he wasn‘t the murderer, Dean watched Cass take a step forward and stare into the other cherubs eyes, and hated the wave of jealously that suddenly flooded him.

“He’s telling the truth.” Cass said after a few minutes.

“Jiminy Christmas, thank you.” Cupid sighed, his shoulders slumping.

“Wait. Wait. You said you were just following order whose orders.”

Cupid laughed. “Heavens, silly. Heaven.”

“Why does heaven care if Harry meets Sally?”

Cupid looked at him like he’d grown a second head. “Oh, mostly they don’t.” he shook his head. “You know, certain bloodlines, certain destinies. - Like yours.” he grinned proudly.

Dean stared, mouth gaping while anger slowly seeped into his body.

“What?” Sam frowned, stepping closer.

“Yeah. The union of John and Mary Winchester. Very big deal upstairs. Top priority arrangement. - Of course, you two…”Cupid looked between Dean and Cass, shaking his head, tatting.

“Are you saying you fixed up our parents?” Dean pressed; his voice grievously low. Cass taking a step towards him, placing his hand on Dean’s arm to hopefully calm him.

“Well, not me, but yeah. - Oh it wasn’t easy. Oh they couldn’t stand each other at first, but when we were done with them, perfect couple.”

“Perfect.” Dean whispered dangerously.

“Yeah.” Cupid smiled brightly.

“Their dead!” Dean yelled furiously.

“Dean….” Cass tightened his hand around the hunters arm. Holding him back with a light but strong touch.

“Oh, I’m sorry. - but the orders were very clear. You and Sam needed to be born. Your parents were just meant to be. A match made in heaven.” Cupid sang, still grinning like a fool. As if he couldn’t see or sense the anger boiling over inside Dean.

But it was there. After months of being told it was his destiny, that he couldn’t fight it. That it was just meant to be, he couldn’t take it any more. Not caring about the damage he’d most likely causing his hand, he swung.

As he’d expected pain shot though his fingers and up his arm, pulsing through her arm. He stared down at his hand. When he looked up from his throbbing fingers Cupid was gone. “Where is he? - Where’d he go!”

“I believe you upset him.” Cass sighed.

“Upset him?” Dean yelled, glaring at his husband. “Are you kidding me?”

“Dean, enough.” Sam sighed, rubbing at his eyes.

“What?” Dean turned sharply to stare at his brother with raised brows.

“You just punched Cupid.”

“I punched a dick!”

“Uh. You guys need to talk about what’s up with you two lately!” Sam snapped, finally reaching breaking point.

“Drop it.” Dean warned.

“No. Because you’ve been edgy for weeks…no, months. You guys need….”

“Just keep your damn nose out of my life Sam!” Dean shouted furiously before marching away.

“Cass.” Sam sighed warily. “Just…talk to him will you. - Please.”

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Cass found Dean sitting in the Impala, his fingers strangling the steering wheel, while his forehead rested against it. He sat watching his husband, feeling the tension and anxiety beside him.

“He didn’t know Dean.” Cass murmured gently. “He was just following orders.”

Dean grunted, he didn’t wanting to talk about it.

They sat in silence for a few moments, just listening to the others breathing.

“Are you going to flutter off somewhere again?” Dean asked quietly.

“No Dean. I’ll stay to help with the case.”

“The case.” Dean scoffed bitterly. “Not because you want to say spend time with me.” he glared at his hands. “I’ve barely seen you the last couple of months.”

“Finding God is important Dean.” Cass insisted harshly.

“I know! You don’t think I know?” He turned angry eyes on the angel. “It doesn’t mean you can’t take a few fucking hours to spend time with me and Jamie! Geez! - I always take a couple of days between hunts to spend with her. I refused to turn into my father!”

Cass stared at his lap guilty. “I - I’m just trying to protect you. Both of you. If I find God he can fix this.”

Dean huffed a cold laugh. “And what if he doesn’t Cass? What then?”

The angel met Dean’s doubtful gaze. “I have to believe Dean.”

Dean inhaled slowly, seeing the desperation in the angel’s eyes. “Look, Cass. I get it. - Just….I just want to see you okay. Even if its just for an hour.”

Cass paused thoughtfully for a minute before nodding. “Okay Dean.”

“Good.” Dean released the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. His death grip on the steering wheel relaxing. “So…you want to go get something to eat.”

“I’d rather go back to your room, Dean.” Cass replied; his voice low and rougher that usual.

“We can do that.” Dean grinned, tugging his cell out of his pocket and shooting off a ‘stay away’ text to Sam, before starting the car.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

They were barely three feet from the car before Cass began groping at Dean. The hunter inhaled sharply as his angelic lover slipping his cool hands beneath his shirt, pressing flat palms against his heated bare skin. Dean fumbled brainlessly for the motel room key. The moment the thing turned in the lock he was being manhandled inside, Cass using his inhuman to throw Dean against the nearest wall as the door fell shut. The moment Dean’s back was against the wall, Cass was on him. His mouth desperately seeking out his lovers. The kiss was nothing like they’d shared before. It was filled with desperation and hunger. As if Cass couldn’t survive without it. Dean wouldn’t deny it. He’d never felt so turned on. It was breath stealing. His whole body blazing with the intensity of the act.

Dean’s hands threaded through Castiel’s hair, tugging slightly as the kiss deepened. The angel’s body arching into Dean’s, showing the hunter just how in the moment Cass was. It was almost as if the man was possessed, and Dean momentarily wondered if he should maybe slow things down and make sure it really was his angelic husband he was currently rutting against like a jack-rabbit. But when Cass’s hands tugged at the fastening of his jeans, the whole idea vanished.

Dean moaned pathetically at the first touch of Cass’s hand on his dick. Inhaling sharply around their battling tongues. He fumbled manically with Cass’s over-coat and jacket, before moving swiftly to rid the man of his tie. Cass was twice as frantic in his desire to de-clothe Dean. Practically ripping his shirt from his shoulders. - In fact Dean was sure he heard the sound of tearing fabric. - But he wasn’t complaining. He’d gone without this for too long. Yet as much as he wanted it. Needed it. He didn’t feel as desperate as he thought he should, and he hated that.

Wanting to distract himself from that though, he used his weight to flip them before dropping to his knees, his fingers fumbling with the belt and fly of Cass’s slacks. The angel’s finger threading though his hair. Cass let out a load moan the moment Dean’s lips wrapped around the hardened muscle. Dean closed his eyes and threw himself into making the angel come. It was only the third time he’d been on his knees for Cass, and he still wasn’t overly sure he was doing it right, but the sounds coming for his husband were at least telling him the Cass was okay with is ineptitude.

When the angel came Dean pulled away and got to his feet, rushing to the bathroom to empty his mouth into the toilet. He still couldn’t bring himself to swallow. Strolling out of the bathroom he found Cass still pressed against the way, eyes closed and head back. Dean approached slowly, his hands slipping around the angel’s hips to pull him away from the wall, leading him to the bed. Cass toeing off his shoes and kicking off his trousers as he walked. Before Dean could pull Cass to him, the angel was pushing him down onto the bed, climbing over him to straddle his hips as he kissed him deeply. As they kissed Cass fumbled with his husband’s jeans. Pulling away only long enough to forcing them down the man’s legs. Dean watching him with wide lust filled eyes. Cass had never seemed this desperate before and he couldn’t deny he was liking it.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean stared up at the ceiling, his finger combing aimlessly through Cass’s hair. The room was dark and stale with the scent of sex.

“Don’t go again.” he whispered into the darkness.

There was a long silence before Cass replied. “I need to find God, Dean.”

“I know.” he sighed. “Just, come back.”

Cass turned to look up at the hunter with searching eyes. Even in the darkness Dean knew the angel could see him clearly.

“I’m just trying to keep us all safe, Dean.”

“I know.” he turned his face into the mass of dark hair. “Cass?”

“Yes Dean?”

Dean inhaled slowly. He probably shouldn’t bring it up, not when they were finally getting back to normal, but he had to know. He heard Cass take a breath and go still.

“Cass….?”

“I don’t want to talk about it Dean.” Cass replied firmly.

“We need to Cass. Clearly he said something pretty bad if you’ve been avoiding us for months.”

Cass pushed himself away from his husband, swinging his legs out of the bed. “Dean. Please.”

Dean moved to press his back against the headboard, his eyes locked on the darkness in front of him. He didn’t push, he didn’t say a word.

“He….said he….that I’m…” Cass inhaled sharply, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. “He said if I didn’t get you to say yes to him, he’d kill all of us.”

Dean’s head snapped around. “What.”

“He said he’d take make me and Jamie pay for your disobedience.”

Dean felt the fury flooding into him. He leapt out of the bed, not caring about his nudity. “I’ll fucking kill him!” he yelled.

Cass didn’t move. “But if I convinced you….” he inhaled slowly again. “He’d let me….stay.”

Dean turned sharply to stare at Cass’s back. “Stay?”

“When it was over, he’d let me stay at your side. _Forever_.” Cass turned slightly to meet the man’s gaze. “Angels aren’t….” he shook his head.

“Cass?”

“Dean…” he sighed. “I know you won’t say yes. Not ever. - And when Michael realize that, he’ll come for me and Jamie. Bobby and Sam too. He’ll leave you with nothing.” he shook his head. “So I _have to_ find my father. He’s the only one that can stop him. Dean. He’s the only one that can stop all of this!”

Dean took staring furiously at the angel, his hands clenched in tight fist at his side.

“We can’t win this Dean.” Cass sighed pitifully. “Not with out God.”

Dean slowly moved closer to the angel, dropping himself down next to the man. “Cass. We will win. You hear me, and you’re not going anywhere.” he slid his arm around his lovers shoulders, pulling him closer.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean stared down at the briefcase with a frown. “What the hell’s a demon got to do with this anyway?”

“Believe me, I got no idea.” Sam replied. He’d been back almost twenty minutes had neither of them could think of what to do with the case he’d taken from the demon. “Where’s Cass? Maybe he’ll know?” he’d returned cautiously that morning to find his brother-in-law got, but from the way Dean hadn’t stopped smiling things were once again on track with them. And he hadn’t to admit he was relieved. Dean was always a nightmare when he was in a bad mood, especially if it was because of his feelings, as he refused point blank to actually talk about it with anyone. Sam had come to a conclusion over the past couple of months that it was probably one of the reason’s his brother ‘liked’ Cass. The angel always seemed to know what was wrong with Dean without him ever having to open his mouth.

“He’s gone to sniff around. He should be….” he glanced down at his watch with a deeper frown. “Huh. He should have been back ages ago.” reaching for his phone, he hit the speed dial and waiting. Looking up to Sam. “He’s not answering.” he said after only a few seconds.

“Give him a moment.”

Dean shook his head. “He always answers the first ring. Something’s wrong.”

“Dean its probably nothing. Maybe he just….” he trailed off, not wanting to voice his suspicions that Cass had just gone back to the God Hunt. “Let just try and figure this out.” he turned back to the case.

Dean chewed on his lip, his fingers tight around the phone. “Let’s just open it and find out what’s in it. What’s the worst that can happen?”

Sam glared at his brother, but bent to flip the latches.

The pair reared back at a bright white light filled the room for a few seconds before dimming.

“What the hell was that?” Dean demanded in surprise.

“That was a human soul…”

Dean turned sharply to stare at his angel. “Where the hell have….”

Cass bit into a burger. “It’s starting to make sense.” he murmured around the meat.

“What makes about that makes sense?” Sam stared.

“And when did you start eating without be practically having to put a gun to your head?” Dean gapped.

“Exactly my hunger.” Cass nodded, continuing to chew. “It’s a clue actually.”

“For what?” Dean and Sam asked at the same moment, glancing at each other with confusion.

“This town isn’t suffering from some love-gone-wrong effect. It’s suffering from hunger. Starvation to be exact. Specifically Famine.”

“Famine? As in the Horseman?” Sam gapped, paling slightly.

“Great. That’s freaking great.” Dean grunted angrily. Turning to glare accusingly at the case, as if it was to blame for their current situation.

“I thought famine meant starvation, like as in you know, food?”

“Yes, absolutely.” Cass nodded eagerly. “But not just food. I mean everyone seems to be starving for something. Sex….” he glanced at Dean for a second with a spark in his eyes that made both brother’s slightly uncomfortable, for different reasons. “…attention, drugs, love.”

“Well, that explains the puppy lovers that Cupid shot up.”

“Right. The cherub made them crave love, and then famine came and made them rabid for it.”

“Okay, but what about you?” Dean frowned, looking at his husband with worry. “Since when do angels secretly crave White Castle?”

Cass looked guiltily down at the burger bag. “I…It’s my vessel, Jimmy. His appetite for red meat had been touched by famines effect.”

“So Famine just rolls…..Wait, I thought you said that…” he locked eyes with Cass. “You said Jimmy wasn’t in there with you any more?”

Cass’s head snapped around to stare at his husband with wide eyes. “Huh?”

“You lied to me?” Dean snapped.

Cass paled.

“Huh, Dean….can we deal with this right now?”

Dean was still glaring at the Cass. “So that’s what with the human soul?” he asked through gritted teeth.

Cass glanced from Dean to Sam. “ _And then will come Famine, riding on a black steed. He will ride into the land of plenty and great will be the houseman’s hunger for he is hunger. His hunger will seep out and poison the air._ Famine is hunger.He must devour the souls of his victims.”

Dean clenched his jaw. “So that’s that what was in the briefcase, the Twinkie dude’s soul.”

“Lucifer has sent his demons to care for Famine.” Cass murmured, lowering himself down on the end of Dean’s bed. “To feed him. Make certain he’ll be ready.”

“Ready for what?” Sam frowned.

“To march across the land.” Cass met the younger man’s concerned gaze.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

The room fell silent, a heavy tension falling over them.

“Huh…well, I….need to….pee.” Sam murmured, escaping to the bathroom. Leaving his brother and Cass alone.

“So….” Dean sighed, pacing the room. “Jimmy is still in there?” his tone was cold and flat.

“It’s complicated Dean.” Cass defended, staring at his burger. “He can’t see or feel anything.”

“Huh.” Dean huffed. “Clearly.” he spat.

“This isn’t….Dean, Jimmy’s protect from what I do. He has no knowledge of it. You know what. He remembered of his time as my vessel when you spoke to him.”

Dean paced the room, dragging his fingers through his hair. “But he’s still in there Cass. - And you _lied_ to me!”

“Because I knew how you’d behave. I knew you’d….freak out!” Cass defended.

“Because we’re using some other guys body to….Jesus Cass, don’t you see why this is bad?”

“Dean, Jimmy gave over his body to me, what I choose to do with it is no longer his concern.”

Dean growled and turned away from the angel. “It’s his body!”

“What would you have me do Dean?” Cass asked. “Changing my vessel will not change a thing. You just have to trust me that Jimmy is unaware of what we _do_.”

Dean turned to look at the other man, his eyes burning into them. He really had no answer. Cass was right. Its just hard of him to deal with it. It gave his a dirty unclean feeling. “Can’t you…” he sighed, rubbing his face. “Ruby…” he whispered.

“Dean.” Cass sighed, getting to his feet. “Demons can take any body they desire, we need the vessel to be given over to us.”

Dean shook his head. “If you ask me, it’s a stupid rule.”

Cass raised a brow. “It’s that stupid rule, Dean that is stopping Michael and Lucifer from just _taking_ you and Sam.”

Dean met his husband’s eyes, staring deep into the deep blue orbs. “Okay.” he nodded.

Cass inhaled slowly, turning to retake his seat on the end of the bed. His attention being pulled back to the burger. Dean watching him.

“So.” Dean sighed, deciding to get back on point. “Famine?”

Cass to a large bite out of his burger, nodding. “Yes.”

“So this whole town is just gonna eat, drink and screw itself to death?” Sam suddenly called from the bathroom.

“We should stop it.” Cass grumbled around his burger once more.

“Hey, that’s a great idea. How?” Dean scoffed.

“How’d you stop the last Horseman you met?”

Dean’s brows drew together as he marched towards his jacket. “War got his mojo from this ring?” he said, pulling it out of his pocket. “After we cut it off, he just tucked tail and ran. - Everyone affected there, it was like they woke up out of a dream. You think Famine’s got a class ring too?”

“I know he does.” Cass nodded.

“Okay, lets track him down and get to chopping.” Dean stared at Cass, as he looking longingly into his White Castle bag. “Cass?” he clicked his fingers. “Focus man. What are you the Hamburglar?”

Cass looked at Dean with a confused frown. “Huh? I’ve developed a taste for ground beef.” he replied matter-of-factly.

“Have you even tried to stop?”

“I’m an angel. I can stop anytime I want.” stated Cass defensively.

“Sure.” Dean shook his head. “Sammy! Let’s roll.”

“Dean….” Sam stumbled out of the bathroom, his face flushed and damp. “I….I can’t. I can’t go. I think it got me, Dean.” he looked at his brother meaningfully.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean sat behind the wheel of the Impala staring at the hospital. He’d rather just get the hell out of town. He’d argued the point with Cass before leaving Sam handcuffed to the bathroom sink. But the angel had pointed out that now he was infected he’d just take the infection with him. Their only hope was to stop Famine. Which was why he was sat out side the Medical Clinic, waiting for a demon to come and claim Dr. Corman’s soul.

He turned sharply at the feel of Cass hand on his thigh. “Cass?”

The angel shifted closer across the seat to press himself against Dean. “Dean.” he whispered, his hand sliding further up the hunter’s leg, his lips brushing his ear.

“Cass?” Dean moaned, his fingers tightening around Cass’s wrist, stopping his progress. “Cass, this isn’t you, okay. It’s the effects of….”

Cass pressed his lips to Dean’s throat, sucking hard. Dean’s eyes drifted closed with a harsh intake of breath.

“Cass, you not being fair, man. - Can‘t you just….” his breath caught. “…get a burger.”

The angel pulled away to stare at him.

“Cass, we’re working here. - Geez, don’t look at me like that.” Dean moaned as the angel continued to stare at him.

“I don’t understand Dean.”

“I just told you Cass, we’re….”

“Where is your hunger?” Cass suddenly asked.

“Huh?”

“Slowly but surely, everyone in this town is falling prey to Famine. But so far, you seem unaffected.”

Dean frowned, shrugging. “When I want a drink, I drink. When I want sex, I have sex.” he smirked at the angel. “Same does for a sandwich or a fight.”

“So you’re saying you’re just well-adjusted?”

“God, no. I’m just well-fed.”

Cass watched him for a few more moments. “There.” he nodded towards the hospital.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

_That’s one deep, dark nothing you’ve got there, Dean. Can’t fill it, can you? Not with food, or drink. Not even with him. - Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to your angel, even lie to yourself but you can’t lie to me. I can see inside you Dean. I can see how broken you are. How defeated. You can’t win and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just keep going through the motion. Your not hungry Dean. - Because inside you’re already dead._

Dean inhaled sharply, squeezing his eyes closed as Famine’s words screamed through his head, as loud as Sam’s screams through the heavy iron door he’d run away from. He tried to force more air into his lungs and found it hurt. Tear pooling in his eyes.

Looking up at the night sky in stared at the stars, his lips pressed into a thin line as his head spun. “Please.” he choked out. “I can’t….” he closed his eyes for a second, his heart pounding. When he opened them once more he swallowed the lump in his throat. “I need some help. Please.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that wasn’t too bad, I’ll really try not to break my promise about the following chapters. 
> 
> And if I'm unable to post before Christmas, HAPPY HOLIDAY'S EVERYONE


	16. Help You Through The Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn’t kept my new years resolution and post sooner. But here it is. Warning: There will undoubtedly be grammar and spelling mistakes. 
> 
> This chapter begins in the wake of Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid and cover the episodes Dark Side of The Moon and 99 Problems. I tried to avoid going into detail about the actual episodes, as their not all that difference. At least Dead Men and Dark Side of the Moon. 99 Problems is a little of canon because Pastor Gideon has already met the boys when he married Dean and Cass. (The false prophet part is still the basic plot)
> 
> Chapter Title: Taken from the musical Jersey Boys. - Who Loves You?

It was surprisingly easy to settle back into the route. Dean and Sam worked their way across the country. Cass hit the trail looking for his father. Bobby stayed at the yard playing doting grandfather. Sam insisted on getting his own room when they stay at motels because he was fed up of crashing in the backseat of the Impala when Cass dropped by for a conjugal. Everything was running along smoothly despite the dark shadow that hung over them all.

Of course that’s precisely when it hit the fan. It started with Bobby being visited by his dead wife. Well, actually the entire town of Sioux Falls were housing reanimated loved once, but well, considering Bobby was caring for Jamie, Bobby’s wife was the only zombie he really cared about.

That hadn’t ended well. At least for Bobby. Not to mention his relationship with Dean. There was a tension for a while after that, which was probably why Dean took a break away. Just a weekend. Him, Jamie, Cass and. Sam joked about it being a family vacation, except they were still working.

Cass was sat on the floor with a squirming, giggling Jamie playing aimlessly, relaxing for the first time in weeks. He still hadn’t found his father and if he was honest it was testing his faith, but he clung on. He smiled down as Jamie gurgled enthusiastically over a floating teddy with angel wings that Dean had brought her, joking that it had reminded him of Cass.

Dean and Sam had left two hours ago on a vampire hint, a nice normal old fashioned case. Dean had said. Cass knew he was just truing to distract himself from the growing threat of Lucifer and the horseman. Ever since the incident with Bobby’s wife being a zombie, Dean had been on a mission to avoid the whole problem. As if it would just go away.

It wouldn’t though. Not until God stepped in, or his brothers found a way to get what they wanted. But Cass had come to appreciate Dean’s way of dealing with things, and he had to admit, it was good to pretend for a while.

Cass got to his feet swiftly and walked lightly over to the small kitchenette to finish preparing Jamie’s bottle. The teddy still floating above the little girl. As Cass poured the boiling water into the bottle. - He liked the physicality of the task. - He tugged at the neck of the pale grey t-shirt he was wearing. Dean had insisted that when they were together and Cass was taking a break from his holy mission, that he dressed down. Apparently as attractive as he looked in his suit, it was beginning to get rip and boring. Cass had to say his new clothes certainly seemed to provoke a positive response in Dean. To which Cass had no complaints.

Along with all the other things they were pretended didn’t existed when they were together, was the threat of Michael’s retribution. Well Cass pretended to have forgotten it. Though his brother’s words haunted him hourly.

Unlike Lucifer, Michael hadn’t tried to win Cass over. He hadn’t offered promise of happy ever after with Dean and Jamie. No he’d looked Cass dead in the eye and told him that when he was finished with Lucifer, her was going to show Cass just what it meant to betray him and taint his pure existence with sinful human emotions. Cass hadn’t doubted him for a second. The look of pure disgust and hatred had stained his face and hovered over every peaceful moment Cass shared with his little family.

Was it any wonder Cass had intensified his search after that. His only hope was finding his father. Hoping he’d understand. After all he’d created him, and Dean. And Cass knew everyone was destin for someone.

The angel startled as the hotel room door swung open almost violently, Dean marching in cursing loudly, covered in blood. Jamie rolled onto her stomach at the sound of her father, pushing herself up to watch him march into the bathroom, yanking off his leather jacket. The angel bear dropping to the floor behind the staring baby. Sam followed Dean in a second later, a tired smile on his face, and little else. Clearly he hadn’t met with the same fate as his brother. Cass watched his brother-in0law crouch down in front of Jamie, lifting her as she held out her arms to him. Whispering to her about how Dean should learn not to cut off a vampire’s head only moments after it feed. Laughing softly.

Cass glanced at the door when he heard Dean return, damp faced and bare cheated. The angel swallowed the lump that instantly filled his throat. As it always did when Dean was stripped. He doubted Dean could read minds but the look he shot him from the bathroom boor seemed to indicate he knew exactly where Cass’ thoughts were, and the smirk said he was along for the ride. Cass inhaled slowly as his husband made his way towards him, intent in his hazel green eyes.

“I was just about to give Jamie her dinner.” Cass said; his eyes still fixed on Dean.

Dean tugged the bottle out of the angel’s fingers. “Hey, Sammy, make yourself useful!” he called. Twisting his body to throw the warm bottle to his brother, who caught it without even thinking. Turning once again he closed the gap between him and Cass, slipping his hand around the angel’s neck and pulling him into a languid kiss.

“Come on guys.” Sam groaned. Shifting Jamie in his arms and pressing the bottle to her lips. Her small podgy hands gripping at its warm sides. “Not in front of the baby.”

Dean chuckled, breaking the kiss to shot his brother a scolding look. Jamie’s fine. She’s far more interesting in what in her mouth than what’s in mine.”

“Awe.” Sam wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“Besides it never bothered her before Sammy, and she’s been in a room with us for months.”

“God Dean.” Sam huffed, shaking his head and getting to his feet.

“Funny. That’s what Cass said this morning.” Dean smirked, winking at Cass dramatically.

“Okay, that’s it. I’m leaving.” Sam marched over. Thrusting his niece into his brother’s arms. “Sorry Jamie, I can’t deal with this…” he pressed at kiss to the little girl’s forehead and then turned to rush to the good. Throwing a “Goodnight.” over his shoulder.

With Sam gone, Dean relaxed further. Walking with Jamie over to the small ratty grey couch pressed against the far wall, settling back against the stained cushions with his little girl in the crook of his arm. Staring down at her with warm loving eyes that had Cass’s heart clenching tight in his chest.

Cass watched him for across the room for a few moments before he moved to tidy up the rug and toys from the floor. The room was filled with a silence that felt warm and comfortable. The only noise that of their breathing and Jamie suckling on her bottle. With the room back to presentable, Cass turned and walked over to join, leaning back to watch dean feed his daughter.

When she was finished, Dean got to his feet, shifting Jamie onto his shoulder as he paced the room, rubbing at her back.

“Are you alright Dean?” Cass asked with a soft frown.

“Fine.”

Cass watched him intently until Dean sighed and relented.

“Sam was bugging me about calling Bobby. Mending fences.”

“He right.”

Dean huffed, turning his back on the angel. “I know. - I just….” he shook his head. “We did that to him.” the hunter murmured after a few moments. “We brought that shit to his door. Maybe he doesn’t want to see us again.”

“Bobby knows what’s he fighting Dean. He knows why Lucifer sent Death there. - He understands.”

Dean shook his head some more, carrying Jamie towards her small travel crib in the corner of the room. “Maybe it’ll be easier if….”

“Don’t!” Cass snapped. “Don’t even think it Dean.”

Dean turned slowly, meeting his husband’s dull blue eyes. They’d been so bright one. “We’re running out of time and options Cass.”

“We’ve still got one chance Dean. When I find….”

“Right. God. - Cass it’s been months and you haven’t found anything. I don’t think….”

Cass leaped out of his seat. “He’s out there. He’ll help. - I just….have to find him.” he insisted desperately.

Dean sighed, turning back to settle Jamie into her crib. When he turned he fixed Cass with a wearily look. “Okay, Cass.” he nodded, stepping closer.

The angel looked up at him pleadingly. “You have to trust me Dean. He’ll help.”

Instead of replying, Dean wrapped his fingers into the front of Cass tee and dragged him into an embrace. His free hand brushing at the angel rough jaw, lifting it to press their lips together.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Seeing that trust and hope die in Cass almost killed Dean three weeks later. It had ripped his heart out watching the man he loved lose everything. Cass’s faith had always been so strong. So unwavering and now it was shattered to pieces. Dean decided as he stared down at the pendant that had suddenly come to symbolise so much, that if he ever actually met God, he was probably going to punch him.

The worst part was he could sympathize. A little. He’d put his own father up on a pedestal since he was old enough to talk and it hadn’t been easy realizing that his father wasn’t the man he’d thought he was. That he had his faults and had messed up his and Sam’s lives in a thousand different ways. But he couldn’t imagine his father turning his back on them so completely.

He let the pendant slip from his fingers into the trashcan, and yanked open the motel room door. - He and Sam had been sharing. - Outside there was no sign of Cass, which he understood. The guy probably needed time to process. Tossing his bag in the back of the back, he slipped behind the wheel and tugged out his phone. Shooting off a text.

 

**Message: Castiel**

**We’re heading to Bobby’s.**

**Come home when you’re ready.**

 

Sam appeared a few minutes later, his head bowed, looking as pissed and worn as Dean felt. He threw his back over his seat before climbing in. “Cass?”

Dean shook his head as he started the Impala, and pulled slowly away from the motel they’d woken up bloody in an hour ago.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

“He wasn’t kidding.” Dean grumbled as he took a sharp turn onto the highway.

Forty-eight hours ago they’d gotten a call from Pastor David Gideon asking for their help. His town was being surrounded by demon. Dean hadn’t hesitated, despite his concern over not seeing Cass in almost a week. They owed Gideon.

The Impala speed away from the ambush a mile from their destination. Sam clinging to his injured shoulder. The demons it seemed were ready for them, setting up a flaming road block. Dean hit the breaks, swearing loudly as he moved to swing the large vehicle around, but he was too late, they were there. Hands reaching through the Impala windows to grab as him and Sam. Trying to drag them out.

Then it was over. The demons letting out high pitched screams that were all too familiar. Dean’s head snapped around to see them being doused in holy water. A man on top of a fire truck speaking throw a bullhorn. Moments later the demons were being dragged from their victims bodies. Swirling into the ether in a cloud of thick black smoke.

“Well that’s something you don’t see everyday.” Dean panted, shoving open his door. Sam following suit.

“You two alright?” The guy with the bullhorn asked, approaching cautiously.

“Peachy.”

“Sam and Dean Winchester?”

The brother looked at each other nervously. “Yeah.” Dean finally replied.

“Pastor Gideon sent us to meet you. I’m Rob.”

The pair instantly relaxed. “How did you know where we’d be?”

“The Pastor will explain everything. Follow us back.” the rough looking man said, turning to head back to the fire truck.

“Do we trust this guy?” Sam whispered as they climbed back into the Impala.

“I don’t know. Yet. - Let’s see what Pastor Dave has to say.”

They followed the truck back to a small town. The brothers frowning as they passed houses.

“Those are Enochian sigils. Demon warding. How do they know this stuff?” Sam frowned.

“I guess we’re about to find out.” Dean murmured as they pulled up outside a church.

Claiming out of the car the pair grabbed their jackets. Their gazes scanning their surroundings. There were men with shot guns guarding the building and a simple devils trap sprayed in red on the ground at the entrance of the church. Dean and Sam stepped over it as they made their way into the church.

“Who would have thought the apocalypse could be so romantic.” Pastor Gideon said from the front. The place was filled and it looked like a wedding was taking place.

Dean’s stomach tightened and his fingers instinctively went to his wedding band. He really wished Cass would answer his calls, or better yet show the hell up. It was killing him not knowing where his husband had vanished off to. He stood silently listening to Pastor Gideon, remember how only a few months ago the man had preformed the same rite for him and Cass. It had seemed so much longer. Dean hadn’t expected it to be all sunflowers and rainbows but hell he’d figured they get at least a good couple of years under their belts before it all turned to shit. Wishful thinking in their world obviously.

They stepped aside as the new bride and groom turned to leave, followed by everyone else. Pastor Gideon the last in the parade of bodies. His face breaking into a world worn smile at the sight of the Winchesters.

“Sam. Dean.” he nodded to each of them. “How have you been?”

“Good.” they replied at the same moment.

“Well, as good as can be expected, considering.” Sam clarified with a shrug and a wince.

“You’re injured.” Gideon frowned.

“It’s nothing. Occupational hazard. Which leads me to….” he waved a hand around him. “This?”

Gideon smiled warmly at the pair. “Follow me gentleman.” he nodded towards the back of the church.

Gideon led them through the church and down into the basement, pushing open a set of door to reveal a workshop. People preparing salt rounds and holy water.

“Is that a twelve year old packing salt rounds?” Dean frowned.

“Everybody pitches in.” Gideon remarked with a sad smile.

“So the whole church?” Sam asked.

“The whole town.”

“A whole town full of hunters? I don’t know whether to run screaming or by a condo.” Dean joked blandly, his gaze once more scanning the room.

“Well demons were killing us. We had to do something.” Gideon replied in a low voice.

“So why it take you so long to call?” Dean frowned at the older man. “You know we would have come.”

“I figured you had enough on your plates.” he smiled. “Besides we have our own weapon against the demons.”

“You do?” the brother once more replied in perfect sync.

Gideon rolled his shoulders nervously.

“Come on, padre. You’re as locked and loaded as we’ve ever seen and that exorcism was Enochian. So someone is telling you something and it sure as hell isn‘t us. So spill?”

Gideon inhaled slowly. “I…” he shook his head.

“So why call us here if you….”

“Dad?” Suddenly a young woman appeared behind the older man, her hand resting lovingly on his shoulder.

“Leah.”

“its okay.” the blonde smiled. “It’s Sam and Dean Winchester. I know who they are. It’s only fair you tell them who I am.”

Gideon swallowed hard. “Boys, this is my daughter, Leah.” he introduced stiffly.

“You told her about us?” Dean asked. Almost accusingly.

Gideon shook his head.

“My father said nothing.”

“Then how do you….?”

“From the angels.”

Dean stiffen. Staring at her intensely. “Angels. Awesome.” he swore.

“Don’t worry. They can’t see you here.” Leah smiled. She glanced around, looked over her shoulder. “Where is Castiel?”

 _Good question._ Dean thought. “He’s busy. Theirs an apocalypse going on if you hadn’t seen.” he knew he was being harsh and rude, but well raw nerve.

Leah smiled apologetically. “Right. Sorry.”

“So you know all about us because angels told you?” Sam asked quickly.

“Yes. Among other things.”

“Like the snappy little exorcism spell?” Dean snipped.

“And they show me where the demons are gonna be before it happens. How to fight back.”

“She’s never been wrong. Not once.” Gideon added.

“And let me guess. Before you see something you get a real bad migraine, you see flashing lights?”

“How’d you know?”

“You’re not the first prophet we’ve met. But you are the cutest. - I mean that with total respect, of course. I’m a married man.” he waved his hand at the pair. “Happily married man.” though he new his voice didn’t exactly paint that picture. And Gideon seemed to pick up on it, his eyes narrowing at Dean questioningly. “So. What do you need us for? You seem to have everything running smoothly.”

“I thought you might want to know that we’re here. If you need us.”

Dean frowned. Something in the man’s tone and demeanour said that wasn’t why they’d been called. “Right. Well….I guess…if you’re alright with it, we’ll hang around for a few days. We could use some down time.”

“Of course.” Leah answered before her father. “We could probably learn a lot from men of your experience.”

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

“Okay that was weird right. Pastor Dave?” Dean asked the moment they escaped the church.

“Yeah. He seemed….nervous.”

“Exactly.” Dean looked around at the guards. “Something feels off here. - And a prophet?”

“Maybe you should call Cass.” Sam pressed, allowing his brother to lead him towards the nearest bar.

“Yeah.” Dean scoffed. “Like I haven’t spent the last week trying to get the dick to talk to me. - You call him. He’ll probably answer your damn call before mine.” he snapped angrily, marching into the bar.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

“I wish I knew what to say. But I don’t. I’m so sorry Jane. Rob. There are no words. Dylan. I don’t know why this happened. I don’t know why any of this is happening.” Gideon said brokenly, his gaze flickering to his daughter for a long moment. “I got no easy answers. But what I do know is….Leah?”

Dean and Sam raced up the central aisle as the pastor dropped down next to his daughter. Watching as the young woman convulsed. Trembling. Gasping for breath.

“Leah? Honey?”

“Dad, its Dylan.”

“No. Just rest a minute.”

“No. Listen….Dylan’s coming back.”

Gideon’s gaze shot to Sam and Dean, before landing on the grieving parents.

Leah struggled to her feet, her father’s hand on her elbow. Turning to the congregation she inhaled slowly. “Jane. Rob. It’s going to be okay. You’ll see Dylan again. When the final day comes. Judgement day. He’ll be resurrected and you’ll be together again. We’ll all be together with all our loved ones. We’ve been chosen. The angels have chosen us and we will be given paradise on Earth. All we have to do is follow the angel’s commandments.”

Dean looked from Leah to Sam, before pushing himself out of the pew as the young woman began to announce what they were meant to do. His gut tight. This wasn’t right. He felt it. Where the hell was Cas. Outside he pulled out his phone.

“You have reached the voicemail of….”

“I don’t understand. Why do you want me to say my name.”

Dean’s chest tightened at the sound of Cass’s distorted voice. “Dammit Cass. I’ve had enough of this shit. I get it okay. You father let you down, but you know what your letting me down right now because we need you. _I_ need you. So answer your damn phone! Or better yet get your ass to Blue Earth.” he snapped furiously. Hitting at the button to end the call. Glancing around he inhaled slowly.

“You look like you could use a drink.”

Dean turned to meet Paul’s equally wary face. “Yeah.”

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Sam stared down at the book. He hated this. Being cut off from the world. How was he meant to research when he had no internet and now way to call Bobby or Cass. Not that Cass was listening. This whole situation was insane. Out of control and from the look on Pastor Gideon’s face when his daughter passed down the angels commandments he knew it too.

Snapping the book close angrily, he dropped in on the bed, glancing at his watch. Turning to head for the door, planning on dragging Dean out of the bar if necessary, he jumped out of his skin as Cass appeared out of thin air, leaning heavily against the partition.

“I got your message.” Cass murmured. His voice slightly slurred.

Sam released a sigh of relief. “Cass.”

“It was long, you message. And I find the sound of your voice grating.”

Sam frowned. “Cass? What‘s wrong with you? Are you….drunk?”

“No! - Yes.”

“What the hell happened to you?” Sam watched his brother-in-law closely as the angel staggered closer.

“I found a liquor store.”

“And?”

“And I drank it! Why’d you call me?” he dropped down on the end of the nearest bed. “Where’s Dean?”

“Out. Probably getting drunk too. - Are you okay?”

Cass wiggled a finger for Sam to lean close. “Don’t ask stupid questions.”

Sam winced at the smell of alcohol on the angel’s breath.

“Just tell me what you need.”

“There have been these demon attacks…..”

“So what’s new.” Cass shrugged. Turning his head to stare at the other bed longingly.

“Massive. On the edge of town. We can’t figure out why?”

“Any sign of angels?” Cass asked automatically.

“Sort of. They’ve been speaking to this prophet.”

“Who?”

“Leah. Pastor Gideon’s daughter.”

Cass’ brows drew together in confusion.

“You know, Pastor Gideon. The man who married you and Dean.”

“I know who Pastor Gideon is. His daughter isn’t a prophet.”

“I’m pretty sure she is. The visions, headaches, the whole pack….”

Cass tore his gaze from the bed to stare up at Sam, insulted. “The names of _all_ the prophets, they’re seared into my brain. Leah Gideon is not one of them.” he glared.

“Then what is she?”

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean was heading back from the bar when the noise of raised voices caught his attention. Turning back the way he came he stepped back into the bar to see Gideon trying to break-up a dispute.

“Just take a breath. Both of you.” Gideon insisted, trying to pull them men apart.

“I’m sorry, Paul. There’s no other way!”

“What’ s going on!” Dean yelled over the noise. “Need a hand padre?”

“Just everybody cool down for a minute.”

“Cool down? My friends are trying to run me out of town and you want me to cool down?”

“I’m sorry, Paul, it’s not our choice.”

Dean watched, his heart pounding. This wasn’t going to end well. He could already see it. Stiffening his stance he prepared for a fight. Catching Gideon’s pleading look as he stood between the two friends. Fear in the older man’s eyes.

“You want me out of here? You have to drag me out.”

Dean grabbed hold of Rob’s arm the second he moved to do just that. “Whoa, you don’t wanna do this.”

“Get out of my way.” Rob shoved.

Dean swung quick and sure. Knocking the other man to his ass against the bar, before lifting him to his feet.

“No. No. No. Come on. Everyone stop.” Gideon said from the other side of the room as he tried to push back the others.

The sound of the gunshot was so sudden it actually made Dean jump. His head snapping around to stare wide eyed at Rob’s wife as she aimed a smoking gun across the room. Following her aim, Dean’s eyes widened at the sight of Paul bleeding out on the floor.

“Oh my god.” Gideon gasped, dropping down beside the dying man.

Dean ran to join the pastor, his fingers pressing to the man’s neck. He shook his head. He glanced over his shoulder at the cold expression on Jane’s face. No guilt. No sorrow. Just plain determination. A cold chill ran down his spine. “What the hell’s going on here Padre?”

Gideon looked guiltily across at him before inhaling and getting to his feet. “Rob, take Jane home.” he ordered firmly. “The rest of you too. Go.” he watched them all pile out of the bar, murmuring between themselves.

“Padre?”

Gideon shook his head, staring sadly down at the dead man. “This wasn’t….I didn’t….I tried to….” he cleared his throat. “We need to talk Dean. - But first can you help me.”

Dean nodded, gripping Paul by the arms as Gideon grabbed his feet, lifting him off the floor and carrying him over to the pool table.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean walked into the motel room with Pastor Gideon and froze at the sight of Cass on the couch with Sam. Leant over a large book.

“Are you alright?” Sam said instantly, his eyes focused on Dean’s hands.

“Yeah. It’s not my blood. Paul‘s dead.” Dean replied.

“What?” Sam gasped, looking from Dean to Pastor Gideon who dropped into the nearest chair, his head in his hands. Trembling.

“Jane shot him.” Dean clarified.

“It’s starting.” Cass sighed, his head lulling to the side.

“What’s starting? _Where the hell_ have you been?”

Cass turned angry, blood shot eyes on his husband. “On a bender!”

Dean frowned, looking between Cass and Sam. “Did he say….? You say on a bender?”

“Yeah. He’s still pretty smashed.” Sam shrugged.

“Wait. I’ve been worried sick while you’ve been out getting drunk!”

“It is not of import!” Cass insisted. “We need to talk about what’s happening here.”

Dean glared at the angel for a long moment, his jaw tense. He turned sharply, marching over to the sink to wash the blood off his hands.

“What is happening?” Pastor Gideon asked quietly.

“For starters….” Sam said cautiously, retaking his seat. “Leah’s not a real prophet.”

“What?” Dean turned back to stare at them in surprise, while Gideon dropped his head into his hands once more with a moan.

“Well, what is she exactly?”

“The whore.” Cass replied matter-of-factly.

“Wow, Cass, tell us what you really think.”

Gideon’s head shot up to glare furiously at the angel.

“He doesn’t me….” Sam rushed to clarify.

“She rises when Lucifer walks the Earth. _And she shell come bearing false prophecy._ This creature has the power to take a human’s form, read minds….”

“So she’s not my daughter?”

“The Book of Revelation calls her the Whore of Babylon.”

“That’s catchy.”

“Leah was probably killed months ago. I’m sorry Pastor.”

Gideon sucked in a pained breath. His hands rubbing at his eyes.

“What about the demons?” Dean pressed.

“They’re under her control.” Cass replied.

“And the Enochian exorcism?”

“Fake. It actual means _You breed with the mouth of a goat_.” Cass chuckled. Dean and Sam stared at Cas, confused. “It’s funnier in Enochian.”

“Whatever. You know we would have found this out before two innocent guys was kill if you’d answered our damn calls straight away!” Dean snapped furiously.

Cass tried to stare his husband down but found the guilt to much, dropping his gaze. “Her goal is to condemn as many souls to hell as possible.”

“Awesome. How do we kill her?”

“Kill her?” Pastor Gideon gasped.

“She’s not your daughter, father.” Sam reminded. “She’s using you, and manipulating the people of this town.”

“She’s well on her way to dragging this whole town into the pit.” Cass insisted, looking at the man.

Dean blinked as Cass vanished. “Great. Did you forget something!” he yelled at the ceiling.

“The Whore can be killed with that.” Cass announced a few seconds later as he reappeared next to Dean, a large wooden stake in his hands. “It’s a stake made from a cypress tree in Babylon.”

“Great. Let’s ventilate her.” Dean said, taking the stake. Wincing at the broken look Gideon sent his way. “Sorry.”

“It’s not that easy.” Cass shouldered Dean out of the way to pour himself a glass of water. “The Whore can only be killed by a true servant of heaven.”

“A servant like…?”

“Not you.” Cass replied. “Or me. Sam of course is an abomination,”

“Hey.”

“Which leaves….” he turned to look meaningfully at Pastor Gideon.

“Me? No. I can’t.” the older man shook his head. “She’s my daughter.”

“No. She’s not.” Sam insisted gently.

“Look Padre, you know something was wrong here, or you wouldn’t have called us. Well this is it and now you….”

“I can’t….” He leapt out of his chair, marching to the door. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

They watched the older man vanish. Dean inhaling deeply as he walked over to join Sam on the couch. “Now what?”

Cass shrugged.

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Cass sat on the bench outside the motel room, his head in his hands. Trying to regain his balance and stop the pounding in his head. He heard the motel room door open and close but didn’t look up, he didn’t have to.

“Here.” Dean said.

Cass lifted his eyes enough to see the small bottle of pills and the glass of water. “How many should I take?” he asked softly.

“You?” Dean scoffed, leaning into the side of the Impala a few feet away. “All of them.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Cass finally looked up to meet Dean’s angry and hurt hazel eyes, and he felt his stomach roll. “I….I’m sorry.”

“For what? Disappearing? Not calling to let me know you’re alive?” Dean scoffed, his anger deflating at the sight of Cass’ guilt. “Look, I’ve been there. I’m the expert on deadbeat dads. - But you don’t just split on your family Cass. And we’re you family. Me, Sam, Bobby and Jamie. We’re here.”

Cass swallowed. “I know. I just….I really thought he was going to help. I believed in him. Now….” he sucked in a pained breath. “We don’t have a change Dean.” he looked up, eyes wide and wet. “We can’t win this and Michael…..he’s going to make us pay for disobeying him. Make me pay.”

Dean stepped forward quickly, dropping into a low crouch in front of the man. His hands instinctively capturing his face. “Cass. I won’t let that happen. I won’t.”

“You can’t stop him Dean. He’s not going to just let us…be.”

Dean pressed his forehead to the angel’s. Inhaling slowly, his eyes closed. “I won’t let it happen. I swear.” he sealed the promise with a soft chaste kiss against the angel’s chapped, dry lips. “Just don’t vanish on me again, okay. I can’t take that.”

“Uh…Dean.” Sam cleared his throat from the door. “We’re ready.”

Dean pulled back, looking into the dull blue eyes of his husband before nodding and getting back to his feet. “Lets kill a Whore.”

~Beware Promises of Always~

 

“Cass? Cass?” Dean asked rushing over as Leah escaped.

“Don’t let her get away.” Cass groaned.

Dean nodded, reluctantly leaving the angel’s side. Chasing after Sam and Gideon. He followed Sam into the chaos half a second later. Throwing punches as he was rushed by two of the town’s people. He wasn’t aware of anything much but getting to the Whore. He didn’t need to watch Sam’s back, these weren’t demon, just brainwashed humans. He’d knocked out two men when the Whore knocked him to the ground, flipping him over, straddling his hip as she pressed her hands into his throat, trying to strangle him. Fighting the hold Dean stretched out his arm, fingers wiggling to get to the stake.

“Please. Like you’re a servant of heaven. You’ve corrupted an angel. Tainted him with sin.” the Whore scoffed, rolling her eyes. “And that’s why my teams going to win. You’re the great vessel? You’re pathetic, self-hating and faithless. It’s the end of the world and you’re just gonna sit back and watch it happen with your polluted angelic lover.”

Dean swung his fist, connecting with the young woman’s face, knocking her off balance long enough to reach for the stake and thrust it into her chest. “Don’t be so sure. Whore.” he grunted, pushing the stake further until she toppled to the side and off him. He stood back as her body confused, thick black smoke slowly seeping into the air, before it was engulfed in flame. He turned to find Sam staring at him, eyes wide and knowing.

“But I don’t understand. How are we supposed to get to paradise?” Jane said. Shocked beside him.

“I’m sorry. Pretty sure you’re heading in a different direction.” with that he turned on his heels, racing back to find Cass still curled up on the floor of Pastor Gideon’s study. “Cass? Hey. Cass?”

“The Whore?”

“Dead.” he said, slipping an arm beneath the angel, lifting him to his feet. “Lets get you out of here.”

As he led Cass out of the study he found Sam waiting with an injured Pastor Gideon. Hurrying past his brother he half carried Cass out of the building.

“Dean. How did you do that?” Sam demanded nervously.

“Do what?” Cass moaned brokenly.

“Kill her?”

Cass’ head shot around with a wince. “You killed her?”

“My long run of luck held out, I guess.”

“Dean….” Cass murmured.

“Last I checked, she could only be ganked by a servant of heaven.” Sam interrupted.

“Well, what do you want me to tell you? I saw a shot, I went for it.” he yanked open the Impala’s back door, Lowering Cass into it.

The angel stared at him knowingly. “Dean.” he shook his head.

Dean swallowed hard, closing the door.

“Are you going to do something stupid?” Sam demanded over the roof of the car.

“Like what?”

“Like Michael stupid.”

“Come on Sam, give me a break.” Dean snapped. Pulling open the driver door with a scrap of metal on metal.


	17. Won't Let Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its taken me so long to post, I’ve been busy with life and kinda suffering for a headache of writers block. There isn’t much more to this fic, maybe one or two chapters.
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter title taken from the Papa Roach song.

It was late. They’d been home hours, and in that time Dean had barely said a couple of words to anyone. What had happened in Blue Earth, Minnesota had shaken everyone but especially Dean. Cass could feel it and it was making him more uneasy by the second.

The pressed his bare back against the headboard and watched as Dean paced the dark room with Jamie. The little girl was already fast asleep but Dean seemed either unaware or unwilling to relinquish his daughter.

“Dean?” Cass murmured cautiously.

“Hmm?” the hunter continued to pace, not as much as glancing in Cass’ direction.

“You can’t do it.” Cass announced firmly. “You….I won’t let you.”

Dean stopped, turning slowly to meet his husband’s gaze. “Excuse me?”

“You’re thinking of saying yes. I know you are Dean and I won’t let you. - And don’t try to avoid this conversation.” Cass watched as his husband’s shoulders slumped forward and he returned to his aimless pacing.

“It’s the only way Cass, to keep everyone save.”

Cass threw back the covers and swung his legs off the bed, perching on the edge. “I told you Dean, Michael….”

“I’ll make him promise. I won’t agree to anything unless he swears to keep _you_ and everyone safe.”

“He’s not a demon Dean.” Cass snapped harshly. “He’ll promise whatever he had to get you to agree, that doesn’t mean he’ll keep it. He wants my head Dean. He wants to make me suffer for keeping you from him. For protecting you and Sam. He’ll make his promise then kill me and make you watch. The only difference between Michael and Lucifer is that Lucifer is honest about his hatred for humanity.” he sighed. His voice breaking under the weight of his feel and anger.

Dean stood staring at him, brows tight together, chest heaving. “So what do we do Cass?” he asked pleadingly. Expecting his husband to have the answers.

Cass deflated. “I don’t know Dean. For now…as long as Michael doesn’t have a vessel we have time. We’ll find a way. You can’t give up Dean. We’ve come too far to give up now.”

Dean turned silently and lowered Jamie into her crib, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. When he straightened he walked across the room to stop in from of Cass. Positioning himself between the angel’s legs. His fingers reaching out to comb though his thick mass of hair. “Okay Cass.” he nodded; voice quiet and soft. “As long as you don’t vanish on me again. Okay.” he added firmly. “You wanna get drunk, we get drunk together. It’ll be more fun that way.” he murmured heatedly, leaning forward to press his lips to Castiel’s.

Cass opened his mouth instantly, his fingers crumpling the front of Dean’s t-shirt, pulling him closer until Cass was lying back on the bed, Dean pressed above him. Kissing passionately. Hands roaming over hot flesh. He pulled away breathlessly, his thighs anchored against Dean’s ribs. His fingers playing idly over the flushed curve of his husband’s neck. “I love you, Dean.” he whispered. Almost like a sacred prayer.

Dean widened the gap between them. Mouth kiss swollen and parted, eyes filled with surprise.

“I know you know.” Cass hurried to clarify. “I know you share my feelings. I….I just wanted to say it out loud. Just once.” his fingers trailed gently down Dean’s neck to brush lazily at his collarbone.

Dean surged forward, his mouth colliding with Cass’. His hands desperately clinging to his husband’s face, as he tried to convey everything in the kiss. Failing, he drew back to meet Cass’ bright blue eyes, bluer than they’d been in a long while. “I love you too Cass.” he replied quietly. His breath fanning the angel’s bruised lips before he closed the space between them once more.

The room felt like an inferno as desperate need engulfed the pair. The sound of their heavy breathing echoing off the thin walls. The muffled cry of the bedsprings like a choir beneath them. Castiel dragged at Dean’s shirt, tugging it almost violently from the man’s body. Dean’s hands pulling with reckless abandonment at the grey sweats hanging low on Cass’ hips. The angel lifted his body to free himself from the cloth confines and gasped with release and ecstasy as his solid heated length pressed against Dean’s blazing toned abdomen, sending sparks through them both.

Dean fumbled quickly and with little grace to remove his shorts, kicking them free of his legs with a satisfied hum of pleasure. Finally leaving nothing - Not even air. - between him and Castiel. He broke their desperate frantic kissing, gasping for oxygen.

Cass’ fingers carded through Dean’s rapidly dampening hair. His other hand curling over the raised flesh of his husband’s left shoulder. His fingers biting ever so slightly into the flesh, as if attempt to refresh the possessive brand he’d unintentionally left there over a year previously. Pulling him closer still.

Dean’s own hands found placed to rest. His left stroking affectionately at Cass’ rough jaw, while his right gripped tightly to the angel’s raised thigh, their hips canting together in prefect sync as they chased after their mutual climax.

“Dean.” Cass panted against the damp curve of his husband’s neck. “I…Dean please.”

“Cass?”

Unable to voice his desire through the frantic heat, Cass pulled his hand from Dean’s hair and skimmed it down Dean’s arm, wrapping his fingers around the man’s wrist. He tugged Dean’s hand from his thigh and guided it down, inhaling sharply as the rough callused fingertips brushed the firm globe of his ass-cheek.

That was all the direction Dean needed. He gave the orb a gentle squeeze before slipping his finger between the cleft of Cass’ ass, brushing and pressing at the tight ring of muscle. Dean teased for a few painfully long minuets before he reluctantly removed his hand and broke the flesh to flesh contact of their bodies.

Cass whimpered at the loss of Dean’s warmth. “Dean?”

“Shh.” Dean cooed, leaning forward to press a fierce open mouthed kiss to the angel’s lips, before pulling away further. The bed dipping and shifting with his movements.

Dean yanked open the nightstand drawer, his hand instantly finding the lube. Knocking the drawer closed, wincing at the too loud bang of wood. He quickly glanced over to check that it hadn’t woken Jamie. When she didn’t begin to wail, Dean turned his attention back to Cass. Stretching over his husband once more. Their mouths found each other on instinct. Cass’ hand cradling Dean’s head as his legs snaked once more around his lover’s waist.

Dean had the prep down to a fine art after months of marriage. Sometime it still amazed him how okay he was with this. Laughing to himself at the thought that if Sam had told him a year ago that he’d be in a gay relationship and actually enjoying gay sex, even as a bottom, he’d probably have punched his brother in the face. But it was true. He still sometimes wondered if he was actually bisexual or if - And he really believed it was the later. - it was just Cass.

He slicked his fingers and worked to loosen the stubborn muscle in a matter of moments. Cass’ moans encouraging him on with every sweep of his fingers.

“Dean.” Cass groaned; low and rough. “Please, Dean. I’m….ready.” he panted between words.

Knowing he couldn’t physically hurt Cass, no matter what he did, Dean took the angel at his word, removing his fingers and shifting his weight to slick himself thoroughly, before guiding himself home. Because as chick-flick as it was, that was what Cass was to him. Home. His sanctuary. The place he knew would always welcome him. Take him in, like he was now. Cass’ arms tightened around Dean’s shoulders, pulling them flush together. His mouth hot against his husband’s, as Dean set a fast yet comforting rhythm.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Cass never got tired of holding Jamie. Her warms and weight, a weird kind of anchor. He sat at the kitchen table, the little girl on his lap while he feed her a beige goop. Her small podgy hands leaving remains of the breakfast on his t-shirt. He turned his head slight at the sound of footsteps and smiled as Dean walked into the room with a spring in his step and a grin of his face that hadn’t been there in weeks.

Dean paused beside Cass, bowing to press a kiss to his daughter’s head before gifting his husband with a more heated lingering kiss. “Morning.” he announced around his grin. Straightened reluctantly, he headed over to the stove and the coffee pot.

“Someone’s in a better mood this morning.” Sam murmured from his seat opposite Cass and Jamie. His own coffee cradled between his hands and a book open in front of him.

“It’s amazing what a good night of hot and steamy Cass can do for a guy.” Dean chuckled proudly as Sam groaned with feign disgust and dropped his head onto the table top. Making Jamie giggle and spatter he breakfast over Cass’ hand.

“If you’re going start waxing poetic ‘bout ya damn sex life, you can get the hell out of my kitchen, Idjit.” Bobby grumbled as he rolled in from the study.

Dean laughed harder. “You’re all just jealous.” he scolded, strolling past the glaring coot to drag the spare chair from the study and perch down next to Cass.

“Does this mean you’ve given up the damn-ass idea of saying yes?” Sam asked cautiously.

Dean tore his gaze from his little girl, who was slurping and squealing away at the bowl of disgusting looking baby food, to meet his brother’s eyes. Hating the look of fear in them, and himself for putting it there. “Don’t worry Sammy, Cass talked me down from the ledge. Our deal stands. We’re not giving those dickless fuckers what they want.”

Sam visibly relaxed with a sigh of relief, slumping in the kitchen chair. “Good.”

“Dean.”

He turned to meet his husband’s wide panicked eyes. “Cass?”

“Dean. - Dean take her.” Cass practically shoved the little girl into her father’s arms a second before doubling over. Both hands clutching at his head. Gasping in pain.

“Cass?” Dean asked fearfully.

“Cass? You okay?” Sam added.

Dean shot his brother a hard glare. “Does he look alright? Cass?”

“No.” Cass wheezed. Tears trailing down his cheeks from the intensity of his eyes being squeezed shut tight. “Dean…I….I have…..” he didn’t finish the sentence. He just vanished. No explication.

Dean stared at the now empty chair, Jamie cradled to his chest. His heart pounding with fear. It took him too many seconds to scramble to his feet, knocking the chair back. “Cass?” he yelled into the ether.

Sam grabbed his cell, Jamie wailing as she sensed the sudden atmosphere of panic.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Cass stared around at the abandoned forest. He had no idea where he was, only that something importantly was happening. The blindingly painful vision hadn’t shown him much, just the trees and direct. He’d been drawn to his current location out of a deep rooted instinct. He turned in a wide circled as he fought to get his bearings. The earth around him was damp and thick with mud, and every tree seemed to have fallen. His stomach clenched at the intense sense of déjà vu. The last scene he’d seen like this had been Dean’s burial site. After he’d dragged him out of hell and forced him back into his body. He moved closer to the center of the chaos and stared down at the dirt, crouching to examine it more closely. It was a grave, though whose he had no idea.

Cass wasn’t an idiot, despite appearances to the contrary sometimes. This was a trap, every instinct he had as a soldier told him so, he was just glade he’d come alone. A noise behind him proved his point as he swung just in time to defend himself against attack. Despite his fading ‘mojo’ as Dean called it, he still had his reflexes, his training. He moved with grace as he deflected his brother’s attack. His bare feet finding perfect purchase among the mud. His brother’s blade slicing through the pale grey cotton of the t-shirt, narrowly missing his flesh.

Cass moved with ease as he fought to gain the upper hand, and he didn’t falter at the sudden, yet expected, arrival of a second brother. Making easy work of the pair in the early morning light. Using their movements against one another.

With two dead angels at his feet, and their blades in his hands, Cass rushed back to the burial sight. He didn’t have the time to hover and think. More of his brothers would arrive soon and he knew, could feel Dean’s distress at his sudden departure. He crouched once more and reached into the earth, ripping the young man free.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean paced frantically. Jamie still wailing in his arms. No among of shushing or humming was calming the girl, most probably because Dean was about as relaxed as Cass in a whore house. “Where the hell is he?” Dean repeated for the tenth time in as many seconds. He glanced over to see Bobby and Sam looking equally lost and worried.

Sam had tried calling Cass’ cell but it had rung out in the room above, where it was safely nestled in the pocket of Castiel’s trench coat, hanging on the back of the bedroom door. After that they’d been at a loss, so Dean just paced and panicked, and paced some more. Humming harshly to his daughter.

He was halfway to the kitchen counter when the sound of air moving and papers being scattered rang behind him.

“Help!” Cass called as he carried an unconscious body to Bobby’s bed.

Dean rushed forward, Jamie pressed securely to his chest as he looked down at the dirt covered face with a deep confused frown.

“Who is it?” Bobby asked, matching his confusion.

“That’s our brother.” Sam replied over Dean’s shoulder.

“Your brother? Adam?”

“Cass what the hell?” Dean turned sharply to meet his husband’s gaze.

“Angels.” Cass clarified, setting the hard won angel blades on Bobby’s desk.

“Angels? Why?” Sam pressed, looking between his brothers and Castiel.

Cass shrugged. “One things for sure.” he marched forward determinedly. “We need to hide him now.” he pressed his fingers to Adam’s ribs, etching the same Enochian he’d given Sam, Dean and Jamie. The intensity and pain ripping the boy from his unconscious state.

Cass stepped back as Adam shot upright on the bed. The young man looking around frantically, scanning the room and their faces. “Where am I?”

“Its okay. Relax. Your safe.” Sam insisted gently.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Well you’re going to find this a little….a lot crazy…but we’re actually your brothers.” Dean said in his attempt at comfort.

Adam looked between them.

“it’s the truth. John Winchester’s our father too. See, I’m Sam and….”

“Yeah, and I’m sure that’s Dean.” Adam sneered, looking to his older brother. His eyes flickering from Dean’s face to the baby in his arms, to Cass at his side. “I _know_ who you are.”

“How?” Sam frowned.

“They warned me about you.”

“Who did?”

“The angels. Now where the hell is Zachariah?” Adam spat viciously.

Dean clenched his jaw at the name. “Great.” he huffed. “I should have known it was too good to last.” he shook his head, turning away from his brother to face Cass. “You okay?”

Cass looked down at his tattered shirt, lifting it to examine the skin beneath. IT was red by healing. “Fine.” he nodded. Dropping the hem of his shirt, Cass reached for Jamie.

“She hasn’t stopped since you left.”

“She’s scared.” Cass clarified, pulling the little girl to his chest and whispering soothingly in her ear.

“She wasn‘t the only one. Don’t do that again. Hear me.” Dean demanded harshly.

“I had to get to him before the others.” Cass insisted. “I’m sorry for making you worry Dean.”

Dean shook his head and gave Cass’ shoulder a squeeze.

“If you’ve finished fussing over your husband like a jittery housewife, can we focus on your resurrected brother?” Bobby grumbled.

Taking a breath Dean and Cass turned their attention to Adam, who sat glaring at them with blatant disgust. Dean clenched his jaw as he yanked a chair from the kitchen and dropped down onto it. His arms folded over the back as he regarded his half-brother. “Cass can you do something about the mess?” gesturing at Adam’s face and clothes.

Stepping forward, Jamie still snugly settled on his hip, Cass lifted his hand, ignoring the way Adam flinched away from his touch.

“That’s better. You want something?” Dean asked. His tone hard.

“Here.” Sam handed over a tumbler of whiskey without being asked before perching on the edge of Bobby’s desk.

“Thanks.” Adam murmured grudgingly. His eyes watching Cass as the angel carried the baby across the room and perched easily on another desk top. “That yours?” he asked, obviously without meaning to.

“ _That_?” Dean growled.

Adam swallowed then coughed. “The baby.” a look of shame and regret passing over his face at his own rudeness.

“Yes. Jamie’s our daughter. Cass is my husband. You got a problem with that?”

“Dean.” Sam interrupted.

“Look, just….why don’t you just tell us everything. Start from the beginning.” Dean huffed, attempting to control the anger boiling up inside him.

Adam looked between them all before beginning to explain how he’d been in heaven - Which was a lot like his prom. - when the angels found him and told him he was destine to save the world.

“How are you going to do that?” Dean frowned. An uncomfortably burning sensation in his gut.

“Oh, me and some archangel are going to kill the devil.” Adam stated proudly.

Dean straightened in his chair, eyes wide. “What archangel?” though he really didn’t need to ask, did he?

“Michael. I’m his sword or vessel, or something. I don’t know.”

Dean scoffed. “That’s insane.”

“Not necessarily.” Cass murmured. His features suddenly pale as he looked from Adam to Dean.

“How do you mean?” Dean snapped, glaring at his husband.

Cass swallowed hard, clearing his throat nervously. “It looks like there moving on from you Dean.”

“Well that doesn’t make sense.”

“He is John Winchesters bloodline. Sam’s brother. Its not prefect but its….possible.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Dean groaned.

“Why would they do this?” Sam questioned.

“They’re getting desperate.” Cass murmured. “They know together we can with stand them.”

“No way.” Sam spat furiously. “After everything that’s happened. All that crap about destiny, suddenly the angels have a plan B. Does that smell right to anybody?”

“You know, this had been a really moving family reunion bit I…uh….got a thing….so.” Adam moved to get to his feet only for Sam to stop him.

“No. No. No. Sit down. Just listen okay.”

Dean watched as Sam tried to convince Adam not to say yes. That they were family. He could see the kid was unconvinced and Dean really couldn’t blame him. While he and Sam had over twenty years of history and love between them, Adam didn’t know them from a hole in the ground. And Dean could easily imagine how convincing Zachariah and Michael could be. He’d lay money on them twisting everything. He could only imagine what they’d told Adam about him and Cass.

Despite that, Adam was his brother and he wasn’t going to let Michael rip him apart any more than he’d let Lucifer do it to Sam. Which only left him one option, he’d have to say yes. He’d have to give himself over and hope, and pray that Michael would keep any agreement they made.

“Fair enough. But if you have one good memory of Dad. Just one. Then you’ll give us a little more time.” Sam said pleadingly.

Dean pushed himself out of the chair and headed for the door.

“Dean?” Cass called a second before touching his shoulder.

Dean blinked and staggered. His legs jellifying beneath him for a moment. It took a few seconds to focus but when his vision cleared finally he found himself in the panic room. “What the hell!”

“You forget who your married to.” Cass stated coldly.

He turned to stare at Cass in the doorway, glaring at him hard and furious. “Cass!”

“I’m not letting you do it Dean.”

The sound of hurried feet drew both their attention.

“What happened?” Sam asked breathlessly, appearing beside Cass.

“Dean was attempting to leave.” Cass informed flatly.

“What? Dean?”

He met his husband’s hard gaze and found himself throwing a flippant remark back at him. Defensively. “Not for nothing Cass, but last time you looked at me like that, I got laid.”

“Dean.” Sam scolded, looking between the pair.

“I’m not going to let that kid take a bullet for me!” Dean snapped. Folding his arms across his chest and perching on the edge of the desk. Unable to meet Castiel’s eye.

“Of course not.” Sam shook his head. “But I’m….we’re not letting you do it either.”

Dean glanced up through his lashes. “How many more people do we have to get killed before we stop scarifying our family?”

“What?” Sam frowned, looking over his shoulder at Cass. Who stood silent and sad.

“Mom. Dad. Jess. Jo. Ellen.” Dean’s eyes flickered past his brother to Cass and Jamie.

“Dean….”

“No Sammy. This has to end. I’m tired, man. I’m tired fighting who I’m supposed to be.” he met Cass’ gaze. Pleading for understand. Feeling his stomach clench painfully at the pain and regret he saw mirrored in his husband’s gaze. Inhaling sharply as Cass turned swiftly on his heels and vanished.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Cass lowered Jamie into her crib with a heavy heart and trembling hands. Dean’s words haunting him. With his arms free of the infant, Cass stumbled back towards the bed, dropping down heavily onto the ancient mattress. His whole form felt like it was made of lead.

He’d know Dean had wanted to give up. To make a deal with Michael but hearing him actually voice everything Cass had instinctively know, hurt. He hadn’t seen Dean so defeated since finding him in hell. Broken and close to utter surrender. Thinking back to that time filled Cass with a sick feeling in his gut. It had taken so much to save Dean then. It had felt like an impossible task. But then he’d touched Dean’s should and Dean had clung to him in the darkness with such hope and desperation. And Cass had foolishly thought he could be that for Dean again. That together they could hold out against Michael. - And surely heaven believed the same, or they wouldn’t be resorting to Adam.

Cass rubbed at his face with both hands. Each palm coming away damp and trembling. Maybe this was what heaven wanted. Dean to take Adam’s place? Maybe this was about forcing Dean’s hand. They knew as well as anyone that family was everything to Dean. It was his weakness. He’d sacrifice himself for his brother without a second thought. What better way to make him say yes.

Cass stared across the room at the crib, nodding in agreement with himself. That had to be what this was. Otherwise why not raise Adam before? He pushed himself to his feet and rushed to the door.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean hated himself more with every sweep of his bloody fingers. He knew it was a betrayal. Using his knowledge against his best friend, his lover…his husband. But they were leaving him with little option. It would only be a matter of time before the angels came for Adam, and when they did, they’d be screwed. Dean had to get to Michael first.

He pressed his back against the gun cabinet and held his breath as he heard movement out side. He knew it was Cass from the light almost nonexistent footsteps. He listened to the groan of metal as the bolt was pulled back and the door opened.

“Dean?” Cass murmured, look around confused.

He stepped out from behind the cabinet. “Cass.” he said almost apologetically before slamming his palm to the bloody sigil, bathing the room in white light and sending Cass to God knew where.

Dean didn’t allow himself to think about any of it, he had a plan and no time. Rushing out of the panic room, he grabbed his jacket and headed for the cellar door, and out into the cool afternoon air.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Cass had never felt anything lit it. The anger. Furious, boiling rage clawing at his insides till his whole body was shaking beneath it. It was that rage that fuelled Cass’ reaction once he’d found Dean. Which hadn’t been that difficult to do. Cass just headed for the nearest street preacher. Now all he could think about was his husband’s betrayal. The pain the man he loved beyond all reason had inflicted on him.

Wrapping his fingers painfully tight around Dean’s shoulder he dragged him violently into the nearby alley. Not caring about any injuries he might cause the fragile hunter.

“Are you crazy!” Dean grunted as his back hit the brick wall.

“I rebelled for this?” Cass spat into his face. His fist drawing back to collide with Dean’s jaw. Again and again. Grabbing Dean’s jacket Cass threw him like a rag-doll into the other wall. His fist meeting Dean’s face once more before he growled furiously into it. “So you could surrender to them!” his anger boiled unchecked though him. Cass pounded at Dean’s abdomen and ribs. Feeling the bones crack and break.

“Cass, please.” Dean pleaded. But Cass was too eaten up with rage. Too blinded by hurt to hear the man’s broken pleas.

“I gave up _everything_ for you! I gave you all I had and this is what you give to me!”

Cass kicked Dean squared in the chest, not caring that he might actually kill him. Feeling his fury roll over and over as Dean’s body crumbled at the base of the fence. Slowly he made his way towards the bloody heap that was his husband. “This is your love?” he growled. His fingers curling tightly into a fist, trembling with the desire to deliver a final fatal blow.

“Do it.” Dean murmured brokenly. Looking up at the man through blood soaked eyelashes. “Just do it!”

Cass started down at the hunter. His friend. His lover. His charge. That all too familiar desire to give into the darkness swallowing Dean’s features. Suddenly Castiel was back in that dark hot pit watching Dean break beneath the weight of his sins and desperate for salvation, and slowly the rage died. Leaking out of him. Inhaling slowly his fish relaxed. He met Dean’s watery swollen gaze in the dark and stepped forward. Pressing his fingers to the man’s head. Dean slumped instantly against soiled damp alley floor.

Cass took a few moments to calm the raging anger inside him. Pacing slowly across the alley. Glancing back at Dean. He couldn’t imagine a time in the future where he’d forgive him. Where he’d let Dean touch him again. The man looked like a stranger to him now. But there was still the connection they’d always share. The love Cass had felt for Dean since the moment he’d touched that broken soul. And it was that connection that Cass kneeling next to Dean, his fingers combing though the bloodied strands of hair, before he effortlessly lifted the hunter, gripped him tight by the waist and returned him to the safety of Bobby’s house.

He materialized in the study to Sam yelling. “Because the angels took him” Cass clarified at Bobby’s insistent that Adam just vanished from the house in a blink of an eye.

Sam turned to stare at him, blind panic still prominent on his face. “What happened to him?” he asked looked from the angel to his brother.

“Me.” Cass replied matter-of-factly. Dropping Dean on the now empty bed.

“What you mean the angels took Adam.” Bobby demanded. Surprisingly unfazed by the sight of his surrogate son’s bloody body. “You branded his ribs didn’t you?”

Cass looked up from his unconscious husband. His finger rubbing absently over Dean’s forehead, healing the worst of the damage he’d inflicted during their fight. - Though it had been less of a fight and more of a case of Cass beating Dean to a pulp. “Yes. Adam must have tipped them.”

“How?”

Cass gave the old man a defeated shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe in a dream.”

“Well where would they have taken him?” Sam asked desperately. His eyes flickering over Dean with a look of concern. “Is he going to be okay?”

Cass shrugged, pulling his hand away from Dean’s head and putting a distance between them. “I will change my clothes then begin my search.” he stated, heading for the stairs.

“What about him?”

Sam asked, gesturing to Dean.

Cass looked down from the stairs, over to the bed. “Secure him.” he said flatly. His tone cold and heartless. “He’ll wake soon.” then he continued up to their room.

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

Dean’s head was pounding. Hammering against his skull to the point where he prayed for unconsciousness once more. It took him a few minutes before he felt able to risk opening his eyes and when he did the room was out of focus and too bright. Finally thought his head cleared and he groaned against the pain racking his body. He moved to sit up only to find himself handcuffed to the bed.

His stomach dropped as the memory of his flight came back to him. Swiftly followed by the beat-down Castiel had delivered. Sucking in a breath as his ribs burning slightly, he shifted to allow himself room to sit straight, and finally noticed his brother’s presence.

“How you feeling?” Sam asked gently.

Dean groaned. “Word to the wise, don’t piss off the nerd angels.”

Sam glared. “Your lucky he didn’t kill you. - I can’t believe you did that Dean. To Cass, of all people.”

Dean looked down at his lap. Guilt pooling in the back of his throat like rancid bile. “I know. He wouldn’t let me go. I…..” he trailed off. Shaking his head at him own behaviour. “So how’s it going?” he asked in a change of subject.

“Adam’s gone.” Sam sighed. “The angels have him.”

“Where?” Dean demanded sharply.

“The room where they took you.”

“You sure?”

Sam nodded regretfully. “Cass did a recon.”

“And?” Dean pressed; trying to sit further forward only to be hampered by the handcuffs.

“And….the place is crawling with mooks. Pretty much a no shot in hell, hail Mary kinda thing.”

“Huh, so the usual.” Dean dragged his free hand down his face with a world wary sigh. “What you going to do?”

“For starters.” Sam murmured, getting to his feet and approaching his brother. “We’re bringing you with.”

Dean looked up at his brother like’s he’d just grown a second head. “Excuse me?”

“There are too many of ‘em. We can’t do it alone and ur…your pretty much the only game in town.” Sam replied coolly. Unlocking the cuffs.

“Isn’t that a bad idea?”

“Cass thinks so. Bobby too. I’m not so sure.” Sam shrugged.

Dean watched Sam closely. “Well there right. Cause either it’s a trap to get me there to make me say yes…..”

“That’s Cass’ theory.” Sam nodded.

“And if it’s not a trap, I’m going to say yes anyway. - And I will. I’ll do it. Fair warning.”

Sam stared at him with an air of disbelieve. Or maybe it was irrational hope. “No you won’t. “ he shook his head. “When push shoves you’ll make the right call.”

“You know if tables were turned I’d let you rot in here. Hell I have let you rot in here.”

Sam scoffed, getting to his feet. “Yeah well…I guess I’m not that smart.”

“I don’t get it Sam, why you doing this?”

“Because….your still my big brother.” Sam smiled; turning to leave the panic room.

Dean stared after him for a long moment before getting up from the ratty thin mattress. He exited the basement and headed towards the muffled sound of voices to find Cass and Bobby gathered around the desk. Cass cradling Jamie, a bottle to her lips. As Dean stepped into the study, the angel raised his eyes to meet Dean’s only to instantly drop them once more. Dean sucked in a sharp breath. The feeling of guilt and regret like acid on his flesh.

“Cass?” he stepped further into the room.

“If we’re gong to do this, we should go now.” Cass said coldly. His eyes flickering to Sam’s, while lowering Jamie into Bobby’s outstretched arms.

“Cass can we….” Dean tried again only to be ignored as Cass walked past him towards the stairs. Reappearing a few minutes later. “Are you ready?” he asked Sam. Still refusing to look at Dean.

Sighing Dean reach for his jacket. “Let’s do this.”

A moment later, Cass’ hand landed heavily on his shoulder. His touch distant and cold. And was gone almost as soon as it was there, leaving Dean with a feeling of loneliness.

“Where the hell are we?” he asked as they walked along a dirt path.

“Van Nyse, California.” Cass stated.

“Where’s the beautiful room?”

Cass nodded at the large warehouse a few feet away. “In there.”

“The beautiful room is in an abandoned buffer factory in Van Nyse, California?”

“Where you think it was?” Cass snapped, coming to a halt outside a door.

“I…I don’t know. Jupiter. A blade of grass. Not Van Nyse.” Dean looked around at the seemingly innocent empty lot.

“Tell me again why you don’t just grab Adam and chazzam the hell out of there?” Sam asked, watching Cass tug on his tie. Noticing for the first time the small traces of blood on the white cotton. “What happened?”

“Cass?”

“Because there are at least five angels in there.” Cass replied, ignoring the secondary question.

Dean didn’t miss the softer tone Cass used when talking to his brother or the spark of jealousy it ignited in him. “So, your fast.”

Cass met Dean’s gaze finally, but the hunter instantly wished he hadn’t. The coldness in Castiel’s blue eyes pieces straight through his heart and stole his breath.

“They’re faster. - I’ll clear them out, you two grab the boy. - This is our only chance.”

Dean stared wide eyed at Cass’ shirt as the blood began to seep through. He stepped forward quickly, hands raised, only for Cass to step away from him. “Cass, your bleeding.”

“I’m aware.”

Dean looked from Cass’ face to his shirt as the sigil began to form on the white cotton. “What did you do?”

“What I have to.” Cass huffed.

“Cass….I….You can’t….”

“I don’t want to hear it Dean. Lets just get this done. The sooner we do, the sooner this nightmare will be over with. - For all of us.” he reached for the door handle. Glancing against his will to Dean. “Give me five minutes.” then he stepped into the dark.


	18. You've Got To Lose Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its taken me so long to post, I’ve been busy with life and kinda suffering for the headache that is writers block. There isn’t much more to this fic, maybe one more chapter.

Dean was going crazy. Eaten up with regret and guilt, and a sinking feeling that he’d actually lost Cass for real this time. Sam had tried to reassure him but no matter what he said that black hole remained. He hadn’t even been able to get anything from Gabriel before he’d stepped up to the plate and taken one for the team. Crowley hadn’t been any more help. Unless you counted the location of Pestilence.

 

 

What made it worse was the way they’d left it. That fight as well as Dean’s betrayal had left a giant gapping crack in their relationship, and Dean feared they’d never have the chance to fix it.

 

 

Now on top of everything, his brother was contemplating saying yes and then taking a swan dive into the pit. Like he would ever let that happen. Not in a million years. Not even to save the world. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Dean…”

“No, don’t Dean, me.” he snapped furiously. “You’ve had some stupid ideas in the past, but this….” Dean yelled; glaring at his brother. He turned sharply at the sound of Bobby’s wheelchair rolling across the uneven wood. “Did you know about this?”

“What?” Bobby asked innocently.

“About Sam’s genius plan to say yes to the devil?” The look on the old man’s face was answer enough. “Well thanks for the heads up!” he dragged his fingers through his hair, turning back to Sam. “You can’t do this. Not now. Not after……You wouldn’t let me as yes to save Adam, you can’t…” he shook his head vigorously.

Sam looked at him sympathetically. “That’s the consensus.” he murmured.

“Alright. Awesome. Then end of discussion.” with that he marched furiously past Bobby on unsteady legs.

 

 

They’d felt like jell-o for weeks. Ever since losing Cass. Crumbling under the weight of his pain and regret. He headed for the small playpen and bent to reach for his daughter. Jamie staring up at him expectantly. Hopeful even. The sight kicked his heart into his throat. She’d cried for days when they’d returned for Van Nyse minus Cass, and so had he. In the privacy of their room. - Though he knew Bobby and Sam knew. - He bit his lip, pulling her close. Hating the thoughts that crashed into him. A life without Cass, fighting to keep Sam from Lucifer. He understood Sam’s point of view. Of course he did. He’d wanted to give up a few weeks ago. But after failing Cass, betraying him, he’d promised he wouldn’t stop fighting. Which meant he couldn’t just let Sam give himself over to the fallen archangel.

 

 

The ringing of his phone pulled him out of his thoughts. Shifting Jamie to his hip he rooted into his pocket. “Hello?” he grunted roughly; the anger of his argument with Sam and the sorrow of thinking about his husband tainting his voice.

_“Dean?”_

 

 

His legs finally crumpled beneath him and he landed heavily on Bobby’s bed. Tears burning behind his eyes. His hand trembling and his heart hammering painfully against his rib. Praying he wasn’t hearing things. “C-Cass?”

There was the sound of rushing feet as Sam ran in from the kitchen, looking at him with worried, hopeful eyes. “Is he okay?”

Dean didn’t answer, listening to the rough, deep voice of his husband. Swallowing back the tears and holding Jamie tighter. “I…I thought you were dead. Where the hell are you?” he demanded breathlessly.

_“A hospital.”_

Dean was on his feet again. Eyes wild with panic. “You okay?”

_“No.”_

Dean waited for more, but got nothing. “You want to elaborate?”

Cass groaned down the line, and Dean heard the sound of fabric moving. _“I just….woke up here. The doctors are fairly surprised, they thought I was brain-dead.”_ he groaned once more.

“So….a hospital?”

Sam frowned.

_“Apparently…After Van Nyse I suddenly appeared bloody and unconscious on a shrimping boat of Della Croy. I was told it upset the sailors.”_

“I bet.” Dean swallowed. Breathing for the first time in weeks. He lowered himself back onto the bed, shifting Jamie onto his lap. “But you‘re….okay?”

 _“My batteries are drained.”_ Cass grumbled.

Dean frowned at his brother and Bobby. “You saying….you’re out of angel mojo?”

_“I saying I’m thirsty and my headaches. I have a bug bite that itches no matter how much I scratch. I saying I’m just incredible…..”_

“Human.” Dean whispered.

Cass sighed.

“Wow. - Sorry.”

_“My point is….I can’t get…home. I need money for an airplane ride. And food. - More pain medication ideally.”_

“I’ll come get you.” Dean insisted.

“Dean!” Sam interrupted. “Dean Pestilence.”

_“What was that?”_

“Nothing.”

 _“Dean?”_ Cass grunted.

“It’s nothing. It’ll wait….” he said firmly; glaring at Sam. “I’m coming to get you.”

_“Dean. I don’t need my….mojo to know when you’re lying. What’s going on?”_

Dean ran a hand down his face, shooting Sam a death glare. “We….found a way to spring Satan’s box.”

 _“What?”_ Cass snapped; then groaned with pain. There was a moments silent paused before he spoke again. _“How?”_

“It’s a long story, but it’ll wait.”

“No it won’t.” Sam insisted.

_“No Dean. This is more important. Just…”_

“Cass….”

_“Just send me some money and I’ll meet you…wherever.”_

Dean stared down at Jamie, her eyes watching him intensely. He closed his eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply. “Okay.” he sighed; surrendering. “Bobby’s here, he’ll wire you the cash.”

“I will?” Bobby grumbled.

 _“Dean.”_ Cass paused again and Dean’s heart leapt into his throat. _“You….said no to Michael.”_

 

 

Dean was on his feet again, walking out of the room. Jamie still in his arms. “I did.”

_“I owe you an apology.”_

“Cass.” Dean grunted; stepping out into the early morning light. “No. I’m the one owing the apology.”

_“You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be.”_

Dean couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips. “Thanks. - But I….what I did.” he shook his head. “I shouldn’t….I’m sorry, Cass. You have no idea _how_ sorry.” he choked. “I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to see me again.”

 _“I don’t really have a choice Dean. You’re all I have.”_ Cass huffed lightly.

 

 

Dean’s chest tightened painfully and that bubble of hope that had inflated at hearing Cass’ voice burst. “Right.” he whispered. “I’ll have….”

 _“Dean wait.”_ Cass said quickly. Desperately. _“I didn’t….I was kidding Dean.”_

“Are you?” Dean murmured unconvinced.

 _“Dean. I could have just….Dean, I’m coming home.”_ the words filled with meaning.

“I…” Dean coughed; clearing the lump from his throat.

_“I’ll see you soon Dean. Be careful.”_

“You too. Call Bobby with the details.” Dean barely finished the sentence before the line went dead.

 

 

He lowered the cell and stared down at it. Cass was alive. He was okay. Well except for the being human thing. Dean hadn’t felt this relieved since he’d brought Sam back. Putting the phone in his pocket, he turned to look at Jamie, whose wide blue eyes had been watching him the whole time. “Daddy’s coming home, honey.” Whether she understood him or just sense the sudden change in atmosphere, Jamie smiled. Beginning to babble away at him. “That’s right. I’m sure he’s missed you too.” taking a couple of deep breaths Dean turned and headed back into the house. Bobby and Sam hovering uncertainly in the study.

 

 

“So?”

“He’s….fine. Kinda. Bobby can you wire him the money.” the phone began to ring before Dean was even finished. Bobby rolling over to the kitchen table.

“Where’s he been?”

“In a coma apparently.” Dean replied, lowering Jamie into the playpen.

“But he’s okay?” Sam asked again. Concern clear in his voice.

“He will be, when he’s home. - So are we doing this?”

Sam nodded. “If you’re ready.”

“As ready as I’m gonna be. - Besides Cass insisted we do this.”

“Okay. Let’s go. Sooner there, sooner you’ll be back to see Cass.”

Dean swallowed. Bowing down to press a kiss to Jamie’s head. “Back soon, baby.” he whispered.

Jamie looked up at him. Huffed and turned back to her toys.

“Let’s get going.”

 

 

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

 

 

“It’s good about Cass. I’m glad he’s okay.” Sam murmured behind a yawn. He was so bored, sat staring at the wall of screens in the hospital.

“Yeah.” Dean replied. Pacing back and forth across the room. He hadn’t really said anything since leaving Bobby’s place. Too busy worry about Cass.

“Are you guys going to be…okay?” Sam asked quietly; gaze fixed on the screens.

“What?” Dean frowned.

Inhaling slowly Sam turned to face his brother. “Dean before he……you guys weren’t exactly on speaking terms. He was angry. - Did he seem….okay?”

Dean swallowed; his breath catching. “He sounded fine. - We’re fine.”

“Okay. Good.” Sam nodded. “I just…I’d hate to see you guys…you know.”

“We’ll be fine. Everything is fine.”

 

 

Sam wasn’t sure who his brother was trying to convince, but whoever it was, he was failing. He decided to drop the subject and concentrate on work. Turning back to the screen just as it began to fritz. “Hey.”

“Okay. Now we’re talking.”

 

 

 

_~Beware Promises of Always~_

 

 

 

Cass groaned as he climbed out of the cab and stared up at the hospital. The bus ride had been hell. Long and tedious. He’d never appreciated his ‘angel mojo’ more than right now. What made everything worse was Joshua’s words rolling around in his head. Over and over. Taunting him. Offering him everything he wanted at a price he didn’t think he was willing or able to pay.

 

 

He paid the cabbie then walked slowly into the building. He had no idea where he was going. Dean wasn’t answering his phone. He probably should have gone straight back to Bobby’s place, but he had a strange feeling Dean needed him, so he’d gotten where they were going from Bobby and jumped a bus. But there was still the problem of being in a very large hospital with no idea how to find his husband and brother-in-law. They had to be here somewhere.

 

 

He marched up to the nurses’ station. “Hello?”

The woman held up a hand to halt him while she chatted down the line.

“Excuse me.” he tried politely, but she just waved him off again. Sighing wearily, Cass turned away from the desk and just started walking. He’d just have to check every room on every floor.

 

 

He didn’t know how, having lost his angelic senses, but his feet seemed to guide him directly to Dean. But he was too late. Dean and Sam lay on the tiled floor, coughing up blood. Doubled over with pain. Pestilence standing over them. Taunting them. Cass’ fear and anger boiled up.

“Cass?” Dean gasped. His face contorted in agony.

“How’d you get here?” Pestilence asked. Frowning at the angel.

“I took a bus. Don’t worry I….” Cass barely took three furious steps into the room, before he was crumpling to his knees, coughing up blood. Pain ripping through his chest and stomach. His eyes stinging. His skin blazing. His groin…..on fire. He fought to get to his feet but he was too weak. He met Dean’s gaze across the room as Pestilence moved closer. Hovering over him.

“Well look at that. An occupied vessel, but….powerless.” the horseman scoffed. Chuckling. “It’s fascinating. There’s not a spec of angel in you.”

 

 

Dean’s eyes widened and Cass felt his heart crumple at the fear he saw there. Suddenly Cass felt a wave of determination. His own fear at losing Dean allowing him to tap into what small part of grace he still possessed. He pushed himself to his feet as his fingers wrapped around the demon knife. He grabbed Pestilence before the horsemen had time to realise. “Maybe just a spec.” Cass growled furiously. Slamming his hand on the small table and cutting his finger free of his hand. Ring along with it.

 

 

The horseman reared back, gripping his hand as it bleed. Then Cass was on his back as the female demon who’d been hovering nearby rushed him. Tackling him to the ground. But she hadn’t thought it through properly and had landed on top of the knife. Essentially killing herself.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s too late.” Pestilence smirked before vanishing.

Dean and Sam scrambled to their feet, Dean rushing over to help Cass. “You okay?”

Cass groaned, wincing at the pain in his body. “Not really.” he shook his head. “I need more pain medication.”

Dean smiled warmly. “We’ll get some.” his hands cupping Cass’ face while his eyes scanned for any sign of additional injuries.

“How are you?” Cass asked softly.

“Better now.”

“Okay, as much as I’m glad you guys are back together, can we get out of here before hospital security find us with two dead bodies.” Sam huffed; rushing for the door.

 

 

 

**~Beware Promises of Always~**

 

 

 

_Cass opened his eyes slowly as he pushed himself up from the dirt. His head was killing him and he felt nauseous. Being expelled twice within the space of a few hours had him feeling weak and confused. He was also still pissed at Dean. How could the man who claimed to love him so willingly used the knowledge he’d given him for his own ends? He’d never really known what it felt like to have someone he loved betray him. Until now. At least he finally understood why it had taken Dean so long to forgive Sam. If he even had._

 

_Getting to his feet, Cass looking around. His eyes scanning over the perfect green of the grass. The large tropical trees that hovered over him like titans below a glass ceiling. He had no idea where he was but it felt peaceful. Warm. Comforting. It was almost like….home._

_“Castiel.”_

_He turned sharply at the deep voice behind him; coming face to face with a dark skinned man with greying hair and eyes that held more knowledge than any he’d seen before. “J-Joshua?” his breath caught for a second._

_The old man nodded and turned to tend a large plant that looked centuries old._

_“I’m…home? - Heaven?”_

_“For now.” Joshua replied over his shoulder_

 

 

_Cass looked at him with a mix of confusion and fear. His eyes flickering around him. This hadn’t been what he’d expected from the Garden of Heaven. - Though he wasn’t sure what he **had** expected exactly. He strolled over, stumbling a little, to examine the plants._

_“If you want an answer you must first ask the question.” Joshua said sagely._

_Cass turned away from the bright tropical red flower. “Why?”_

_“That’s a big question; would you like to be more specific?”_

_“Why am I here?”_

_Joshua didn’t turn as he answered. He didn’t acknowledge Cass in any way. “I have a message for you.”_

_“A message?” Cass frowned. His heart leaping into his throat._

_“Well, it’s more like an offer. - A proposal.” Joshua murmured; tipping water over a small corner of the garden._

_“From who?”_

_“Our father.”_

_Cass stopped breathing. A cold sweat broke out on his skin. His father? The fact that God had refused to help before, had washed his hands of the whole situation meant his sudden interest couldn’t be good. He wasn’t going to like it, whatever **it** was. But there was also a sudden spark of hope in him. A hope that this nightmare may just be stopped. That they had a chance to save the world after all. “What is it?” he asked cautiously._

 

 

_Suddenly Joshua was facing him. Face old, almost unfeeling yet there was a warmth and sympathy behind those dark eyes that reached out to Cass like an electric shock. “What would you do to save humanity, Castiel? What would you sacrifice?”_

_“Anything.” Cass said without considerations and instantly regretted it._

_Joshua nodded proudly, but with an air of mourning about him. “Our father will end this war; will return Lucifer to his cage and Michael to heaven…”_

_“Michael is no longer in Heaven?” Cass interrupted with a panicked gasp. His stomach dropping with the news._

_“He is not. He has claimed a vessel.”_

_Cass swallowed and staggered backwards. His heart racing violently against his ribs. His head spinning. Unable to focus on anything. “Dean?” he whispered._

_Joshua didn’t answer. He simply continued on. “He will give the world peace, on condition that **you** return to Heaven.”_

_Cass stared at the old man, his eyes burning. He’d waited for months to return to the fold. To reconnect with his family and now he had the chance, and in doing so, save the world. Save Sam. - But most importantly save Dean and Jamie. There was no decision to make._

_“If you decide to return Castiel.” Joshua continued. “It will be for eternity. You will never set foot on earth again. You will never be allowed to speak or see Dean Winchester, his brother or his daughter….”_

_Our daughter. Cass silently corrected._

_“Or any person connected to the life you were living on earth. - Even here in heaven.”_

_Cass’ stomach dropped further; tears like acid in his eyes. He shook his head. “You can’t…..you can’t mean…?”_

_“Even when they return home you are forbidden to see them.”_

_Cass felt his legs turn to water beneath him. How could he agree to that? How could his father even ask that of him? They were bound together, him and Dean. They were a family. They loved each other. How was he meant to give that up? “I….I….” he turned his back on the older angel. Shaking his head once again. Mumbling to himself._

_“Father will give you time to consider.” Joshua suddenly added. “But you must decide quickly Castiel, Humanity is running out of time.”_

_Cass turned to find Joshua paying close attention to a newly blossomed plant, his fingers running over it lovingly. A sadness settling on his face._

_“Welcome home Gabriel.” the old man murmured quietly and Cass felt his chest tightened. Gabriel was dead? “Decided quickly Castiel. The wheels are already in motion.”_

 

 

Cass startled at the touch to his lower back. His breath rushing out of his lungs. He turned his head to see Dean standing behind him. His face pinched with concern and fear.

“You okay?” Dean asked cautiously.

Cass stared at him for a long moment before nodding. “Fine, I was just…thinking.”

“About Sam’s insane idea to say yes to the devil?”

Cass turned back to watch the world outside. The warm glow of sunset burning the sky. His arms hanging uselessly at his side. “In a way.”

Dean dropped his gaze to the floor. “Look Cass…..about what happened. What I did.” he cleared his throat nervously. “I’m sorry. I….I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No you shouldn’t.”

“I was just…trying to protect my family. I couldn’t…”

Cass turned slowly to regard his husband. “And I told you it wouldn’t change anything. I told you Michael would say whatever he needed to. You didn’t believe me.”

 

 

The breath caught in Dean’s throat as he meet Castiel hurt gaze. “I…I’m scared okay. We’re running out of time. We both know that.”

“We _weren’t_ running out of time Dean.” Cass said harshly. “As long as you and Sam remained stalwart, there was nothing they could do.”

Dean clenched his jaw tight at the accusation in Cass’ words.

“Sam has been strong enough to hold out, why couldn’t you? - But then you’ve always been weak, haven’t you Dean.” Cass spat viciously; then instantly regretted it as Dean’s features paled. “I…I’m sorry Dean that was unfair of me. I shouldn’t…”

“No. You’re right. I’m weak.” He murmured, turning away from the angel.

“Where are you going?” Cass demanded.

Dean remained silent; closing the gap between him and the door.

“Dean.” Cass rushed forwards almost desperately. Snagging his arm and forcing the hunter to stop and turn. “You’re not weak Dean. You know I don’t think you’re weak.” Cass could see Dean didn’t believe him. He moved closer, his hand raising to cradle the man’s jaw. His thumb brushing against the rough layer of growth. “Dean.” he whispered before gently pulling the man down, pressing their lips together in a closed mouth kiss.

 

 

When he pulled back there were tears in Dean’s eyes. He could feel the man’s pulse beneath his palm. Feel his breath ghosting his cheek.

“I don’t know what to do Cass? I can’t let Sam…” he choked off.

“We’ll find another way Dean.” Cass whispered; already knowing what he had to do.

Dean cleared his throat. “We might not have another way.”

 

 

Cass sighed miserable. He wanted to tell Dean about God’s offer, but he knew Dean would never let him accept, any more than he was willing to let Sam say yes. He couldn’t tell Dean because he didn’t want to force him to make that decision. Either Castiel said yes to God, or Sam said yes to Lucifer. Cass knew which option was the better choice. Him in heaven or Sam in hell.

 

 

“Then we’ll do whatever we have to do.” Cass murmured softly. He took another step till he was pressed flush against Dean then leant up to kiss him again. Dean’s arms instantly wrapping around his back, holding him tightly. Terrified to let him go.

 

 

They stood like that for a few long moments then Cass stepped back, pulling Dean with him. Leading back to the bed.

 

 

Jamie was below with Bobby, making up for months of not walking. They’d been forced to leave their daughter with a neighbour/friend of Bobby’s while Dean had headed off to meet with Death, while Cass had accompanied Sam and Bobby in their mission to stop the Croatoan virus from being released.

 

 

When the bed hit the back of Cass’ legs, he inhaled slowly and dragged his hands from the heated skin of Dean’s neck to push hurriedly at his shirt. His own clothes almost violently stripped from his body. When they were both naked above the waist, Dean pushed Cass gently down onto the bed, his hands practically ripping at his jeans. Cass skimming out of his smart black suit pants. Kicking his shoes across the room, to collide with the side of Jamie’s crib. Not that Dean or Cass were paying much notice to where their clothes were flying off to.

 

 

Finally they were both stripped and Dean lowered himself over his angelic husband. Mouthing at the curve of Cass’ neck. His hands pressing into the mattress; holding himself up. Cass’ hands skimming over his body. Soaking in Dean’s heat.

 

 

Cass couldn’t believe how alive he felt despite having lost practically all his grace. It was as if his divine core had been filtering his every feelings, both emotional and physical. It felt stronger now. Blinding. Impossible to define. When Dean’s hands touched his bare skin a shiver shot through him like he’d never felt.

“Cass?” Dean whispered. Looking down at him, concerned. “What’s wrong?” he sounded almost panicked

Cass shook his head; his hand pressing reassuringly to his husband’s cheek. “Nothing. I….you feel incredible.”

Dean smiled warmly down at Cass. A heat he felt right to his core. And it was a thousand times better than his grace. He pulled Dean down into a deep meeting of lips. His body arching up against Dean.

 

 

Cass rolled his hips; inhaling sharply at the spark of lust and pleasure that rocketed through him. Repeating the action over and again with increasing desperation and force. Dean broke kiss breathless and flushed. Taking a couple of deep breaths before dropping his lips to Cass’ neck. Sucking hard till the skin bruised like it had never done before. Cass’ nails scratching deep red lines down his lovers toned back. Panting and moaning. He tried to roll them, to reverse the balance of power but found himself unable. The strength he’d known all his existence gone. Dean lifted his head and smirked down at the angel - ex-angel.

“Looks like I’m in charge tonight.”

Cass’ stared up at him with narrow eyes. “You think so.?” he whispered before pulling Dean down into a harsh almost violent kiss, attempting once again to switch them while distracting his husband. It worked, though whether it was because Cass found the strength or Dean let him, neither knew. But Dean was on his back, Cass’ mouth still devouring his as the ex-angel straddled his hips. Rocking forward to shoot white-sparks of pleasure through them both.

 

 

Dean carded his fingers through the thick mass of Cass’ hair as he slowed the kiss to something deep and languid. His tongue sweeping against Cass in gentle paced movements.

 

 

The next time the kiss was broken it was by Cass, who leant back on his knees and stared down at his naked husband. His hands sliding exploitatively over Dean’s chest. Dean’s own hands curved possessively over Cass’ thighs.

“Everything feels so…” Cass shook his head; unable to find the right words to describe the intense emotions and feelings cascading in his body.

Dean stared up at him questioningly. “You mean you never felt…?”

“I felt.” Cass quickly insisted. “I felt everything, and it was incredible…its just now…its…I can’t describe it Dean. Its like the veil had been lifted.” he whispered. His eyes fixed to Dean’s body. “I want to feel everything.” he added after a long moment of silence.

Dean smiled up at him. Nodding and Cass bowed to once again capture the other man’s lips.

 

 

Cass broke the kiss to skim down Dean’s body, his mouth never breaking contact with the man’s flesh. Sucking, licking and kissing. His fingers continuing to explore every inch. Trying to burn to his memory what he was feeling. But not acknowledging why it was so important.

 

 

His fingers curled into Dean’s pelvis bone, holding him tight. Dean attempting to lift his hips only to be forced back down. Cass’ stared at him. His eyes heavy with lust and his tongue sweeping over his dry lips.

 

 

Dean moaned pathetically at the sight and dropped his head back, closing his eyes and flinging his arm over them. Choking on a gasp as moist heat engulfed him fully. It wasn’t the first time Cass had had his mouth on Dean’s dick, but for some reason he couldn’t fathom it felt like the most important.

 

 

Cass couldn’t believe the desire flooding through him. The way his heart and blood raced. The heat engulfing his whole existence. It hadn’t felt like this before. He felt desperate for more. Pulling off of Dean with a sloppy wet pop, he swung his leg over Dean. Bowing to re-capture his mouth in a deep hot kiss. His body rocking against the firm toned one beneath him. Dean’s fingers curled tightly in his hair. Blindly Cass slipped a hand between them and shifted his body, bracing himself on the still wet erection.

 

 

Dean broken the kiss and reached for Cass ass, holding him motionless above him.

“Dean?” Cass frowned; hurt at his husband actions.

“You can’t just…you’re human now Cass. You need to be ready.”

Cass flushed embarrassingly at the reminder. “Right.”

Dean smiled encouragingly. “Top drawer.” he whispered.

Cass crawled off of him and hurried across the bed, pulling open the nightstand drawer. When he turned Dean was behind him. The hunter plucked the tube out of Cass’ fingers with one hand while pushing him to lay back with the other.

“But I want…”

 

 

Dean cut him off with a kiss as he position himself between Cass’ legs. Pouring the lube over his fingers. He broke the kiss to look down at his angelic husband. “This might…hurt. A little.”

Cass nodded understandingly.

 

 

It didn’t hurt so much when Dean pressed his finger against the tight ring of muscle. Smearing the lube everywhere. When he penetrated it was more discomfort than pain. Cass panted, his body jolting up the bed in surprised and his fingers curling into the bed clothes. But he didn’t complain or call a halt. Dean worked at a considerate pace until he was sure Cass was ready, then he pulled his finger free before pressing forward again, this time with two.

 

 

Cass jolted on the bed again, his fingers curling tighter in the sheet and a hiss tumbling from his lips.

“It’s okay. You’re doing great.” Dean murmured; leaning forward to press a gentle kiss of the ex-angel’s lips. “So good.”

Cass swallowed and closed his eyes. This thighs trembling to stay open and fight the instant to snap them shut. Dean continued to whisper encouragements as he slowly reached deeper, scissoring and twisting his fingers to help relax and stretch the muscles.

 

 

Cass lay silent but for his heavy breathing and the occasional gasp of surprise when Dean hit his prostate. He’d never quite understood the need or desire for sex. It had seemed repetitive and messy, though he’d always enjoyed having it with Dean. Though in hindsight that was probably more for Dean’s benefit than his own. - Now though. Now he understood the appeal. He let out a little yelp when he felt another finger enter him and once again Dean calmed him with a kiss. Why his father had to make this so difficult he couldn’t fathom. Why make it for men to be attracted to other men and then make the process of sharing those feelings to difficult? Maybe if he ever saw his father, he’d ask. He knew what human’s would say. That it was because it was forbidden. That what he and Dean shared was wrong, and in many ways it was. He was an angel, Dean was human. That was wrong. _This_ could never be wrong.

 

 

“Cass?”

“Hmmm.” the angel groaned; opening his eyes to see Dean staring at him with a worried look.

“You okay there?”

“Wonderful.” Cass replied. “This is wonderful. - _You_ are wonderful.”

Dean chuckled. “Okay then.” he smirked; drawing his fingers away and rolling onto his back next to the ex-angel. “And you are ready.” he whispered; resting his head on his hands against the pillow and watching his husband patiently.

 

 

Cass looked at him confused for a long moment. Dean glanced down at himself, wiggling his brows and Cass flushed as realization dawned.

“Oh, right.” Cass murmured; lifting himself back over Dean. His husband grinning up at him. “So I just…”

Dean nodded.

 

 

There was a moment of silent contemplation before Cass inhaled slowly and reached for Dean’s dick. He sunk down inch by inch and watched as Dean’s face flushed and his eyes rolled back into his head. Cass couldn’t keep his own eyes from drifting closed and he moaned at the sensations overwhelming him. It took him a few long seconds to finally find himself seated and he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. His palms pressed flat to Dean’s chest as the hunter’s eyes opened to find his.

 

 

Cass felt himself adjusting; his body familiar yet unaccustomed to the invasion. He felt a spark of anger towards his grace. He hadn’t realized it had dulled so much. He could feel the universe all around him when connected with Heaven, could feel the joy and beauty of every single soul in creation, but hadn’t felt anything of his own.

“Hey, you okay?” Dean asked; his hand squeezing at his lovers thigh. “Cass?”

 

 

Cass shook his head; shaking off the mournful thoughts. Taking a breath he braced himself on Dean’s chest and slowly began to rise. Panting at the sparks of pleasure the friction was causing. Pulling himself almost fully away from Dean’s body, he paused before lowering himself back down with a swift motion. Dean gasped while he moaned. His eyes fluttering closed.

 

 

He repeated the action at a steady pace. Savouring every second. Committing every sensation to memory. He stared down at Dean; watching him glow with pleasure and desire. His body peppering with sweat bit by bit, second by second. He could feel his own skin becoming moist and a strong scent filled the room.

 

 

“Cass…” Dean breathed. “I…you…” he gasped for breath and locked his fingers to the ex-angel’s hips. “Faster.” he ordered. Encouraging him with his hands.

Cass, as always, complied, building his momentum. Their combined moans echoing off the walls.

“So close.” Dean grunted; his hips thrusting up to meet Cass’ downward motion. “Ahhh…faster.”

Cass panted and moaned; his body slapping noisily against Dean as he once again increased the pace. He choked on a inhale when Dean’s fingers curled around his erection and began to stroke rough and quick. Cass’ nails biting deep into Dean’s shoulders.

 

 

Dean’s determined grip faulted but did not stop as his body became ridged. Cass continued to move as the man released himself. Flooding Cass with his seed. The feeling sparked something inside Cass and he felt his own body burst to life. His vision filling with white light that had him fearful his body was going to explode in a eruption of pure grace. He trembled and yelled. His head rolled back on his shoulders.

 

 

Finally the lights faded and Cass collapsed forward onto Dean, breathing hard. His body incredibly alive. Now he knew. He understood why human’s clung to this. Why it seemed so important to Dean. It was as close to the pure grace of heaven as any human would ever get.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick reminder that this is part of a series, so this story won’t be the this universe. Thank you to everyone whose been following and reviewing. And for the Kudos. I really appreciate your patients.


	19. When Saints and Sinners Bleed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is the final chapter and pre-warning it doesn’t end well. (tissues may be required. At least if I’ve written it right.) But as I’ve said this isn’t the end of the story, just the end of this little piece of it. 
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter title from Bon Jovi song: We Weren’t Born To Follow.

Cass was awake and dressed before the sun had even begun to rise, careful not to wake Dean as he slipped into his suit and coat. A heavy painful weight on his chest. He swallowed hard as he glanced over at the bed and his sleeping husband. He didn’t want to leave, and he knew Dean would never forgive him for doing so, but there was little choice left. He had to protect his family and that meant agreeing to whatever his father demanded of him. He stepped over to the bed and looked down mournfully at Dean, his fingers hovering over his head. Desperate to touch, but he knew if he did he would wake up and Cass would never be able to leave. But he couldn’t just walk away without something. Slowly he bent and pressed a soft kiss to Dean’s forehead and held his breath at the hunter moaned and shifted on the bed. Grateful his husband did not wake.

 

 

With a last long lingering look he made his way to the door, opening it quietly and stepping through. Pulling it close softly behind him. He took his time on the stairs, his ears straining for any sign that Dean or Sam, or Bobby had woken. He stepped into the study to find Bobby sleeping soundly on the bed, the small travel crib beside him. Swallowing the lump in his throat Cass stepped into the room and bowed over the side of the crib, gently scooping the little girl from her resting place. Carrying her into the adjoining kitchen where he took a seat, cradling her small body to him. He pressed a kiss to her feather-like hair and felt the tears burning in his eyes.

 

 

“I…” he choked against he little girls ear. “I don’t want to go. I want to stay with you and your father forever. I love you both. But…If I don’t, he’ll lose your uncle Sam, and maybe even you. I can’t let that happen. We sacrifice ourselves for our family. He taught me that. - He’d probably be angry at me. No, I know he will be angry. He’ll probably hate me, but…I’m doing this for him. For all of you. Maybe one day he’ll understand.” Cass sucked in a sharp breath as Jamie curled into his heat, her small hands reaching for his tie, as if she didn’t want him to go anymore than he wanted to leave. “I’m sorry.” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her head once again. “But I love you too much to have faith that their plan will work. He can’t lose Sam.”

 

 

Burying his face into the little girl’s hair and inhaling deeply, he memorized the smell and feel of her. Dean’s daughter. _Their_ daughter. With the tears beginning to slide from his eyes Cass slowly got to his feet and carried her back into the room. Back to the crib at Bobby’s side. Lowering her back down, he turned to look at the sleeping man. “Look after him.” he whispered; before turning and marching determinedly towards the door. Yanking it open he stepped out into the cool pre-dawn air. Looking up at the heavens he closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath he whispered into the wind. “I’m ready. I agree.”

 

 

Like that the world shifted. When he opened his eyes he was back in the garden. Joshua only a few feet from him. The man’s eyes fixed on the younger angel. The sympathy glowing brightly in his dark gaze. The pain in Cass’ chest was crippling and he found himself on his knees in the dirt, unable to breath. A heavy hand pressed down on his shoulder and instantly Cass felt the soothing warmth of his grace swamping his body once more. Smoothing the edges. Blanketing him with pure light and dulling his senses. He hadn’t noticed it before, now it was like a punishment. He fought to cling to his heightened human emotions but he couldn’t fight off his nature. He closed his eyes again, clenching his teeth against the feelings. Scrambling to cling onto the memory of what he and Dean had shared only a few hours ago. Every minute touch and taste, emotions that they’d shared. Holding on to what he could no longer have in his sacrifice to save his family for what was destiny to come.

 

 

 

**~~~Beware Promises of Always~~~**

 

 

 

Dean woke alone but didn’t feel a need to worry. It hadn’t been the first time and it wouldn’t be the last. Sighing contently he lay in the silent room and turned towards the window, looking out at the bright early morning sunlight. It was hard to believe it was almost over. That if everything went to plan they could put the apocalypse behind them and finally begin to have normal lives. Well as normal as they were capable of without Sam. He ran his hand over the empty place beside him. It was cold meaning Cass had been up for hours. Dean frowned. After what they’d done, after Cass losing his grace, he would have expected the angel - no, ex-angel, to have remained in bed at least until Dean had dragged him out of it. He certainly likes to sleep in after a night of exciting rambunctious sex. But then Cass had always been weird.

 

 

Throwing back the covers Dean swung his legs out of the bed and reached for his discarded underwear. Slipping them on, he went in search of his jeans and a fresh t-shirt. He’d shower later, right now he wanted to drink coffee, eat breakfast and kiss his husband and daughter.

 

 

He took the stairs with a spring in his step and rounded the study doorway with a wide grin on his face. “Morning!” he announced cheerfully. He was halfway to the stove when he realised Bobby and Sam were staring at him. He turned to look at them and his eyes scanned the small room. “Where’s Cass?” he looked between the two men, then to the study where Jamie lay on the floor babbling to her teddy bear. He looked back to his brother and friend. “Guys?” he asked nervously.

Sam looked at Bobby mournfully.

“He left.” The older hunter said calmly. His eyes filled with sympathy as he stared up at the younger man. “I…I heard him leave just before dawn.”

Dean looked confused. Then angry. “Where did he go? Did you even try to stop him?” Dean yelled; his eyes wide with panic and hurt. His voice startling his daughter, causing her to being to wail.

Sam quickly got to his feet and rushed to see to the baby girl.

“Of course I did, but by the time I got to the door he was gone.” Bobby snapped back; his temper getting the better of him.

“Gone? How the fregging hell can he be gone? He can’t just flutter away. He’s human!”

“Dean, calm down.” Sam insisted.

“Calm down? How am I meant to calm down? You just told me my husband’s fucking vanished!”

Sam looked sadly at his older brother while jostling his niece in his arms.

 

 

Dean turned sharply and snatched Sam’s phone of the kitchen table, hitting Cass’ number.

“Dean I’ve already…”

The thing rang and rang, then there was the recorded message that usually made Dean smile but right now made him sick to his stomach. “Cass!” he yelled down the phone. “Where are you? Cass!”

Sam sighed. “Dean I’m…”

“Crowley!” he snapped.

“What?”

“Crowley must have taken him? - Or maybe Lucifer got him? Lucifer’s the more logical culprit. - Or Michael.” Dean nodded harshly. “They’ve taken him to make sure we show up.”

“Dean he went voluntarily.” Bobby said gently. His back pressed to the counter.

“You don’t know that!” Dean snapped viciously. His panic rising higher by the second. “We need to go get him.”

“Dean…” Sam sighed. “Maybe he just…”

“Don’t!” Dean warned through gritted teeth. His eyes red and burning. “Don’t even think it.” With that he marched out of the room and headed for the stairs. “You wanted to take the fight to Satan, that’s what we’re going to do.” he yelled back over his shoulder.

 

 

 

**~~~Beware Promises of Always~~~**

 

 

 

Cass sat beside the clear pool of water, watched the tiger lilies float aimless on its service. Beneath them he could see the world he’d just left. More precisely the family he’d just felt. He ached at the distress Dean was suffering and hated himself for not leaving him a message. A letter explaining what he’d done. Where he’d gone. - Why. A tear dropped into the water and it rippled out, distorting the image of Dean for a few painful seconds.

 

 

“Someone has to tell him.” Cass choked out.

Joshua was working; preening a bush of bright tropical flowers. “You can’t go back, Castiel. You agreed.”

“I know.” Cass snapped. “I know but…” he sighed; his eyes staring as Dean yelled at his brother for the fifth time in ten minutes. “Send someone else.”

Joshua walked over to join him; crouching down beside Cass. “Will it make it any better? Telling him that you return to heaven to protect him?”

Cass shook his head. “No.” he whispered. “I should have told him myself but…he’d have never let me go.” He stared as Dean and Sam captured a demon. Dean taking out his fear and anger on the creature. Demanding to know where Cass was. Did Lucifer have him? When the demon failed to answer, Dean threw more holy water at him before marching away and yanking on a rope, hosting the demon into the air before storming back to the monster and slicing its throat. Cass’ gut twisted at the pure glee that gleamed in Dean’s eyes. A look he hadn’t seen there since he’d dragged him from hell kicking and screaming.

 

 

“Send a reaper.” he heard himself say. “The one he knows as Tessa. Have her tell him I’m dead.”

“Castiel?” Joshua frowned.

Cass looked at the older man. “If he thinks I’m alive, if he knows I’m in heaven, he’ll try to get me back. He’ll come for me.” the angel shook his head. “He’ll die trying. - Send Tessa.” he ordered quietly.

 

 

 

**~~~Beware Promises of Always~~~**

 

 

 

They reached Detroit at sundown and parked the car in an alley by a hotel Sam was sure was Lucifer’s lair. Dean stared at the building, his eyes searching for any sign of his husband. The demons they drained knew nothing about the missing angel, or at least said they knew nothing. Dean didn’t believe them. Demons lied.

 

 

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and hit the call button. He’d been doing it every twenty minutes, just hoping Cass would answer. But like every other time it just rang out and then went to voicemail. Dean cringed at the sharp stab of pain that went through his gut at the sound of the angel’s rough deep voice, and pinched at the bridge of his nose to stop the tears burning behind his eyes.

 

 

“Dean?”

“Lets get this over with.” he shoved open the door and turned; marching toward the boot of the Impala and yanking open the hood to stare down at the gallon bottles filled with demon blood, Sam stepping up beside him silently.

“Dean.” Sam whispered. “If this doesn’t…”

“Don’t.” Dean glared. “This was your big plan, you make it work.” he ordered harshly.

Sam inhaled sharply at the violence in his brother voice and nodded. “I can’t do this with you watching me. - Go call Bobby. Check in on Jamie. Just…”

 

 

Dean huffed and walked away. Perching himself on the hood of the car and yanking his phone free of his pocket once more. He hit the speed dial and in seconds Bobby’s voice was ringing in his ear. The old man had wanted to come with them, but someone had to take care of Jamie and right now, with Cass missing Dean didn’t trust anyone but Bobby.

“Dean? Everything okay?”

Dean hesitated. “Fine. Sam’s just…doing his thing. How’s everything there?”

 _“Fine.”_ Bobby relied tightly.

“Jamie?”

“Sleeping.”

Dean swallowed and closed his eyes, visions of his daughter peaceful and oblivious to what was happening. “Bobby…If anything…”

“You don’t need to ask, idjits.”

“Thanks.” he whispered.

“But you’re getting your asses back here. All of you. You understand me.”

“Yeah.”

 

 

Movement behind him told Dean Sam was finished doing what he had to do and he sighed. This was it. Judgement day. Point of no return. Inhaling slowly he whispered. “See ya later.” down the line and then ended the call. Getting to his feet to meet his brother. Hating the sight of the blood in the corner of his mouth.

“Bobby?”

“Fine. They both are. - You ready.”

Sam gave a curt nod and they both straightened their spines and marched off to face the devil.

 

 

 

**~~~Beware Promises of Always~~~**

 

 

 

“What do you mean you don’t have him?! You have to have him!”

Cass flinched at the heart-wrenching desperation in Dean’s voice. He watched as his brother taunted his husband. Mocking him for Cass not taking him up on his deal. Cass’ fingers curled into a tight fist in the grass by the pool. He hadn’t moved from the spot in a day and a half. However it felt longer in heaven.

 

 

He watched as Sam looked between Dean and Lucifer, and saw the resignation in his features. Cass’ heart raced as he heard Sam give himself over to Lucifer. Held his breath as the plan played out. Knowing deep down it wasn’t going to work. Knowing Sam just wasn’t strong enough.

 

 

He closed his eyes at the horror on Dean face as Sam turned; his face distorted by a malevolent grin. As the realization hit the hunter that they’d failed. When he opened them again, Dean was standing alone in the motel room; his hands clinging to his hair, his eyes over flowing with tears.

 

 

He heard movement behind him and glared at Joshua, shoving himself to his feet, marching furiously towards the older angel. “Why isn’t it over!” he demanded. “Why hasn’t he stopped this? I agreed to save them and now Lucifer has Sam!”

Joshua stood unfazed by Cass’ outburst. “Every story must run its course, Castiel.”

“Bullshit!” Cass spat. “We had a deal. I thought at least our father would honour it!”

“Be patient Castiel. - And watch your language, you’re not on earth any more.” he added in a quiet warning.

Cass huffed furiously; marching back to the pool. His eyes burning and his anger bubbling inside him.

 

 

 

**~~~Beware Promises of Always~~~**

 

 

 

Cass stared in horror as Dean lay prone against the side of the Impala; his brother’s body hovering over him; cling to his shirt as Lucifer used the younger Winchester’s fist to destroy Dean’s face. Turning it into a blood pulp. Cass got to his feet, his whole body buzzing. He wanted to go. Wanted to rush to his husband’s side. Safe him. Help him. Protect him. Hating that he’d trusted his father to keep a promise. He spun to leave, damn his oath. If his father couldn’t keep a promise then why the hell should he? But his path was blocked by Joshua. “Move aside.”

“Where are you going?” Joshua asked as if he didn’t already know.

“You know where. To save him.”

Joshua shook his head. “You agreed to this Castiel.”

“I agreed to stay if Lucifer was stopped. If they were safe.”

Joshua met the angel’s brilliant blue eyes. “Patience Castiel.”

“I have been patient. If I am so any longer Dean with die at the hands of my…”

 

 

Joshua nodded to the pool of water and Cass couldn’t help but look. He stepped closer, staring down into it. Watching as Sam’s arm froze mid-swing. His eyes widening in revelation. Cass’ breath caught and he glanced at Joshua, who simply continued to watch the scene play out. Cass turned back and watched Sam, not Lucifer, step back. Reaching into his pocket he tugged free the rings, throwing them onto the ground and murmuring the words to open the cage. The earth falling away mere feet from the Impala. Cass held his breath as Sam looked back to his brother, a share understanding and sorrow passing between them. Then Michael was there. Reaching for Sam, trying to halt him, only to be pulled into the pit along with Sam.

 

 

“No!” Cass yelled. His words echoed by Dean. He turned to glare at Joshua. “You promised. We had a deal!” he scream furiously, but the older angel said nothing. His focus remaining locked on the pool. Cass turned back and stared as Dean passed out against the Impala, blood pouring from his lips. “I have to go to him. I have to heal him. He can’t die there. Jamie needs him.” Cass pleaded. Flinching when Joshua’s heavy hand settled on his shoulder, keeping him where he was.

“The story is not done yet, Castiel.”

Cass shook off the man’s hand and glowered. Before mournfully looking back to the pool. Before his eyes a figure appeared on the grass, not a foot from Dean. Cass’ breath caught once more as he realized who it was. “Sam?”

 

 

The younger hunter came around slowly; his eyes fluttering open and closed a few times before he finally opened them wide and looked around. Quickly scrambling to his feet and rushing to his brother’s side.

“Our father keeps his promises Castiel. - You need to have more faith.”

Cass turned to find himself alone. Sighing sadly he lowered himself back to the dirt beside the pool, watching as Sam heaved his brother off the ground and hoisted him into the Impala. Fear painted on the younger hunter’s face as he started the car and speed away.

 

 

 

**~~~Beware Promises of Always~~~**

 

 

 

Dean woke feeling like he’d been run over by a fifty ton truck. His ribs were killing him, his head hurt and his face felt like it wasn’t his face. Hissing and groaning he pushed himself upright in the bed, glancing around the hospital room. He had no idea how he’d even gotten there. The last thing he remembered was Sam toppling backwards into a giant hole in the ground.

 

 

Dean’s chest clenched at the memory and a sick feeling rolled up in his throat, choking him. He reached for the small paper bowl next to the bed but didn’t get to use it.

 

 

He felt her presence before he saw her and turned sharply to meet Tessa’s sad blue gaze. “Shit, am I dead. Again.”

Tessa smiled weakly and shook her head. “No. Not this time. - You were lucky though.”

“Yeah, I’m feeling it.” he grunted. “So…why are you here? If its to pass on your sympathies about Sam, you can stick ‘em.”

Tessa stepped forward, lowering herself on the bed. “I am here with sympathy Dean, but not about Sam. He’s fine. Down the hall getting coffee.”

Dean’s head snapped around to stare at her. “What? How? - I saw him…”

“I don’t know how or why Dean. Its above my pay grade.”

Dean swallowed nervously, his fingers tightening around the paper bowl. “So…why are you…here?” he asked cautiously; fearing he already knew the answer.

Tessa pressed a hand to his shoulder. “You already know Dean.”

“Cass?” he breathed.

“I’m sorry Dean.”

 

 

His throat constricted and he was doubling over the paper bowl in an instant. The acid of the vomit scorching his throat as it fought its way free. Tessa rubbed at his back. Just sitting quietly at his side as Dean puked and cried. The sound of footsteps behind them had the woman turning to see Sam, a cup of coffee in his hand and a shocked, fearful look on his face.

“What’s going on?”

Tessa got to her feet and made her way towards the younger hunter. Sam backing away from her out of instinct. Tessa sighed; glancing back at Dean, who was sat trembling on the bed. “Cass.” she whispered. “He’s dead. - I’m sorry.”

“Dead?” Sam frowned. Then rocked back on his heels before rushing forward, setting the paper cup on the small table at the end of the bed. “Dean.”

 

 

Dean shook his head and shoved the paper bowl of puke at his brother before lying back down and curling into himself. The pain too much to bear on top of everything else.

 

 

 

**~~~Beware Promises of Always~~~**

 

 

 

Cass wiped at his eyes and sighed. Swallowing his own pain he got to his feet and turned away from the pool. A heavy suffocated weigh on his chest. It was for the good of his family. He told himself with each step away from the water and Dean.

“Castiel? Where are you going?”

“Anywhere away from here.” Cass sighed before vanishing from the garden.

 

 

**TO BE CONTINUED**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we both know that Dean wouldn’t go looking for Cass, not on the show at least. Its his one failing in my eyes. It really pisses me off how easily he gives up on Cass, when we know Cass never gives up on him. But this thankfully is my universe so I can fix that little character flaw. (Though I haven’t seen season nine yet so there’s still hope of him finally giving a damn.)
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry for the sad painful ending, but it needed to happen. Its part of the overall story. Hope you forgive me. 
> 
>  
> 
> That’s it for now; I’ll have the next part up as soon as I can. Hopefully. I hope you enjoyed this and I’d like to that all those that have read it and reviewed it, and for all the kudos. It’s much appreciated.


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